Council of the Annoyed
by TigerCat111
Summary: Legendaries. You would THINK their lives are all sunshine and rainbows, right? Nope. From dealing with obnoxious trainers to each other, it's a wonder Arceus' head hasn't exploded yet.
1. Three Birds and a Clone

**Hello everybody!!! Welcome to my first (Published, not written) Pokemon Fanfic!!**

**This is, as the title says, about some...ahem..._very annoyed _legendaries!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Ash Ketchum would either not exist or somebody would've launched him into the sun by now.**

**Let's dive right in, shall we??**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

Flashback

**Three Birds and One Clone**

Arceus sat at a table, sipping his tea.

It was a quiet day in the Hall of Origin; just how he liked it.

The relaxed Pokémon let his eyes drift shut, releasing a sigh of contentment amd leaning his head back.

_**Bzzz...**_

Cracking an eye open, he looked around, not seeing anything noteworthy.

He closed his eye again.

_**Bzzz...**_

This time, Arceus opened both eyes, lifting his head as the room began shaking.

_*What in the name of myself--*_

**CRASH!!!**

The doors to the Dining Hall came flying open, slamming against their respective walls, four Pokémon falling through it.

They were all, of course, screaming at each other.

Arceus levitated himself out of his chair, floating over to the pile.

He landed right in front of them, his golden-clad hooves clacking against the tile floor as he did.

The shouting ceased immediately, all heads turning upwards to the giant creature.

The fist to break the silence was one of the birds, her wings flapping as she broke from the group.

"Grandpa!!"

Arceus wagged his head slightly as she wrapped her blue wings around one of his oversized legs.

_*I'm still not her grandfather. Well, not technically.* _He thought to himself.

Once the bird had let go, the white beast lowered himself onto his front knees.

As usual, he used his 'telekinesis' to talk, as, according to the franchise, he has no mouth.

"_Hello, Articuno_."

He looked at the rest.

"_Moltres, Zapdos, Mewtwo. What brings the four of you home today?? I would have expected you to be causing trouble in Kanto_."

The three quickly untangled themselves from each other.

Still glaring at each other, Zapdos spoke up.

"Sorry Paps, but we seems to be havin' a bit of an..."

The electric bird's eyes narrowed, still locked with Mewtwo's.

"...issue."

Arceus cocked a brow.

"_Oh_?"

Mewtwo spoke next, he also using his telekinesis because--once again--no mouth.

"_I wouldn't quite call it __an issue,_" The clone Pokémon began, "_Just some of us..._"

His eyes narrowed.

"..._causing trouble, as usual._"

Now, Moltrés scoffed, deciding to throw her hat in the ring.

Throwing her firey wings into the air, she yelled out.

"If you all would've, I don't know, just _let me have it, _we wouldn't be _in _this situation right now!!!"

Arceus sighed.

"Would someone explain, please?"

"Gladly, Paps." Zapdos began.

_O/O/O/O_

**Earlier that day...**

_Fwoosh!!_

An angry blast of fire sailed down, Zapdos spinning through the air in order to dodge it.

Beating his wings, the electric bird shot back up, squaking angrily at his sister.

"YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT, SIS!!"

Moltrés released another chute of flames.

"IN YOUR _DREAMS, _ZAPDOS!! _MINE _IS BETTER!!"

Zapdos, in turn, unleashed a blast of electricity, the two beams colliding.

The battle raged on for about ten more minutes, the two birds relentlessly arguing and trying to murder each other.

...As usual.

Suddenly, a blue and white beam came down from the air, separating the two.

"Alright, break it up, break it up!!"

The birds each landed on different sides of the ravine, looking upwards.

Articuno glared down at them, her blue wings beating in the air.

"What are you two arguing about _now_?!"

The duo glared at each other.

Suddenly, a mischevious grin spread across Zapdos' beak.

"Say, sis," He began, grin ever-growing, "_My _theme song's better, right?"

Suddenly, Moltrés' eyes popped out, her flaming wings flaring.

"Oh no you don't!!"

She turned her head up to Articuno, giving one of her sweetest, can-this-convince-you smiles.

"Articuno, sweetie, _my _theme song _has _to be better, right?"

Articuno, having landed on a nearby tree, facewinged.

"...Guys."

She inhaled.

"We. Three. Have.** The. Same. THEME SONG!!!**"

The words "Theme song" continued to echo across the landscape.

The idiot siblings both blinked.

"Oh."

Articuno facewinged.

"Well," Moltrés began, "It seems that I have befallen to your superior wit, brother. I shall begin my apology with--"

"EX-_CUSE _ME?!"

_O/O/O/O_

All heads turned to Moltrés, who was literally burning with rage.

"Since _when _do _I _even **remotely hint **that you're smarter than me?!"

Zapdos rolled his eyes.

"Ya could've."

"Yet I _didn't_!!"

As they began to argue, Arceus tapped a golden hoof on the tiled floor.

"_Ahem_."

The siblings looked up, slightly embarassed.

"Sorry, Paps. As I was sayin'-"

"_I'll _take it from here." Moltrés snapped, walking past her brother and, quite literally, kicking him out of the way.

_O/O/O/O_

**Where we left off...**

After the spat had been resolved, the trio managed to have a rare moment of peace together as they flew above the ravine.

As they flew along, something within the ravine caught Moltrés' eye.

Halting, she craned her neck down.

"What's that?"

The other two stopped as well, curious.

Diving down and landing deep in the ravine, the trio found a small, shiny object sticking halfway out of the ground.

Padding over and scratching at the earth around it, Moltrés was eventually able to reveal the entire object.

Her eyes popped.

The other two examined it as well.

Held within the bird's claw was an open master ball, the light from the mettalic insides reflecting in the sunlight.

"Moltrés," Articuno began, "You have done us a great justice, finding such a mysterious and interesting find. You are such a wonderful--"

"...Um...sis?"

_O/O/O/O_

All heads turned to Articuno, who looked confused.

"Number one, _I _found the Masterball. Number two..."

She inhaled.

"**WHAT IS _WRONG _WITH YOU TWO?! I MEAN _SERIOUSLY!! _IS IT _THAT HARD _TO TELL A _STORY?! _ONE THAT LITERALLY HAPPENED _AN HOUR AGO?! _FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! IF UNCLE LUGIA WERE HERE--**"

As the angry ice Legendary continued to rant, everyone else slowly backed away.

About 5 minutes later, she punctuated the end of her rant with a snort of steam from her nostrils.

"...Sorry. I have pent-up fustrations."

The other terrified Legendaries slowly nodded.

She then turned to Mewtwo.

"Why don't you continue from where you came in?"

He shrugged.

"_Fine by me._"

_O/O/O/O_

**Now, where were we??**

Mewtwo descended, Mary Poppins style, in front of the three.

Said three were already engaged in an argument.

"IT'S MINE!! IT'S SHINY, SO IT'S AUTOMATICALLY MINE!!"

"No way Moltrés!! _I'__m _the one with electricity, and what's shinier than electricity?!"

"Guys!! _It doesn't even belong to us!! _A trainer probably passed through here or something!!!"

"_Ahem._"

All heads turned to the clone, who tossed away his umbrella.

Articuno beamed, waving a wing at him.

"Hi, Mewtwo!! What are you doing here?"

He pointed up a a nearby cave on the wall.

"_That's my new 'house'._" He replied.

He looked at the object she was holding.

"..." He continued to stare at it...

...And stare...

..._And stare..._

"Um...Mewtwo?"

He snapped out of his trance.

"_My apologies._" He stated, looking back up at them.

Zapdos glared at him, which Mewtwo reciprocated.

"Well, we outta go now." The electric bird quipped, turning his back on the other male and prepping to fly away.

"Wait!" Moltrés yelled. "What about the ball?! I wanna keep it!"

Zapdos whirled back around with a screech.

"No!! _I'm _keepin' it!!"

"_Actually, this is **my **home, so therefore **I **should keep it._"

Articuno beamed, eye twitching.

"See you two? He has a point! **Let him keep the ball.**"

"**NO.**" Was the reply, which then sparked an all-out war between the three, with Articuno trying to intervene.

As the Legendaries were distracted, a small Pidgey hopped over to the ball, curious.

**30 seconds later..**

_PING!_

The fighters halted immediately, knowing very well what that sound meant.

_O/O/O/O_

**Present**

"_So...what happened after that?_" Arceus wondered, waiting for them to continue.

"Nothin', really." Zapdos replied, holding up the aforementioned Masterball. "We got inta another argument, then decided to come see if ya could get the _Pidgey _out of the ball. And, y'know, argued the whole way here."

Not noticing the emphasis put on the word _Pidgey, _Arceus levitated the ball from the bird's claw, ripping it in half.

A white light leaped into the air,slightly glitchibg as it morphed into the shape of a pidgey before fully materializing.

Said bird looked around before finding herself gazing up at Arceus.

She suddenly went stock-still, eyes never leaving the God-like Pokémon in front of her.

He craned his head down.

"_Do not be frightened, small one._"

This did nothing, however; Mewtwo came over and picked up the bird.

_*Oh well. It's not everyday you get to, literally, 'meet thy maker'.* _He reasoned in his mind.

"_We can return it to Kanto._" Mewtwo offered. "_I don't think the trainers of Sinnoh would find it normal for a Kanto Pokémon to be flying around without a trainer._"

A hurried murmur of agreement came from the rest as the clone walked over and picked up the bird, Arceus backingup slightly.

They began to head out.

"Later, Paps."

"Bye Grandpa!"

"See you later."

"_Goodbye._"

And with that, the doors to the Dining Hall were pulled shut, leaving Arceus alone.

He sighed, floating back over to his tea.

"_Oh look, it's cold. Whatever shall I, the creator of this complex universe, do?_."

_O/O/O/O_

The four Legendaries flew across the water, savoring the sunset as they made the journey from Sinnoh to Kanto.

Looking down, Mewtwo shook the 'Pidgey' he was holding.

"_MissingNo? We are...er...away from Arceus now._"

The small Pokémon blinked before leaping from his arms, surrounding herself in a brilliant white light.

The three waited as her transformation completed itself, revealing a glitchy, backwards-L-shaped Pokémon.

"Sorry, MissingNo." Articuno began, looking slightly guilty.

"We didn't _want _to take you to Arceus, but...uh..."

"...We didn't exactly have a choice..." Moltrés added, looking away.

"Yeah." Zapdos spoke up, "Masterballs ain't easy to break."

"It'S f-f-fiN-n-Ne." The glitch replied. Her voice sounded as if she were smiling.

"_Sorry our Thursday Chat Session got interupted._" Mewtwo put in. "_I can make it up to you next week, if you'd like._"

"S-S-SuRe!!" MissingNo spun in the air.

"I-I-I'm jUSt glaD tO b-b-b-bE paSt Ar-ARcEus-s-S." She quipped.

"Yeah..."

Silence loomed over the five for a while as they flew, but was soon broken by Zapdos, as he had turned around.

"Uh...guys? Why's the Hall o' Origin on fire??"

**Welp, there ya go. Chappie one, done and done!!**

**I know not many Legendaries were featured in this chap, but hey, gotta start somewhere!! And why not with the first Legendaries?? And very first Glitchmon??**

**Don't worry, a lot more get introduced next chapter.**

**If you're wondering where the Masterball came from, well...;-)**

**Also, a certain subject we oughta adress:**

**SHIPPING.**

**Yes, there will be shipping. Yes, some will be weird. No, I don't care if you don't like it.**

**For example: *Picks up chair* I SHIP ARTICUNO AND MEWTWO!! _FIGHT ME!!_**

**And yes, this story _does_ have a plot, y'know, if ya squint hard enough ;-).**

**So!! Fun question time: Who's your favorite Legendary? Mine's Dialga :)**

**Weird Pokémon fact of the day: Furret is taller than Charizard.**

**...I'm not kidding. Furret is 5'11" and Charizard is 5'07". Google it.**

**Well, I suppose that's all for now!!**

**See ya next Chappie!!**


	2. Some People's Children!

**Hello, Pokémon Masters, Coordinaters, and more!!! Welcome to the second chappie!! Glad you could make it!!**

**Alright, time to get aquainted with some more Legendaries!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, we would've had an Eeveelution for _every_ type by now...Aye aye aye!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekenisis Talk_."

**Some People's Children!!**

"I'm just saying!!" A large, golden-yellow beast argued as he padded along with his brothers. "If I'm gonna get caught, I wanna be caught in _style._"

"He...has a point," A brown, furry beast couldn't help but agree. "Luxury Balls _are _nice. I've almost been caught in a couple, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to leave!!"

"Hmm..." The speckled, blue beast went into thought. "I don't know. Yes, Luxury Balls _are _comfy on the inside, yet Premiere Balls..."

"Yeah, yeah." The yellow one spoke again, shaking his head to ward off some annoying Bug Pokémon. "l love 'em and all, 'specially 'cause they're pretty much _made _for us Legendaries, but--"

_Snap!_

All three heads whipped around, trying to see what the cause of the noise was.

Upon just hearing silence, blue spoke up.

"C'mon, it was prolly just a wild vulpix or something. I think the clearing's just up ahead anyways."

The other two nodded, and the three quickened their pace as they continued on.

A few minutes later, the Legends broke past some thick forest and found a small clearing, with a small cliff overlooking the ocean.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiice." The golden one drawled, flopping down on his stomach and stretching out on the lush grass.

"Great find, Suicune." The lion-like one complimented, flopping down on his side and letting the cool breeze whip through his mane.

"Thanks, Entei." Suicune replied, calmly sitting on his hindquarters.

Closing his eyes, the Legendary relaxed with a sigh, lowering himself to the ground and laying his head between his paws.

"So, Raikou, where were we with that debate??"

Raikou, who had rolled onto his back and allowed his legs to sprawl out, let his eyes stay shut.

"Eh...Premiere Balls, I think."

"Oh yeah. Anyways, as I was saying--"

"Wow Pikachu, look!!!What Pokémon are those?!"

Three sets of eyes snapped open immediately.

_O/O/O/O_

**Elsewhere...**

Arceus let out a sigh.

The Hall of Origin had a good number of Legendaries in it today; this including Groudon, Palkia, Giratina, Latias, Sogaleo, Lunala, The Regis, Mew, Azelf, and Uxie.

This, to be expected, brings chaos.

...Well, actually, it isn't _that _bad...er, kind of.

"Yo mama's so fat, she lifted up 'er arm and a Pizza guy fell out!!"

"Yo mama's so ugly, she gave Freddie Pyroar nightmares!!"

"Yo mama's so stupid, she broke the report card system!!"

"Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind kids cry!!"

After each roast was thrown out, the Legendaries on each opponents supporting side let out their multiple cries of "OOOOOOH" and "ROASTEEEEEEEED" and such.

Releasing another sigh, Arceus laid his head on the massive table.

"_I can't tell if I'm amused or insulted_." He drawled to himself. "_Considering that I'm **technically **__their mother_..."

Groundon and Palkia, who at at opposite sides of the table, had their arms/'hands' interlocked as they continued the onslaught of motherly insults.

Pressing down on his opponent further, Groundon yelled out a final blow.

"Yo mama's so fat, I tried to imagine 'er and she _broke my neck!!_"

This was the last straw; with it, Palkia's strength gave way, and his massive arm hit the table with a loud _Thud._

"Darn it." The Space Legend muttered, pulling his limb back and rubbing it. "I almost had ya that time!!"

"Oh well." The red Legendary laughed heartily. "Next time. Now, Who's up next?"

A massive, white, faceless, mettalic-looking giant stepped up, taking Palkia's seat.

Groundon grinned.

"Ey, Regigigas!! You ain't played in a while, buddy!!"

Regigigas remained silent, placing an arm on the table.

Yet, as they were about to start, the doors to the Dining Hall burst open (Deja vú, anybody?), and a cluster of screaming Pokémon piled in.

Lugia and Ho-oh flew up in the air with simultanious shrieks, whilst the Dog Trio came to a skidding halt (still screaming). Celebi shot in as well, screaming her onion head off.

"_QUIET!!!_" Arceus wailed, silencing five of the six.

Celebi continued to squeal, prompting Arceus to shout at her once more.

"_**I SAID QUIET!!!!**_"

That shut her up.

Rubbing his temples, the Godlike Pokémon sighed. Again.

"_What's the matter?_"

The other Legendaries of the room came over, awaiting the dillema.

"It...it was..." Entei spluttered, shaking.

"**Him.**" Lugia said with a rough shudder.

While several of the others immediately understood and exchanged worried whispers, others were slightly confused--Arceus included.

"Er..._Him?_"

The Johto's all looked at Suicune, dubbing him the unfortunate soul who had to speak the name.

Letting out a shaky breath, the water Legendary spoke.

"...Ash Ketchum."

The horror that spread throughout the room was painfully relatable; it was as if the doctor just told you you could never eat another doughnut again.

As the room members freaked out, Raikou yelled out.

"That's not even the worst part!!" He wailed, falling onto his stomach and thrusting out a paw.

"_HE STARTED **MONOLOGING**_!!!"

That statement pretty much started a desperation riot; everyone was going crazy. Flipped tables, moves being unintentionally fired off, you name it.

"Hey, wait a minute!!"

Cue freeze frame as everyone looked at a very confused Latias.

"He shouldn't be in Johto!!"

This sparked a light bulb in everybody else's heads, which all turned to face two Legendaries in particular.

"Sogaleo. Lunala." Arceus regarded them.

"Uh..." The lion Legendary began to sweat as the moon owl took sudden interest in the nearby wall.

"You wouldn't happen to know _why _a certain _trainer _isn't **at school, would you?**"

"U-Uh...er..." Sogaleo sweat even harder, fumbling over his words.

"Of _course _you were keeping an eye on him while he's in Alola, and not just...I don't know...using the supply closets of the School to play...say...'Seven Minutes in Heaven', _right?_"

The Alolan Legendaries were sweating more than a McDonald's Big Mac with extra grease out in the sun.

"_L-Look at the time_!!" Lunala practically screamed, still staring at the nearby wall.

"We better go, bye!!" Sogaleo screeched while bolting for the door, his flying girlfriend following close behind.

The other Legendaries growled, prepping to follow; however, Arceus stopped them.

"Let them go," He began.

"We'll punish them by locking them in a closet with Ash Ketchum monologuing for an hour on April Fool's."

A curt nod was the reply.

As everyone began to grumble to each other, Giratina slunk up next to the Godlike Legendary.

"Hey, Arceus??"

"_Hmm_??"

"Uh...so, weird question...but..."

The Darkness Pokémon shifted his feet.

"Why does the universe make us like Ash Ketchum for odd and specific periods of time??"

Arceus blinked.

"..._What?_"

"I was wondering that too." Lugia piped up, curious.

"Yeah!!" Latias quipped.

"It really doesn't make sense." Ho-oh sighed, her hatred for the enragement child knowing no bounds.

"_He's really stupid._" Mew groaned, shaking her head. "_I mean, really. How does somebody even **make **a kid like that?_"

"Preach, sister." Azelf drawled, floating nonchalantly in the air.

"Mhm." Uxie quietly agreed.

The Regis all crossed their arms, awaiting an explanation; Regigigas merely stood there.

"Um...er..."

Arceus inwardly panicked; he honestly wasn't very sure himself.

Suddenly, he came up with a _great _response...

"Well, maybe if you figure out why he's still 10 years old, that'll solve the problem?"

...He instantly regretted saying that.

The room was suddenly filled with crazy Legendaries making psychotic conspiracy theories and plotting out how they would solve the mystery.

"How about we knock him out, bury him in a ditch, and--"

"No murder, Latias."

"Oh, darnit."

"I can turn him into a tree!!" Celebi squealed, spinning in the air.

"I still think that counts as murder."

"You think _everything _counts as murder, Lugia."

"I do not!"

Palkia leaned over to Giratina and whispered to him.

"C'mon, let's go get Dia and get started! We can beat the masses if we get an early start!"

"Great idea!!" His brother whispered back, and the two made their exit.

Arceus sighed, laying his head down on the table.

It would be a _loooooooooong _night...

**Oh, what's this? A story arc?**

**Don't worry, it won't be long. Just a couple chappies.**

**And yes, this chapter is a decent description of my feelings about Ash Ketchum.**

**Ugh. Just the name...ugh.**

**ALRIGHTY!! Here's everybody from this chappie's gender, if you got confused:**

**Arceus: Male**

**Suicune: Male**

**Raikou: Male**

**Entei: Male**

**Ho-oh: Female**

**Lugia: Male**

**Celebi: Female**

**Mew: Female**

**Palkia: Male**

**Giratina: Male**

**Latias: Female (Duh, right?)**

**Groundon: Male**

**Azelf: Female**

**Uxie: Female**

**Regi trio: None/Non-Binary**

**Regigigas: Male**

**Sogaleo: Male**

**Lunala: Female**

**Alright, weird Pokémon fact of the day:**

**If you have a female Azurill, evolving it has a 1 outta 3 chance of it becoming male. No joke. Azurill has 75% female and 25% male ratio, whereas Marill has 50/50 each. Hence, you just might get a gender-changing-mon!**

**Alright, audience questionnare: What's your favorite Eeveelution?**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	3. How to (Not) Settle a Debate

**Whaddup whaddup whaddup!!! Time for Chappie three!!!**

**Now, we get to see some sibling bonding...and destruction!!**

**Let's-a-go!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekenisis Talk._"

**How to Win a Debate**

Somehow, the word about solving the mystery had gotten around to everybody.

Everyone was splitting off into teams, making bets, and overall letting out their inner insanity.

_O/O/O/O_

"Hehehehe..."

Latias clung to the side of a ship, cackling quietly to herself.

"Hehehehehehe..."

Crawling silently up the 'wall', the Eon sister peeked over the railing.

_*There he is!!_

Sure enough, Stupid--ahem, _Ash Ketchum, _was leaning over the opposite railing, blabbing away at Pikachu and trying to examine every Pokémon that went by.

Latias grinned evilly.

Tipping backwards slightly, she began to make a series of Wingull noises to alert her partner in crime.

On top of the ship, Latios awoke at the sound of feminine cooing.

_*There's the signal..._*

Releasing a sigh, the Eon brother pressed a claw to the Mega Stone that was tied around his neck.

However, instead of Mega-Evolving, the Legendary transformed into a human teenager.

Hopping down, he ran a hand through his spiky blue hair and headed over to the annoying brat.

Striking up a conversation, Latios had the Ten-year-old fully distracted.

Latias grinned at the sight of her plan working.

_*Alright!! Time for phase--*_

Before she could continue her train of thought, she was swarmed by a hoard of male Wingulls.

_Splash!!!_

This was accompanied by angry female yelling.

"What was that?"

Latios sighed, placing a hand over his face.

"Probably just a Sharpedo or something. Anyways, as I was saying..."

However, as Latios got the boy re-enraptured with different facts about Pikachus, the water was suddenly swirling and crashing against the boat.

"Pika Pika!!"

A massive, blue, whale-like beast began to emerge from the water, mouth agape.

Once her head was fully exposed, the water went perfectly calm again.

Ash stood in a weird Anime-pose, completely shocked; Pikachu was making his meme-face.

Releasing another sigh, Latios turned back to the kid.

_*Looks like phase two's happening.*_

"Hey, is that your mom over there?"

"Wait, _what?! _DON'TLETHERSEEMEIHAVEN'TCHANGEDMYUNDERWEARINTEN--"

His sentence was abruptedly cut off as he got pushed into Kyogre's exposed mouth.

The massive female clamped it shut, dissapearing into the water.

Latios heard footsteps approaching him from behind.

A strong hand was clamped on his shoulder.

"Kid, I can't thank you enough."

A dark chuckle escaped the Legendary-turned-human's lips.

_O/O/O/O_

The Eon twins descended atop Sky Pillar, Latios having returned to his natural from.

Rayquaza and Kyogre both floated just above the floor of the Pillar; Kyogre flapped her massive fins every few minutes to stay airborne.

Groudon was there as well, grinning like a madman.

In the center, face-down, was Ash Ketchum, Pikachu passed out next to him.

"Hehehehehehehe..." Latias cackled again, rubbing her claws together.

Rayquaza gazed at her as she did so, eyes going full lovey-dovey Marry-Me-Right-Now, anime hearts floating around him.

Kyogre gave him a nudge as the Dragon type began explaining the next steps of her plan.

"Okay: Groundon, check his bag; Kyogre, inspect the minion; Latios, check his innards; Rayquaza, help me figure out how to run this chainsaw--"

However, she was abruptedly cut off as a beam descended from the sky, covering the area in smoke.

When it cleared, the Hoenn Legendaries looked at where their captive had been lying.

...Key word being 'had'.

Latios sighed as his companions began angrily screaming and firing off moves out of fustration.

_O/O/O/O_

"For goodness sake Zapdos, _FLY FASTER!!!_"

"YOU TRY CARRYIN' THIS THING!! FOR _GOODNESS SAKE _IS 'E MADE OUTTA _STEEL_?!"

Articuno shot a tiny Ice Beam her siblings, attempting to catch their attention.

"Shut up and keep flying!! And honestly, _yeah he's prolly made outta steel!!! Have you **seen **the Pokémon he's carried?!_"

**ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAR!!!**

The trio's heads snapped around, finding three gigantic--and _very _angry--Legendaries catching up to them.

Mega Rayquaza, Primal Kyogre, and Primal Groundon chased the three escapéés across the water; Primal Groundon created small land masses to step on, Primal Kyogre swam, and Mega Rayquaza flew, his Extreme Speed activated.

Screaming, the Kanto birds did the only logical thing:

"**WE GOTTA GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!!**"

_O/O/O/O_

By the time they reached Kanto, the poor birds were sweating, panting, and straight-up collapsing as they staggered into Articuno's cave.

They each flopped down onto the icy floor.

"I can't...believe...we actually...lost them..." Moltrés spluttered, slightly melting the ice around her with her wings.

"Yeah..." Articuno drawled, eyes closed.

"Okay Zapdos, lets have a look at the kid."

Zapdos craned his head around to examine the victim...

...Who was not present.

"Uh...gals..."

"Hm?"

"...He's gone."

The other birds were upon him in seconds.

"_YOU **LOST **HIM?!_"

"DON'T BLAME ME!! THE HOENN NUTCASES WOULDA GOTTEN US!! BESIDES--"

Er...we'll let them settle this...

_O/O/O/O_

**Elsewhere...**

Mespirit giggled evilly to herself, tentacles swinging her prize back and forth.

"Too. Easy."

_O/O/O/O_

Descending gracefully, Mespirit unceremoniously dropped the human onto the ground in front of her companions.

"Nice, sis." Azelf drawled. "How'dja get 'im?"

"Ah-ah-ah." The pink Legendary replied. "A magician never reveals her secrets.''

Uxie floated around the boy, wanting to begin the examination.

"Hold up, sis. Can't start without the others."

With an impatient grunt, Uxie floated over to the fourth Legendary in the room and sat on the warm floor.

Heatran sat on its rear end, curious.

The four were currently in Heatran's home, deep beneath Stark Mountain.

The fire Legendary lowered down onto its stomach, closing its eyes and dozing off as they waited for the others to arrive.

A little while later, Darkrai, Cresselia, Palkia, and Giratina came in, courtesy of portals.

As they rose to greet the newcomers, Mespirit gained confusion.

"Hey, where's Dialga?"

Dejected, Giratina explained.

"We looked everywhere--and I mean _everywhere--_but we couldn't find him!!"

"Yeah!!" Palkia chimed in. "We don't know what happened!!"

"That ain't good." Azelf muttered, going into thought.

Heatran suddenly gained a worried look, making gestures with its massive head.

Cresselia's eyes popped open at what the heat Legendary was saying.

"Oh dear..."

"Eh, Cress? Fill me in?? I'm afraid I don't quite speak...er...Heatran."

Cresselia turned to Darkrai.

"Heatran is worried that it might be Team Galactic..."

Giratina let out a loud growl, whereas Palkia balled his giant hands into fists.

"I swear to all things Unholy--"

"Pika Pika?"

They were immediately distracted by Pikachu's sudden disruption; said adorable rodent was standing up and looking at them curiously.

All was still, until...

"So..._ADORABLE!!!_"

The electric mouse was swarmed by Mespirit, Cresselia, Azelf, and Uxie; all of them were...well, what do you do when you see an adorable animal? (That you aren't allergic to?)

Darkrai sighed.

"Girls."

Looking at Heatran, he found that the Lava monster was fast asleep, still standing.

He tapped it on the head, making it wake.

Heatran then began making more gestures.

"Erm..."

"Oh, Shaymin? Said he wasn't interested." Palkia snorted. "Said he needs to ''put all of his precious time and effort into winning the girl of his dreams", aka, "Spend literally every second of every hour of every day trying to figure out how to talk to a girl"."

Giratina chuckled.

"And yet, Mew is completely oblivious."

"Tell me about it."

However, as they were distracted, the volcano suddenly began shaking.

...Quite violently.

Heatran opened its mouth wide and unleashed a roar; the meaning was obvious, and they all began to evacuate through Giratina's Portals.

"WAIT!! WHO HAS THE--"

_Fwoosh!!!_

_O/O/O/O_

Ash Ketchum (Pikachu with him, but had fallen back unconscious) was flung out of the volcano, and right in front of three beasts.

Entei ceased his roaring, looking down in triumph.

"Nice one, man!" Raikou applauded. "That volcano-roaring-thing's pretty awesome!!"

His grin became mischevious.

"You could say that it's..."

"Raikou, no."

"..._Pretty lit._"

As the lion groaned, Suicune sprinted past them.

"That was awful, Raikou, but no time!! They'll be out any second!! And Entei, you _know _how Heatran gets when--"

Cue portal opening in front of him, a _very angry _Heatran leaping out of it.

Eyes full of rage, the Sinnoh Legendary charged straight at Entei, tackling him into the nearby river.

"Oh, crud." Suicune muttered. "C'mon Rai, get the kid and let's--"

A white blur whizzed past him, leaving the two dizzy.

"Wha--"

"Well, _this _sure is ideal." A male voice came from above them.

"The truth of the matter, dear, is that that really _was _easy." A female voice replied.

Looking up, Suicune and Raikou found two dragons above them, the black one now holding Ash.

"Reshiram!! Zekrom!!"

"Tsk tsk tsk." Zekrom shook his head in mock dissapointment.

"We best be off now. Ta Ta!!" Reshiram practically sang as they shot off towards Unova.

_O/O/O/O_

As the duo descended atop Dragonspiral Tower, Reshiram let out a chuckle.

"You know, dear, we'll probably have this issue settled in no time!"

"I agree." Zekrom replied, grinning; his sharp fangs gleaming in the sunlight.

"So, first, we should examine his--"

"I AM DA ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

A brown, red, and blue blur whizzed past the two, dissapearing into the distance.

After regaining their composure (and realizing Ash was gone), the two simultaniously screeched into the distance.

"KELDEO!!!"

_O/O/O/O_

"Are you _sure _sending him was the best idea? Those two might kill him."

Virizion responded to Coballion's question with a shrug.

"Is that such a great loss?" She murmured.

"Not gonna lie," Terrakion added, "I probably wouldn't mind much. But at the same time--"

He was interrupted by Keldeo crashing down a little ways away, smoke covering everything.

As the Legendaries coughed and the dust settled, it was revealed that Keldeo now stood in a small crater, Ash Ketchum and Pikachu on his back.

"Got 'eem."

Shaking himself to be ridden of dust particles, the unicorn lept out of the crater and trotted over to his companions.

"Well done, Keldeo." Coballion congradulated, examining the human as Keldeo bucked him off.

Snorting, the horse replied.

"Them two never saw me comin'!"

"Good." Virizion bounded over, small sparkles being left in her wake.

However, as Terrakion began to make his way over, he stopped and sniffed the air.

"Hey guys?? What's that--"

**BUUUUUUUUUUURP.**

Suddenly, an absolutely _revolting _smell assaulted their senses; the fist strike was soon accompanied by other bowl movements...from _both _ends.

The Legendaries just couldn't take it; gagging, they all passed out in seconds.

_O/O/O/O_

**Hall of Origin**

"_Mother of me,_" Arceus whined, waving a hoof in front if his face.

Falling to a sitting position in the hallway, he unleashed another groan.

"_What **is **that_?!"

A nearby closet door drifted open slightly, Sogaleo poking his head out.

"Number one: _Dude, you don't have a nose. _Number two, you know how much Victini loves Torkal bell. I mean, really, have you _seen _the food there?!"

Arceus groaned

"_Stupid tiny Legendaries...always causing trouble_..."

Shaking his head, the lion Legend pulled the door shut again, locking it.

Mew floated by, wagging her noggin back and forth.

"Those two and their stupid make-out games..."

Arceus sighed, looking at her.

"_I don't suppose **you're **going off to join the mischief?_."

To that, the pink cat creature guffawed.

"Honey, _puh-lease. _I wouldn't touch that...that..._thing _with a ten-foot pole!! Nuh-uh, I've got _other _plans."

"_Oh_?"

"Yep!!! Buh-Bye!!!"

And with that, she was off.

Sighing, Arceus rose, heading into the dining area.

"_I suppose I should check on the idiots_..."

_O/O/O/O_

**5 Hours Later...**

All the Legendarues that had been apart of the fray sat in the Dining Hall.

Nobody spoke to each other; they were too mad.

Yet another sigh came from Arceus.

"_Please, everyone. I knkw you're upset with each other, but._.."

He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

After a few minutes of silence, a giggle echoed in the room.

All heads turned to Latias, who was attempting to hold in her laughs.

Eventually, she couldn't hold it in; she went into all-out laughter.

"Today was so _stupid_!!"

That statement was more than true; one by one, everybody came out of their shells, laughing off the day's antics.

"--And then the Captain had an all-out Celebration Dinner _in my honour _for getting rid of the kid!!"

"Dude, did you see his _face _when I snatched the kid away? _Priceless_!!"

"He tasted awful!!"

"Preach it, sister."

This time, Arceus released a relieved sigh; all would be well.

Yet, as he floated away, a thought struck him.

_*Wait...if they never solved the mystery...*_

His eyes widened.

_***WHERE'S THE KID?!**__*_

_O/O/O/O_

**???**

Ash Ketchum slowly awoke, groaning and rubbing his head.

"Hey Pikachu...where are--"

Suddenly, a blinding light filled the area; apparently he had been behind a curtain, and it was just pulled back.

A screaming group of fangirls wailed in front of the stage, beginning to climb atop it.

As he freaked and attempted to escape, the reality of the situation occured:

He was tied up.

**So long, Ash Corchép ;-)**

**Nothing more terrifying than crazy fangirls, eh?**

**Welp, that was a fun write.**

**Alright, weird Pokémon fact of the day:**

**Salamence and Dunsparce are the same weight. No joke. 4'11" imperial and 1.5 metric.**

**Fun question: Favorite Starter??**

**Well, that's all for now!! See ya next chappie!!**


	4. Concerts and Crisis

**WELCOME BACK!!!**

**Thanks for sticking around for this chappie!! As a showing of my gratitude, here are some Review Responses(TM)!!**

**Ri2: Glad you're enjoying it so far!! To answer your questions, MissingNo. doesn't want to be around Arceus because (spoilers). And to answer your other question...**

***Pulls out extremely long list, releasing the bottom, it rolling far away cartoon style* This is my "Why I hate Ash Ketchum" list!!**

**1) HE'S SO WHINY. ****We don't need a temper tantrum _every time _you don't get that Pokémon, Stupid.**

**2) HE'S SO DENSE. Like honestly this boi has so many side chicks yet they're all in the friendzone.**

**3) HIS STUPID MONOLOGUE:**

**I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN...(enter rest of it here cuz I'm lazy)**

**4--actually, if I keep going it'll probably take up the whole chappie, and I got a story to write!!**

**...Although, to be completely honest, he _was _pretty tolerable in XY...**

**Also, about the Regis:**

**I**** HAVE THIS WEIRD ANNOYING INTERNAL CONFLICT ABOUT REGICE'S GENDER, OKAY?! LIKE, I _KNOW _IT'S A DUDE, BUT MY BRAIN KEEPS SAYING IT'S A GIRL!! AND I CAN'T HAVE _ONE _OF THE TRIPLETS BE ONE GENDER AND THE OTHER TWO BE ANOTHER!! _BUT JUST ON THOSE THREE!!_**

**So, yeah. But Regigigas is always a dude in my opinion.**

**Next people!**

**PK: *Takes a step back* Don't worry, this chapter is about Mew. Kinda. Just read it, 'kay?**

**Ion: Thanks for the Feedback!!! Glad you're enjoying it!!!**

**Anon: Flareon are great :) Eevee's my fav Pokémon, but Vaporeon's my favorite Eeveelution.**

**Mega: Glad you agree. Thanks for reading.**

**lukekriebs: Ey, thanks my dude.**

**Alright!! Pleasantries out of the way, let's get this show on the road!!**

_*Thoughts_

"Speech"

"_Telekinisis talk._"

**Concerts and Crisis**

A 'teenage' girl with long, flowing pink hair and tan-colored skin skipped down a street in Rustburo City (Hoenn, if ya didn't know).

Humming to herself, she rounded a corner, finally spotting who she was looking for.

"MISSY!!!"

Another 'teenage' girl, one with a shoulder-length bob of grey hair and pale skin, whirled around.

A grin plastered itself on her face.

"PinKY!!!"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!!!"

"I DoN'T c-cArE!!"

The two ran to each other, 'Pinky' squeezing the other in a tight hug.

"It's been a while, Missy!!" She squealed. "I haven't seen you in literal _ages_!!"

'Missy' giggled.

"L-LAst tIme wE h-hUng oUt wAs f-four m-moNthS aGo."

"Yeah!! _Ages_!!"

Grabbing the other girl's arm, the pink-haired one dragged her towards the nearest restaurant.

"C'mon!! The concert isn't for another four hours, and I wanna catch up!!"

_O/O/O/O_

**10 minutes later**

The girls recieved their meals, both stuffing their faces like rabid pack animals.

Taking a breath, the grey-haired girl lifted her head.

Looking around to make sure nobody was watching their packed-in corner booth, she lowered her voice to a whisper.

"So, H-H0w hAve y0u b3en, Mew?"

The disguised Legendary swallowed before answering, her reply accompanied with a shrug.

"Pretty good, I guess."

MissingNo frowned.

"SoMetHIng w-WrOng??"

"Huh? No, it's nothing."

Placing her elbows on the table and her chin on the back of her palms, Mew gazed at her companion.

"Besiiiiiiiiiiiides, I wanna know how my bestie's doing!!"

Grinning slightly, MissingNo giggled.

"I'v3 b-bEEn aLriGht. I a-asSuME y-yOu heArd aBOut the MaSTerBAll in-inCiDent?"

Mew laughed heartily.

"Yeah. Those birds are pretty dumb sometimes, huh?"

"YeAH."

More time passed as the two chatted, unaware of the three figures silently watching them...

_O/O/O/O_

**4 hours later...**

The two disguised Pokémon were currently jumping around in a mosh pit.

"ISN'T THIS FUN, MISSY?!?!"

"Y0U S-SAiD 1T!!!"

One of their favorite bands, Steel Maiden, was blasting away on stage.

Leaping into the air, Mew executed a perfect backflip, completely in-time with the music.

MissingNo, smirking, proceeded to execute a cartwheel, also in-time with the heavy song.

Laughing, the two high-fived, continuing to mosh.

However, as they danced and headbanged, three figures--male, just to clarify--watched from atop a storm cloud.

"How cute." One snorted, rolling his eyes.

His brother flicked his tail and grunted.

"More like how _stupid. _Disguising yourself as a human to go to some dumb show? Pathetic."

"Well _duh. _It's _Mew. _She's the epitamy of stupid."

"I think Ash Ketchum fits that category better. How about the epitamy of pathetic?"

"Eh, works for me."

"Thunderus, Tornadus, look over here real quick."

The two genies floated back over to where Landorus was.

"Yeah? What is it?" Thunderus questioned.

The burnt orange genie growled.

"I've finally figured out who the grey-haired girl is."

Tornadus cocked a brow.

"Well? Who is it? I've been trying ta figure it out since we spotted them at the restaurant!!"

Landorus turned to him.

"If I'm right? That's MissingNo."

The other two's jaws dropped.

"That weird glitchy thing that should cease to exist?!" Thunderus roared.

"Yep." The eldest brother replied.

Thunderus suddenly cracked a smile...and his knuckles.

"Well, since we _are _their superiors, isn't it our _civic duty _to make sure they aren't...what's the word..._breaking any rules?_"

"Oh yeeeeeeeaaaah!!" Landorus chimed in, rolling his neck. "I mean, _shouldn't _we take that _bug _to Arceus so that he can...say..._fix it??_"

Landorus grinned.

"You two are the best brothers a Legend could ask for."

_O/O/O/O_

**A Few Hours Later...**

Mew yawned, stretching her human arms.

The duo were headed towards their hotel, which was a decent walk over to Lillycove City. The concert had taken place a little ways off from Fortree City, but the girls found a nice hotel in Lillycove.

They would have just transformed and flown there, but even if they _had_ gone as common Pokémon, _somebody _would have surely seen them change back into human form. Plus, they were really tired.

"WANNA HIT THE MALL TOMORROW, MISSY?!"

"**WhaT?!**"

"DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE MALL TOMORROW?!"

"**WHaT d1D YOu s-sAy?!**"

"_DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE MALL TOMORROW?!?!?!_"

"**OH, SuRE!!!**"

After a few minutes of walking, the ringing in their ears stopped.

Rubbing the side of her head, MissingNo yawned.

"HoW m-mUch f-f-fuRTh3r?"

"A mile, at best." Mew drawled back her reply.

MissingNo moaned.

_Rustle._

The girls stopped, looking over their shoulders.

The disguised glitch instinctively grabbed onto Mew's arm, biting her lower lip.

Mew observed the area, waiting for something to jump out.

"EeK!!"

MissingNo's hands were suddenly yanked from Mew, prompting her to whirl around to see what was happening.

Tornadus had pulled her companion into the air, holding the thrashing glitch be the neck.

"HEY!! WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE--"

The angry Legendary was abruptedly cut off as Landorus and Thunderus jumped from the shadows and grabbed her.

Landorus smirked evilly.

"Well well well!! Lookie here!! We found a rat and a mistake!! Isn't that interesting, boys?"

"Sure is!!" Thunderus agreed, twisting the struggling Mew's arm. "Won't Arceus just _love _to see a defective flaw in his _precious _creation?? Oh, he'll be _thrilled_!!"

"_And _we can have some fun in the process." Landorus added, starting to power up a move.

Tornadus grinned.

"So, whadda we--"

However, _he_ was abruptedly cut off as a Water-Gun hit him right in the eyes.

Shrieking, he yanked both hands up to try and wipe his eyes.

He then proceeded to be rammed square in the stomach with a Mega Kick, hit square in the face with a Mega Punch, and thrown to the ground with a seismic toss.

When he groggily opened his eyes, he found MissingNo, in her natural form, looming over him.

A scary, black slit appeared in the air in front of her, two small black holes above it.

"You'RE lUCky IT's jUst m3."

Dissapating the eerie smile, she then proceeded to fling him off to Arceus-knows-where.

Turning around, she found Mew (in her natural form) using protect, the damaged Legendary under an influx of attacks from Landorus and Thunderus.

Bounding to her friends side, she then used blizzard on the opposition, who, might I add, were also screaming insults at Mew to lower her guard.

After getting them dazed, Mew dived in, sending the two flying off to Arceus-knows-where with a Thunder attack.

Once that was taken care of, Mew turned her head to MissingNo.

Said glitch was slowly descending towards the ground.

"...Missy? You okay?"

The Glitchmon gave no reply.

The pink cat descended down, laying on her back and looking up at the stars.

She sighed.

"Look, those three are just...bullies. I'm sorry they ruined our night."

After a moment, MissingNo replied.

"It's nOT yOUr fAuLt."

Silence reigned between them for a while.

Mew continued to stare up at the many stars.

_A blue, floating cat-like creature whirled around to his sister, calling to her._

_"Hey Blinky!! Betcha can't count more stars than me!!"_

_"Hah!! In your dreams, Berry!!"_ _The pink one replied, shooting after him._

She released a sigh.

_*...Why do I still remember that?*_

"HeY Me-e-e-eW?"

Rolling her head to look at her best friend, Mew hummed a response.

"D-Do YOu tHInk M w-wiLL b-bE BaCK s00n?"

The cat Legendary went stiff for a moment.

Turning her head away, she closed her eyes.

"...Of course, MissingNo. He _is _your brother, after all."

**Okay, I knkw this may be a weird place to end the chappie, but oh well.**

**So, I've added more plotholes for ya'll ta theorize about, 3 more Legendaries to add to the neverending chaos, and terribly Pokiefied metal bands!!**

**Okay, so about the Genie trio: Yes, they're pretty much the bullies of the Legendary 'world'. Now, if you like them, I'm sorry--they just seem to fit the role perfectly. Plus, other than Evil Teams and such (Possible spoilers??), we don't really have 'antagonists'. And they may not really count as antagonists, but it's close enough.**

**Weird Pokémon fact of the day: Heatran is the only Legendary that can be _either _male of female. I actually meant to put this fact last chappie, but I forgot.**

**Anyways, this fact has relevance to the story--Heatran is gonna be one of those characters that everybody is arguing about its gender, whereas its just goin' in the unisex bathroom and drivin' everyone nuts.**

**Well, that's enough for today. See ya next chappie!!**


	5. Devil's Pet

**Hey guys, time for the next chappie!!**

**Of course, some quick Review Reactions(TM):**

**Ri2: That's the thing--they _aren't. _They're just some self-inflated pricks who _think _they're better than everybody else.**

**lukekriebs: Yeah, they are. And _trust _me, these guys are pretty much the epitamy of a dysfunctional family, so everybody wants to be as far away from each other at all costs. Well, most of the time.**

**AJ: Hey, welcome! Trust me, it gets _way _crazier ;)**

**PK: *Takes a step back, but is grinning* Oh yay, it's still working!!**

**Oh, before I forget: *Fires off party cannon* HELLO POKEMON SWORD AND SHEILD!!!**

**Okay, one more quick A/N I keep forgetting to address:**

**Okay, so when writing the first couple of chapters, I completely forgot about the events of Pokémon Heroes: Latios and Latias. Hence, I forgot Latios died.**

**The only reason I even _remotely _remembered was because I was browsing through Ri2's fanfics (GO READ THEM THEY'RE AMAZING) and I found their oneshot about Latias (Don't worry, I'm not gonna spoil anything).**

**So, here's how I've worked this out: Latios is _clearly _alive here. The Soul Gem is embedded in his chest, and Mew gave him a new body. He offered a way to repay her, but she merely stated:**

"Oh, we'll just say you owe me a favor!! Be ready for when I call it iiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!"

**...Yeah, that's pretty scary, isn't it?**

**Oh, also, Latios and Latias's parents were Shinies.**

**Alright!! Who's ready to _finally _start this shindig?!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekenisis Talk_"

**Devil's Pet**

_O/O/O/O_

**In the Distortion World...**

Giratina entered his home through a portal, his form changing almost immediately.

Lowering himself onto a platform, he sank onto his snake-like belly and sighed.

"Still can't find him?" Cyrus asked, sitting next to him.

"No." The demonic beast muttered.

"Well, that's certainly strange." The former leader of Team Galactic thought aloud, rubbing his chin.

Giratina snorted in sadness, small puffs of smoke coming from his nostrils.

"Oh come on, don't cry. He'll turn up eventually."

"I don't cry."

"Giratina--"

"No, dude, I can't physically cry. Arceus never gave me tear ducts."

"...Okay then."

As the darkness Legendary continued his moping, Cyrus lay down, placing his head between his paws.

After about an hour or so, the realm began to shake and rumble.

Then, a pulsing sensation rang through, a certain space Legendary piling in.

"HEY GIRATINA!! WHERE YOU AT?!"

Palkia's brother responded with an equally loud roar:

"OVER BY THE UPSIDE-DOWN WATERFALL!!!"

Before, Cyrus may have covered his ears; however, he had long since become accustomed to incidents like these.

As the flying creature came into view, Giratina rose up to greet him.

"What are you doing here, Palks?"

Plakia landed on a floating flowerbed.

"Well, some of the guys invited me out, so I figured I'd coem grab ya and we coul head on out.

Giratina blinked before grinning.

"That sounds fun."

Suddenly, a frown began to form on his face.

"Wait, you said just guys, right? Does that mean Solgaleo's gonna smuggle Lunala along and "Powder his nose" every 7 minutes?"

"Nah, we're watching him every step of the way."

"Okay, I'm in."

Turning around, he gave Cyrus a pat on the head with his tail.

"Be good while I'm gone, okay? Oh, and if you see a giant mound of yarn covered in honey..."

The devil leaned in, eyes narrowed, a dark aura polluting the surrounding air.

"**Ask no questions. Do not require an explanation from me, nor anyone else. Do not confide in the yarn, nor the precious honey that glazes over it. You must bow respectfully, quietly express that you did not mean to disrupt its almightly prescence, and flee. Do you understand?**"

Cyrus, shook, nodded his head.

"Good!! I'll be leaving now."

And with that, 2/3 of the dragon trio departed.

Cyrus, waiting a few minutes just to be sure they were truly gone, turned and lept over multiple floating areas before finding what he was looking for.

Digging into the abandoned Buneary burrow, he pulled out his journal--something Girantina was not aware of.

Pulling out a pen, he placed it in his mouth and began to write, albeit messily.

_Day 397._

_It seems that Dialga has gone missing, and Palkia and Giratina have yet to find him._

_I, however, still have yet to find answers._

_As you know, I have many questions about this...'lore', of sorts, and while I **have** been staying with the Pokémon equivalent of the devil incarnate for over a year now; very few of those questions have been answered._

_Of course, my main curiousity still stands:_

_Why, Giratina?_

_He was angry--no, he **hated **me for the first few months after I chose to remain here. I mostly hid, for being in his sight only caused rage and destruction._

_...Not that I can truly blame him anymore. After over a year's worth of thinking I have finally seen the error of my ways._

_But then, out of absolutely **nowhere, **he came to me one day a few months later._

_He was holding a paper in his mouth--I honestly thought it was my one way ticket to Hell--and...smiling?_

_Sitting in front of me and handing me the paper, he was the most friendly I'd ever seen._

_He began to blab about casual topics--certain females and males weird...oh, what's the word he used...'love pentagons', how his brothers were, etc. I sat in a stunned silence, not understanding how the heck we went from "My name is Giratina. You almost kill my family, prepare to die", to "Bff's yay" in under the span of 5 minutes._

_After a while, the beast seemed to remember the list he handed me._

_He explained that he had found what he had thought were either Pokémon I liked or were a suitable fit. I had no clue what he had in store._

_I looked them over. Not bad picks, to be honest. A few of them were even Pokémon I had on my team._

_Looking back up at him, I found that his face was inches from mine, eyes staring at me expectantly._

_I wasn't sure what to make of this whole situation. Even less when he asked which one I picked._

_I, nervously, looked back down at the page and pointed at a random one._

**_Ninetails._**

_A wind blew out of nowhere. A choir, a deathly, sickening choir, began to sing in the distance, that wind picking up harder and harder. I, however, was somehow glued in place, stuck staring at Giratina's glowing eyes._

_He opened his mouth. I thought it was the end._

_I closed my eyes._

_When I did, an excrutiating pain flooded my entire being._

_Next thing I know, it's over. Just like that. I open my eyes, and he's staring at me with those gigantic puppy-eyes._

_He says he's sorry if it hurt--he doesn't do this sort of thing often._

_I don't know what he means. Do this often? What--_

_...That's when I realize I'm standing on four legs._

_I thought I was going to be sucked into the 15th circle of the underworld, but no--HE TURNED ME INTO A POKÉMON._

_Now, in retrospect, I'm not complaining--it's actually quite nice._

_He said he released my Poké__mon into the wild._

_Then what does he do?_

_HE LEAVES._

_JUST. LIKE. THAT._

_I do **not **understand these things._

_But I hate those stupid dramatics. Yes, **DRAMATICS. **I asked him later about the choir and all that, and that's what he said. Dramatics. He then said that if I really **was **being taken to the underworld it would have been much, **much **worse._

_...I hope I never find out how much worse._

_As I said, this is one of my main questions that needs answers._

_I have many, many more._

_But I suppose that will have to wait._

_-Cyrus._

**Well, does that give more lore or what?**

**No, I know Cyrus wasn't turned into a Pokémon. But, do keep in mind that this is a fanfiction.**

**AND WHEN WERE FANFICS EVER CANNON?**

**But for real though, since this story _does _****have a plot somewhere, there's gotta be lore, right?**

**Gimme a vote here: I'm considering making these journal entries appear in random chapters, since they _could _be crucial to the plot. Would you guys want that?**

**Alright, next chappie: GUYS NIGHT!!!**

**Weird Pokémon fact: Mr. Mime (Yes, that thing) can be female. Ugh.**

**Welp, see ya next chappie!!!**


	6. Guys Night! (Part 1)

**Okay!! Who's ready to see a band of idiots out on the town?!**

**I sure am!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Dragonite would have a Mega-Evolution.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekenisis talk_."

**Guys Night! (Part 1)**

_O/O/O/O_

"_I cannot believe I let them talk me into this._"

Arceus moaned his musings to himself as he was dragged through the bustling steets of Celadon City.

"I'M TIRED OF WALKING!!" Rayquaza, in human form, screamed for everyone in a 10-mile radius to hear. "WILL YOU PEOPLE CALL AN UMBRE ALREADY?!?!"

"For the love of Arceus, SHUT UP!!!" Groudon screeched as he slapped the spiky green-haired boi.

Arceus facepalmed.

_*Whose dumb idea was it to make **me **an expression?!*_

"Cut it _out, _you two." Latios snapped between gritted teeth. "You're attracting a _lot _of attention to us."

The Hoenn Legendaries stopped arguing.

"...But seriously, somebody call an Umbre."

"NO, RAYQUAZA."

_O/O/O/O_

**_At the Casino..._**

"Where _are _they?!" Palkia groaned, slamming his glass on the table.

Giratina shrugged.

Victini looked between the two in confusion.

"So...what's with the wings? You're humans right now."

Giratina's back suddenly began to fluff and spazm underneath his hoodie, prompting the disguised Legendary to grab the sides of it and pull tighter.

Palkia looked back at his own pair, which he had tied down and painted over to blend in with his own hoodie.

"Not sure. They don't go away when we transform."

"Dia's lucky." Giratina murmured, still fighting with his concealed devilish attributes. "He doesn't have any."

"True, but that gem stays on his chest. _And _it glows."

"Eh, true."

Victini suddenly began waving at somebody in the casino.

"Coballion and Keldeo just got here!"

A few minutes later, an older-looking fellow and a younger-looking one arrived at the table.

"Hello Palkia, Giratina." Coballion greeted, bowing slightly.

''Sup." Keldeo grinned.

They both glared at the third boy.

"**Victini.**"

"Oh come on you two!! Is this about the Torkal Bell thing?"

"Dude." Keldeo snapped. "Everyone smelt it. _Arceus _smelt it. There were multiple ghosts rising up out of their _graves _because they smelt it."

"All those poor Shedinjas had to work overtime." Giratina sniffled. "Children are the hardest to guide in the first place. Getting them _back _to the afterlife is like getting Mew on coffee in bed. Plus, a good number of those little boys wanted to have stink bomb fights."

However, the devil's pleas went ignored as Keldeo and Victini continued to argue.

"At least _I _don't have a stupid horn that juts outta my head and doesn't go away when I transform!!"

"Hey!! The ladies dig this thing!! Plus, it not going away gives me an excuse to wear my wizard hat!!"

Coballion leaned to Palkia.

"We absolutely _cannot _convince him to wear anything else. No matter what outfit, no matter what situation, he wants to wear the wizard hat."

"Huh." The space god muttered.

Then, he noticed something.

"Hey, where's Terrakion? It _is _guy's night."

"He and Virizion _both _got sick yesterday. Fevers of 104. Luckily, they went down quite a bit, so all they need is some good rest and will be back up in due time. For now, they're at home binge-watching "Say No to the Tuxedo" and sleeping."

"Oh, okay."

Coballion examined the rest of the area they were in.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Arceus, Rayquaza, Groudon, and Latios ain't here yet, the Dogs are at that Voltorb Flip game--by the sounds of it, Raikou's failing miserably, Mewtwo's at the bar, Sogaleo's singing sad karaoke, Zapdos went to get s'more to drink but started flirting with a bunch of girls and we haven't seen him since, and Heatran is in the bathroom."

Coballion tilted his head to the side.

"Heatran is here? I thought he was a girl."

"She might be. Nobody knows."

"Not even Arceus?"

"If he does, he won't tell."

"This is...confusing."

"Tell me about it. But hey, woulda been rude not to invite 'im, y'know?"

"Yes. But Heatran _is _legitimately fun anyways."

"Truth."

The Unova Legendary adjusted his hat to make sure his horns were still concealed.

"So...is that all who will be joining us?"

"Yeah. Other guys either couldn't make it or we didn't ask."

"We can all guess the three who weren't asked, hm?"

"Yep."

Suddenly, four more figures staggered over to the area.

"There you guys are!! what took you so long?!"

"Well, if _certain people _would have just called an Umbre--"

"For the love of everything holy, Rayquaza, shut up!! You can fly around all you want later!!"

Latios dragged a hand down his face.

"I need a drink."

He dragged himself over to the bar and plopped down next to Mewtwo.

As they began miserably chattering, Arceus gave a concerned look to Giratina. Said Pokémon was still struggling with his wings.

"_Are you alright_?"

"Wings! Won't! Hold! Still!"

Arceus, perplexed, tried to help him.

This resulted in them _both _getting hurled out of the window.

The rest stood there, **staring, **when Latios came over and tapped on Rayquaza's shoulder.

"Mewtwo and I made a bet with Zapdos." He explained. "I need you to come settle it."

"Oh? What's in it for me?"

"A good word with my sister."

That disguised snake was over at the bar in ten seconds flat.

Raikou had given up at the Voltorb game, and he was currently at the slot machines.

...He almost immediately broke out into Orange Justice.

"WHAT THE _HECK _MAN." Entei recoiled in horror.

"I just hit _five _jackpots in a row baby!! I'm on fiiiiiiiiiiiire!!"

"Good. Now buy us all dinner." Suicune ordered, rounding a corner.

"What?! Why me?!"

"You won the money, you did the dance."

"Ugh, fine." The electric 'mon whirled around, whistling to the others.

"C'mon ya'll!! We're bailing to get some grub!! On me!!"

**Okay, not very eventful, but that's because it's only just begun. What's coming will be _plenty _entertaining ;)**

**What do _you _think will happen?**

**Umbre: Uber**

**Say No to the Tuxedo: Say Yes to the Dress**

**Weird Pokémon fact: Clefairy was almost the mascot of the series. No joke.**

**Welp, see ya next chappie!!**


	7. Guys Night! (Part 2)

**Hey guys!! Ready for the next chap?**

**AJ: *Crosses arms in X symbol* WAKANDA FOREVA!!!**

**PK: Huh. That's strange.**

**Ri2: GUYS NIGHT!!!**

**Okay, quick note: Since they're all disguised as humans for the majority of these chapters, there won't be any telekinisis talk.**

**Well, without further adeu...**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

**Guys Night, Part 2**

_O/O/O/O_

**In Sinnoh...**

"So, it's a fancy restaurant where you can battle?"

"Yep." Giratina replied as the group walked along the route. "But, luckily, Heatran pulled a few strings and we'll get a private booth towards the back."

"Nice, Heatran." Groudon complimented, Heatran nodding its head in response.

Sogaleo began to bawl his eyes out.

"LUNALA AND I ALWAYS MAKE OUT IN THE BOOTHS AT DAVE AND CLOYSTERS!!!"

As everyone facepalmed, Rayquaza backhanded the dummy.

"GET A GRIP, DUMMY!!"

My point exactly.

As they rounded the side of the mountain, everyone froze.

"...What."

No seriously, _what. _

"WHO BUILDS _FENCES LIKE THAT?!_"

EXACTLY!!

So, yes, our unfortunate protagonists have stumbled upon Sinnoh's resident what-even-are-these-fences area. Route 222, if I'm correct.

Mewtwo facepalmed.

"The stupidity of the humans who build these fences knows no bounds."

Victini had fallen to his knees, wailing unto the heavens.

Arceus snorted.

"Oh my, some whacky fences. What shall I, the creator of such complex organisms such as humans, do?"

**5 minutes later...**

Okay, so you know how there are small spaces between the poles on a fence that are, like, really small?

Arceus somehow managed to get himself wedged and weaved like a worm between multiple links, looking like a peice of yarn gone wrong.

The other males were rolling on the ground, laughing.

"WILL YOU MISERABLE MISCREANTS QUIT GUFFAWING AND _HELP ME?!_."

"How did you even _do _that?!" Keldeo snorted, pointing at the other.

"GET. ME. OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUT!!!"

As everyone laughed and giddily made fun of their creator's predicament, Zapdos' watery eyes drifted around.

They suddenly locked on something a little ways away.

"HOLY SMOKES LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!"

The disguised bird then proceeded to jump on the fence and _launch _himself over all the fences and over the ledge, dissapearing from sight.

"What just happened?" Giratina questioned.

"I believe I saw a trainer walking an Arcanine earlier." Coballion gestured with his head to where the electric bird had gone.

A resounding "Ooooooh." came from the other males.

Mewtwo gave an eye-roll, beginning to weave his way throughout the fences while the others were distracted in trying to free Arceus.

_O/O/O/O_

Once he finally got through both areas of fences and on top of the hill, Mewtwo found Zapdos nutcasedly petting a random trainer's Arcanine, who was on a leash and panting. Said trainer was very uncomfortable.

Walking up behind him, Mewtwo grabbed the disguised bird by the hood and dragged him away.

"I apologize for my friend's inconvenience." He said to the trainer, who hurriedly escaped.

"Hey!! Why are ya--"

"Because _you're _being stupid. As usual."

Releasing his companion, the disguised clone was soon being poked in the chest by a screaming lunatic.

"IT WAS ARCANINE!!_ ARCANINE!!!_"

"You and your obsession with a dumb dog."

"HOW _DARE _YOU!!"

As the bickering continued, the rest of their lot came up over the hill.

Arceus was covered in splinters, which he was picking out.

"Well then." Coballion grimaced. "May we agree to never speak of that horrid experience ever again?"

"**Agreed.**" All those who had been involved replied.

Suddenly, Heatran nudged Rayquaza.

"Hm?"

The silent Legendary gestured toward the group.

It held up a number of fingers and changed it.

"Wait, someone's missing?"

A nod was its reply.

Glancing around the group, it hit him.

Facepalming, he called out to the others.

"Guys, we lost Keldeo!!"

_O/O/O/O_

"So what you're saying is, is that you've been digging this tunnel, _by yourself, _because...actually, why ya doin' that again?"

"THE UNKNOWN. AND MONEY."

"Huh, okay then."

The disguised unicorn stood at the end of a long tunnel, the man with a pickaxe next to him smashing away.

"Keldeo!!!"

The angry voice echoed in the cavern, alerting about...say...7,000 Zubats.

...3, 2, 1...

_O/O/O/O_

Keldeo came bursting from the cave, panting and screeching.

A hoard of Zubats followed along, swarming and filling the night sky, blanketing it in their masses.

Once it had passed, Keldeo caught up with the other Legendaries, and they continued towards the restaurant.

_O/O/O/O_

"Well. That was...suprisingly good."

Palkia looked at Arceus.

"Whaddya mean, ''suprisingly"? I thought fancy schmancy places like this are supposed to have good food."

"That's what they want you to think."

Heatran quietly slipped away towards the bathrooms, and everyone else began rubbing their hands together and cackling.

Arceus raised a brow.

"Ain't no unisex in 'ere, Paps." Zapdos replied, small sparks of electricity coming from his hand-rubbing. "We checked on the way in."

Arceus rolled his eyes, returning to watch Heatran's predicament.

Entei silently pulled out a camera and began filming.

Heatran finally reached the bathrooms. It stopped, looking around in slight confusion.

Once realizing the predicament, panic overtook the disguised Legendary.

Placing a hand to its chin, it began to pace.

At one point, it went towards the Ladies' Room, reached the door, stopped, went to the Men's, stopped, and went back to pacing. This cycle continued.

Back at the table, the others were practically in tears, and Arceus facepalmed.

"Heatran, for goodness sake...it's a bathroom, not the end of the world..."

His muttering attracted some attention from the others, and Latios turned to him.

"Hey Arceus."

"Hm?"

"Do...do you know Heatran's _actual _gender?"

"Of course I do." Arceus snorted. "I'm not a fool, unlike the rest of you."

All heads at the table snapped his way.

"I'm not going to tell, if _that__'s _what your thinking."

Before anyone could reply, the sound of a window shattering rang throughout the restaurant.

All heads whipped back towards the bathrooms, where Heatran was absent, the window was broken, and some fat dude was yelling for some more toilet paper.

Arceus facepalmed.

_O/O/O/O_

Heatran was rolling down the hill.

After rolling _up_ a giant boulder, it went flying onto the route, rolling towards Sunyshore city.

The others proceeded to chase it.

"Heatran!! Dude!! What the heck!! It was just a bathroom!!" Palkia screeched, flapping his wings to try and run faster.

"That's two windows we've broken tonight!!" Victini cheered.

"Why are you _counting_?!" Groudon shrieked, running very akwardly because his massive tail was wrapped around his bulky body under his hoodie in order to conceal it.

Eventually, they _did _enter the city.

Heatran went rolling up a set of stairs--ouch--and onto the solar panels, tumbling all the while.

The others winced as it went up, but continued the chase nonetheless.

...And this is where our story crashes and burns (if it hasn't already).

Giratina, in his running, stepped on a rather weak panel, causing him to fall through.

He went crashing through the roof of a little old lady's house, who stopped her knitting and adjusted her glasses.

Unfortunately, his hoodie had snagged on the panels and come off, allowing his massive, dark wings to fan out.

"Oh, hello dear!" The old lady quipped. "My, it's been so long since I've had some company!! Here, come with me. I have some cookies in the oven."

Girarina just couldn't say no.

_O/O/O/O_

"Guys!! Giratina fell!!" Palkia shouted, turning around.

However, just as he did, _h__is _solar panel broke, causing him to fall.

He hit the ground with a hard _Crunch, _leaving a small crater.

"He's gonna feel that in the morning." Victini stated.

Suddenly, the entire _section _of solar panels caved in, taking a majority of the group with it.

However, they all fell into the water.

Several managed to get back to shore, but others weren't so lucky...

As Rayquaza, Groudon, Victini, and Coballion tried to get back, an unholy amount of tentacles wrapped around them, dragging them under.

A wet arceus facepalmed.

"This is why I hate Tentacruel."

A murmur of agreement came from the others.

_O/O/O/O_

Back up on the panels, only Zapdos and Mewtwo remained to try and catch the rolling stone and lava Legendary.

"OKAY!! THAT'S IT!!"

Mewtwo became concerned at that statement.

"Zapdos--"

Beflre he could finish, Zapdos was in his natural form, unleashing a mighty battle cry unto the Heavens.

He shot off after Heatran, surrounding himself in electricity in order to go faster.

Mewtwo reluctantly changed as well, in order to catch up with them.

Heatran went smashing through the side of a panel, soaring through the window of the Gym.

Zapdos followed, smashing though another window.

Down below, Victini managed to get his head above water for a split second.

"THATS FOUR!!"

He was promptly pulled back under.

Mewtwo burst through the door of the Gym.

What he found was Zapdos, mid-air, unintentionally absorbing the radiated energy.

Then it hit Mewtwo.

_*This is an electric type Gym. Zapdos is a living Magnet.*_

_*Sh--*_

_O/O/O/O_

The explosion had been tremendous, causing another city-wide blackout.

The group had managed to get back together, and were slowly but surely making their way up the Hall of Origin's steps.

"I feel like we forgot something." Coballion expressed.

"Did we?" Suicune wondered, looking back.

"Wait." Raikou realized.

"Where's Giratina?"

_O/O/O/O_

"So...sorry about your roof."

"It's no problem, dearie."

**Finally, that's finished!!**

**Welp, Guy's Night was a total disaster, no?** **Sorry if it seemed a tad rushed.**

**Weird Pokemon fact of the day: Arcanine almost became a Legendary. He went along with the bird trio, but got replaced by Moltrés. Hence, why in the second anime episode, he was on the set of stone tablets with them!**

**Well, guess I'll see ya guys next chappie!!**


	8. Ignore the Pronunciation

**Hey guys!! Ready for another chap of ya faaaaaaaaaaavorite story? (Insert laughing emoji here)**

**Seriously though, sorry updates are slow. But, there are two explanations for that:**

**1) Life.**

**2) Writers block still exists.**

**Okay! Starting now!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinisis Talk_."

**Ignore the Pronunciation**

_O/O/O/O_

**Somewhere in Kalos...**

Yveltal.

A majestic beast.

Chaos and destruction incarnate. Able to destroy an entire region in seconds.

Red and black reflecting in the sun/moonlight, bathing the world in the shadow of great might.

...Currently taking her afternoon nap on some random Bug-Catcher's roof in the middle of the woods.

Snoring, the Widowbird shifted in her sleep, causing the cabin's weak roof to cave in further.

"_Yveltal? YVELTAL!!!_"

Jolting upright, the massive Y-bird let out a screech, destroying all trees in a 10-mile radius.

Whipping her head in all directions, the massive Legendary squacked.

"What?! Can't you see I'm napping here?!?!"

Her thick accent laced each word, emphasising her fustration.

"_You **clearly **aren't anymore. And you can stop whipping your head around like that; I'm down here._"

Looking down, Yveltal found a small, green blob-like creature on the roof in front of her.

She rolled her eyes.

"Hello, Squishy."

The green bacterium glared at her.

"_Zy__ra__ wishes to see you. She sent me as a messenger._"

Perking up at the mention of her green friend, Yveltal questioned the blob further.

"Oh? What about?"

"_I don't know. **Normally **I wouldn't care, but if it involves **you, **I wish to keep an eye out._"

Rolling her eyes again, the Dark/Flying Legendary flicked him away with her wingtips.

Spreading her wings, she took off towards Zygarde's home.

A Bug-Catcher returned a few minutes later to find that his roof had been destroyed.

"OH COME ON!!! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH!!!"

_O/O/O/O_

Entering Terminus Cave, the female Legendary headed towards where Zygarde usually was.

She gave a curt nod and greeting to any Zygarde Cells she came across, them being scattered about.

"Yveltal!!"

Doing a 180, the Aura Legendary beamed at the sight of her friend running to her in her 10% forme. Her bodyguard, Greninja, followed a little ways behind.

Yveltal beamed.

"Zyra!!"

The two embraced.

Once broken apart, the Zygarde changed into her 50% forme.

"_I take it Squishy managed to find you??_"

"Yes. He wasn't very happy about it, either."

Zyra rolled her eyes.

"_He's never happy about anything._"

Keeling her head around, the green dragon yelled to her bodygaurd.

"_Greninja, don't just stand there!! Come say hi!! Yveltal doesn't bite._"

Silently coming over, the blue Pokémon gave a bow of greeting.

Yveltal nodded in response.

"So," She began, addressing Zyra, "what did you want to see me about?? Squishy made it sound urgent."

Z-2 remembered suddenly.

"Oh yeah!! Wait right here."

Changing back into 10%, she sprinted off.

Upon returning, the dog-like creature had with her two ancient-looking, golden-clad swords.

Dropping them to the ground, she changed back into 50% and explained.

"_These are from Napoleon Braixaparté's reign of terror!!_"

The (totally not French) Legendary's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?!"

"_Of course_!!"

Tossing her friend a sword, the Pokémon wagged her massive tail.

"_I want you to have one!!_"

Yveltal's eyes lit up.

"You are too kind, Zyra."

Then, as if by magic, Squishy showed up.

"_Yes yes, she is **very **kind. Speaking of which, now that you've recieved such kindness, shouldn't you be going, **Yeeveeteel?**_"

Zyra recoiled.

"_SQUISHY!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU TWO DON'T GET ALONG, BUT DON'T PRONOUNCE-_"

"**RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!**"

_O/O/O/O_

**2 hours later...**

"_...Her name wrong."_

Half the Kalos Region was currently destroyed, a fuming Yveltal having unleashed her unholy rage upon it.

Said bird had eventually calmed down enough to decide that she was going to Sinnoh.

...Then angrily destroyed some more of Kalos before going.

Both Zygarde Cores stood in their 10% formes on top of a hill overlooking the Region.

Zyra glared at Squishy.

He gave a nervous, dry laugh.

_O/O/O/O_

**In the Hall of Origin...**

"-AND FOR THE LOVE OF _YOU, _HOW HARD IS IT TO PRONOUNCE "YVELTAL"?! NOT THAT HARD, I'D SAY!!!"

Arceus, sipping his tea, nodded once more to Yveltal's angry ranting.

"_For once, I can understand your anger._" He agreed. "_Honestly, do you know how many people mispronounce "Arceus"? Alot, that's for sure. It's very annoying._"

"EXACTLY!!!" The she-mon screeched, throwing chair #47 at the wall.

It soon joined the other 46 in the massive pile of splinters.

Finally having worn herself out, she dragged over to the massive table and flopped down across from Arceus.

Laying her head on it, she released a heavy sigh.

"You mad I destroyed half of Kalos again?"

"_...Not really, no. Besides, Xerneas will fix it._"

"Ugh. _Zerneas._"

Arceus couldn't help but shake his head; Yveltal absolutely _despised _her counterpart, and nobbody was really sure why.

Even worse, Xerneas was absolutely smitten, unbeknowest to her.

"But really though," She continued, as Arceus refilled both their teas, "Why are our names so hard to pronounce?"

"_I have no true answer for that._" The Pokémon god replied.

Deciding not to question why he didn't, Yeetval sipped her tea.

"What is this kind?? I don't recall having it."

"_Rare Candy. I know you prefer Protein, but I'm all out._"

"It's very good, at least."

"_My favorite._"

Arthritus then went into deep thought.

"..._You know what? Apparently, there are a lot of Pokémon with oddly-pronounced names._"

"Oh, you think?" Whyfeetal joked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Arthritus shrugged.

"_Oh well. Too late to change it now._"

**I know this one's a bit shorter than others, but hey, at least it's out, right?**

**So, how do _you _pronounce Arthritus and Yeetval/Whyfeetal's names?**

**WPFOTD: Ivysaur is the only Gen 1 Pokémon whose name starts with the letter "l".**

**...Lol, gotcha. While this fact is true, Ivysaur's name starts with a capital "I", not a lowercase "L". ;)**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	9. Ship Carefully, Young Apprentice

**Hey guys!! Glad you could make it!!**

**Ri2: Yeah, poor guy can catch a Caterpie, but he can't catch a break.**

**AJ: Thanks so much!!**

**MegaMothim: Welp, at least your wifi works now, huh?**

**On your Mew theory, I'd say you're...40% correct.**

**lukekriebs: YEEVEELTTAL and ARCHKEUS.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, we'd've had a new anime protagonist a LONG time ago. I don't own any of the songs adapted here, either.**

**So tell me, how do you guys feel about love triangles??**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Ship Carefully, Young Apprentice**

**O/O/O/O**

Dinner was quite hectic today.

Somehow, _everybody _had managed to show up at the Hall of Origin, promting Arceus to go and buy migrane medication in advance.

...Well, everybody but Dialga. We still can't find him.

...And, of course, Deoxys is being a space hermit.

...Who _really _expected the Genies to show up anyhow?

_Anyways, _so far we have 8 broken chandeliers, the kitchen is on fire, Groudon, Kyogre, Zekrom, Moltrés, and Keldeo all got food poisioning, and some idiot spiked the lemonade, causing a bunch of Legendaries to get drunk. And by some mysterious force (let's be honest here it was probably Mew) a karaoke machine appeared out of nowhere.

...You can see where this is going.

"LEMME SING IT LIKE OH-OH, OH-OH, PARTY TILL THE SUN COMES UP!!!! OH-OH OH-OH, PARTY AT MY PARENT'S CHATEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"

All sober (and several non-sober) ears in the room were covered during Latios's horrible rendition of the song, his sister laughing so hard she almost collapsed her lungs.

Shaymin, curled up in his hedgehog form, forelegs wrapped around his head, turned to her.

"I thought you said he was a good singer!!!"

"I said _usually!!!_ Bwahahaha!!!"

The flowery rodent rolled his eyes, looking across the room.

He began staring at Mew.

...Of course. Who else?

_*Look at her. She's sooooooooo piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink...and niiiiiiiiiiiiiice...and smells greeeeeeaaaaaaat..._*

"Uh...you know you said all that out loud, right??"

Snapping back into reality, Shaymin placed his attention back on the Eon twin next to him.

"Er...I did??"

"Yeah. You have a habit of that. Y'know, thinkin' out loud?"

Blushing slightly, he looked away.

"...Oh."

Glancing at Mew, Latias grinned.

"I ship you two, by the way."

Shaymin jumped, not only from Latios' mike drop, but also from Latias's statement.

"Wha--ship us?! _What_?!"

"Y'know, silly!! When you pair people together and think they'd make a good couple!!"

"I know what shipping _is_!!"

"Oh, goodie!!"

Glancing at Mew again, Latias grinned even further.

"And, I mean, you _clearly _think that's a good pairing, no??"

Shaymin's face was redder than Groudon.

...Who was laughing and puking at the same time in one of the 4,567 bathrooms.

"I--er--"

"And besides, if you like her, she might like you!!"

That got his attention.

"Wait, ya think?"

"Totally!!"

He immediately began grinning.

"You know Lats, you can be pretty clever sometimes."

"I know."

Suddenly, a new song began, and the two looked to see Mewtwo and Zapdos, drunk as heck, arms/wings wrapped around each other's necks, singing a duet.

"_IF I WERE TO REMAIN, I WOULD ONLY BE IN YOUR PAAAAAAAAAATH!!!!_"

"SO I'LL GOOOOOOOOOO, BUT I KNOOOOOOOOOOW..."

"_I'LL THINK OF YOU EVERY STEP OF THE JOURNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!_

"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--"

"_WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!_"

"**YOU, MY DARLING, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!**"

Articuno had a wing covering her face in shame, whilst a food-poisioned Moltrés lay on the ground, completely delirious.

"Oh hello there, sweeeeeeeetcheeeeks...you like my feeeeeeaaaaatheeeeers???"

Latias was in tears laughing, whilst Shaymin facepalmed.

"The fact that those two practically hate each other makes this even worse."

Entei happened to walk past at that exact moment, filming the disaster.

"Yeah, but it sure makes great blackmail!!"

"...Can't argue there."

Latias, wiping her eyes, addressed the rodent once more.

"Okay, since I have a fellow shipper here..."

"I wouldn't really call myself a shipper--"

She ignored his pleas.

"Who do you think is better for Mewtwo?? Articuno or Genesect??"

This took Shaymin by suprise.

"Erm...Articuno or Genesect??"

"Yeah!! I mean, Genesect and Mewtwo would toooooooootally make sense; plus, everyone knows Genesect has a thing for Mewtwo. But I'm preeeeeeeeeetty sure Mewtwo has a thing for Articuno."

Looking back at the horribly singing duo, Shaynin pondered this information.

"...Lemme get back to you on that one."

"Aw, okay then. Here's another one: Entei and Azelf or Entei and Moltrés??"

"Uh...hm. That's a tough cookie. I mean, it would make more sense for Entei and Moltrés, considering they're both fire types, but Azelf is so chill and laid back, and Entei is kinda quiet and respectful..."

"I know, right? Ayugh...okay, how's this one: Mespirit and Raikou?"

Shaymin tapped his chin.

"...Yeah, I see that one. They're both wild and crazy."

"Thank you!!! Okay, here we go: Uxie and Suicune."

"...Honestly, I don't really see that one."

Latias looked at him, confused.

"You don't??"

"Nah, not really. I see Uxie with...Heatran."

"Heatran??"

"Yeah."

"Really? I mean, we don't even know Heatran's gender..."

"So??"

The female dragon pondered this.

"Eh, I guess we'll have to wait and see!"

"Okay Latias, here's one for you: Darkrai and Cresselia."

Latias smirked.

"Uh, like, shipped three years ago!!"

"Good. Now: Kyogre and Groudon."

"Um, of _course_!!"

"Zekrom and Reshiram??"

"_Duh_!!"

Looking around to make sure they weren't being watched, Latias lowered her voice.

"Okay, here's an...interesting one..."

Shaymin leaned in closer.

"...MissingNo and Latios, or MissingNo and Keldeo??"

Shaymin cocked his head to the side.

"...What??"

"Well...they both like her, so..."

He blinked.

"...Huh."

For a moment, they turned their heads to watch another Karaoke performance.

"I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEECKING OOOOOOOOOOORB!!!!!"

The worst part about _this _performance was that while Giratina belted out his lungs, Palkia was Fortnite dancing as the Regis used Morse Code to beatbox.

Cyrus, on a leash, chained to a nearby wall, lay on his stomach with a paw over his eyes. An empty bottle of Jack Diglett's lie next to him.

"Somebody kill me..."

Turning back to Shaymin, Latios warned him of something.

"By the way, Victini likes Mew."

"WAIT WHAT--"

**Yup.**

**This chappie was meant to kinda give everybody a feel for the ships in this story. Granted, this didn't contain ALL of them, comsidering we have so many Legendaries, but I figured it's good enough to start with.**

**Anout that last part, I ship Onion Fairy and Broken Window Counter, but I like love triangles. If you didn't notice.**

**I'm Latias in every aspect of shipping.**

**WPFOTD: Diglett was the first Pokémon ever made, Rhydon was the first ever added to the Pokédex, and Bulbasaur is #1 in said Pokédex.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	10. Why Dost Thou Screecheth?

**HEY GUYS!!! GUESS WHAT?!?! _I'M ON SPRING BREAK!!! FINALLY!!!_**

***Inhales* Wooh, the _best _feeling in the world is turning off that alarm for 6 am!!**

**Anyways, let's see what ya'll had to say 'bout last chappie!!**

**Ri2: Thanks!! I'm pretty good at finding extremly odd pairings and making them work XD.**

**SerpentFeather: Thank you so much!! That means a lot :)**

**PK: You haven't met him yet because he's dead.**

**lukekriebs: Eeeeeey, I was wondering if anybody would notice Cyrus.**

**...And to be fair, dude, you _always _have a problem with Fortnite dances. ;-)**

**ONTO THA STORÉ!!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Tekekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, the GS Ball ****mystery would've been solved a long time ago.**

**O/O/O/O**

"AAAAAAAA**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!_**."

The Hall of Origin shook violently, Arceus falling out of his chair.

Rayquaza, who had been daydreaming about Latias, jumped as well, hitting his head on the ceiling.

When the Legendaries received their bearings, they entered the hallway to see what--or rather, _who--_the problem was.

Pushing the door open with his head, the snake Legendary floated out.

"Hm...don't see anybody."

"_That's strange._" Arceus replied.

Suddenly, another scream, this one even louder and more violent, shook the Legend's home again.

Arceus stumbled, as he had been standing instead of levitating like usual; Rayquaza merely lost balance whilst floating.

Once it stopped, the two picked themselves up again.

"_Okay...let's split up. You look in the North and East wings, and I'll check the South and West."_

Rayquaza nodded, and so they went.

_O/O/O/O_

Arceus trotted down a corridor, searching for anyone that might be screeching like a madmon.

He opened every door he came across, leaving no metaphorical stone unturned.

So far, nothing.

Another scream echoed, this time shattering all the windows.

Arceus fell, covering his non-existent ears.

"_What in the **blazes...**_"

When the surge was over, he stood again, wagging his head back and forth.

_O/O/O/O_

Rayquaza fared no better, zipping through his search.

He was _extremely _eager to find and shut up whatever was making that blasted noise.

As the screeching continued to surge at random, Rayquaza became more infuriated, blasting doors down with Hyper Beam to _get it **over **with._

_O/O/O/O_

Eight hours.

Eight, long, _excrutiating _hours.

The screaming had eventually hit a point where, instead of stopping and restarting, it now stayed in one long, neverending scream.

They had searched everything. They had torn apart every room, every loose tile; heck, they even checked _the rest of Mt. Coronet _just to find this thing.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Arceus and Rayquaza were both stretched out on the floor of the Dining Hall, breathing heavily.

"What...is happening...to us??" Rayquaza barely exhaled.

"_I don't know and I'm too tired to care._" Arceus replied.

The Llama God and Ozone Layer Snake ended up falling asleep, right there, having horrible nightmares about the neverending screaming.

_O/O/O/O_

**3 Days Later...**

Pounding.

Their heads were pounding from the screaming.

It hadn't stopped. It was still screaming, that long, meverending scream.

Both had bags under their eyes so thick that you could carry everybody on earth x10's groceries in them. Their eyes were pure bloodshot, pupils uncontrolled; Arceus' right eye seemed unable to cease it's twitching.

Neither were alive enough to bother levitating; heck, they could barely walk!

Rayquaza, shaking, attempted to pour some coffee; he stared straight ahead, unseeing.

Arceus sat on his rump, he too staring dead ahead and shaking uncontrollably.

The coffee pot slipped from Rayquaza's jittering jold, the cracked glass shattering all over the floor.

...Well crud. That was the only glass thin _not _broken in the Hall of Origin.

Speaking of which, a good deal of which had been destroyed, the rest just plain trashed.

Suddenly, the door fell off.

Three very confused--and wincing--Legendary dogs entered.

"Who is _screaming so loud?!_." Raikou complained, wagging his head back and forth.

Suicune, rubbing his temples, looked at the two sleep-deprived Legendaries.

"...I'm guessing _that__'s _why 60% of the place is destroyed."

Suddenly, Entei dodged a Judgement attack from Arceus.

"What the--"

"SCREAMING. HATRED. VAST DISCOMFORT. SCREAMING. BUTNING. HEADACHE. VAST DISCOMFORT."

As the ominous chanting continued, the three dogs slowly backed out of the room to go get help.

_O/O/O/O_

"--VAST DISCOMFORT--"

"Yes dears, that's nice. Now lay down..."

Ho-oh and Lugia currently had Arceus and Rayquaza in Lugia's underwater home, _far away _from the Hall of Origin.

The two were currently trying to calm Llama God and Ozone Layer Snake down enough to get them to sleep.

"I swear, whoever's screaming is going to get whipped when I find them." Lugia hissed, ducktaping Rayquaza down to the bed.

"Amen." Ho-oh agreed with her boyfriend.

_O/O/O/O_

Suicune, Entei, Raikou, Victini, Lunala, and Xerneas were currently searching the remains of the Hall of Origin.

Each were wearing earmuffs in an attempt to drown out the screaming, but to no avail.

"_What in the name of the devils..._" Xerneas complained, wagging his head back and forth.

Lunala was suddenly stricken with an idea.

"_Wait!! Solgaleo's secret bathroom_!!"

They all looked at her in confusion.

"_He has a secret bathroom under his bed," _She explained, "_He sealed it off a while back because the toilet broke and he wasn't sure how to fix it._ _Plus, the secret would be out._"

Hence, they all headed off to Solgaleo's 'room'.

_O/O/O/O_

Sure enough, under Solgaleo's bed, Lunala was able to break away 3/4 of 3 different tiles and place the pieces into the shape of a backwards pentagram and dump a vile of milk onto it, unlocking the entryway.

The others stared at her.

"_What? Solley has his own way of doing things._"

As they entered, Entei muttered under his breath.

"What a waste of some perfectly good milk..."

_O/O/O/O_

Upon reaching the actual bathroom, everyone's (save Lunala) jaws dropped.

It was extremely extravagent, marble walls with jade designs and marble pillars.

Each appliance, such as the sinks (Yes, that's _plural_), bathtubs (Pluraaaaaaal), and toliet were made of pure crystal.

The toilet itself had a heater, recliner, cupholders, and self-cleaning feature, plus there was a TV right across from it.

"...I could literally live down here." Raikou commented.

Xerneas suddenly realized that the floor was covered in water.

"_How unpleasant._'' He commented, lifting a hoof.

They then realized that the source of the screaming was coming from behind one of the bathroom curtains.

Lunala flew over and tore it open.

"_SOLGALEO_!!!!"

The white lion was pressed up against the wall, towel wrapped around his waist, water still going, and pointing at something, screaming.

Lunala followed his gaze to a fluff on the side of the tub.

Picking it up, she flicked it away.

The screaming immediately stopped.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE!!! YOU KILLED THE SPIDER!!" He exclaimed, throwing his forelegs around her.

Everyone else facepalmed.

**...Don't ask me what this chapter was, 'cause I don't really know. It came to me and I wrote it.**

**WPFOTD: 85% of people who play Sun/Moon end up naming their Cosmog Nebby.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	11. Let's Make a Deal

**Hey guys!** **Ready for more?**

**AJ: Yeah, it felt like that to me, too. And I appreciate the fact that you said it positively :) The next chappies'll be better, promise.**

**PK: All shall be revealed in due time, young child ;)**

**Mega: Here, I guess if I didn't explain the end of _Legend's Beginning _well enough, I'll just tell ya now:**

**Arceus's mother, a Mew, ends up dying at the end of the fic. Right before/as she does, she creates the egg with the two Mews in it. They are _not _reincarnations of her; they're completely different Mews, but still _Mews._**

**Like I said last chappie, the male Mew (Blue) is dead (You'll have to keep reading to find out why!), and female Mew (Pink) is the one that's alive in this fic.**

**I'll just say this now: MISSINGNO IS NOT RELATED TO THE MEWS. SHE HAS HER OWN BACKSTORY THAT _I WILL GET TO LATER!! EVERYBODY BE PATIENT!!!_**

**And yes, both fics take place in the same universe. I ain't Scott Cawthon ;)**

**IcyNirvana? Never heard of them.**

**Thanks for your opinions on the ships; might help later on.**

**Dialga isn't traveling through time; he doesn't do that very often because he doesn't wanna mess anything up. (At least in _my _story!!)**

**Don't worry, Deoxys will be here soon enough.**

**Firelord: Crap, I actually _forgot_ about her. Thanks!!!**

**lukekriebs: Every time I find a ball of hair on the floor (Me and my sister both have VERY curly hair) and I don't have my glasses on I think it's a spider. No joke. So Solgaleo's reaction is based off of my many experiences in the shower.**

**Ri2: Where you at, buddy??**

**Let's get started!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, I would go around and declare random Fanfics as Cannon.**

**O/O/O/O**

Victini clutched his stomach.

Keeling over, he began to gasp, pupils dilating.

"Torkal Bell finally catchin' up to ya?" Keldeo teased, prancing around in the open meadow.

"No..." Victini whispered.

"Windows...so many windows..."

Keldeo halted his prancing, turning the the smaller Legendary.

"Um...what??"

"SO MANY BROKEN WINDOWS!!!" The taco-obsessed Pokémon screamed, launching into the air.

"I MUST COUNTETH THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!!!!!!!"

He then launched himself in the direction of the Hall of Origin.

Keldeo stood there, staring.

"...What the heck."

_O/O/O/O_

"Okay...this should work..."

Rayquaza clutched the bouquét of flowers in his claws, trying to make it look as pretty as possible.

He added all of Latias's favorites: Orchids, Lavender, and Daisies. He even added a few Tiger Lillies, as he recalled her saying they were pretty once.

Inhaling, he began flying towards the Eon Twin's home.

_O/O/O/O_

Latias was swinging, laughing giddly.

Giving herself enough momentum, she launched herself into the stream, splashing into the water.

Bursting into the air, she inhaled, then laughed again.

"Good morning, Latias."

Looking up, she found a smiling Rayquaza looking down at her, some unkown gleam in his eye. His claws were secured behind his back.

"Oh!! Hi Rayquaza!!"

Jumping out of the water, she shook off before addressing him again.

"Whatcha doin' here??"

He grinned.

"Well, dear, I came to see you. I wanted to give you these."

He pulled the bouquét out from behind his back, extending it to her.

She gasped, taking them.

"Oh, for me!! Thank you!!"

Examining them, she grinned even harder.

"They're all my favorites!! Thanks, Ray!!"

She hugged his lower torso,nearly causing the Ozone Layer Snake to pass out.

"Your wel--"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"

Separating, both heads whipped around to find Bianca, pointing at Rayquaza, screaming like a madwoman.

Before anyone could blink, she pulled out a shotgun, firing at everything in sight.

Latias shrieked, diving into the water; Rayquaza took off, dissapearing into the clouds.

When Bianca finally got her bearings, she dropped the gun and fell to her knees, panting.

Latias poked her head out of the water to find that everything in sight was either covered in bullet holes or completely destroyed.

She slowly dissapeared back underwater.

_O/O/O/O_

**1 Hour Later...**

Rayquaza sat on a random island in the middle of the ocean, face in his claws, moping.

_*And I was so close, too..._*

Suddenly, the water swirled, a massive head poking out of it.

Rayquaza drowsily moved his head to see.

"Hello, Kyogre."

He then returned to his moping.

The blue whale Pokémon tilted her head to the side.

Ozone Layer Snake sighed.

"I took Latias some flowers this morning. It was all going great, until her stupid friend showed up and started shooting at everything!!!"

He grumbled.

"The minute I _finally _get the courage to ask her out, _this _happens..."

Kyogre gave a whistle.

"I doubt it."

A series of clicks.

"...You think so??"

Another whistle.

"I guess you're right. Today may not have been the day, but another day will be!!"

He took to the air triumphantly.

"Thanks, Kyogre!!"

He then skyrocketed away.

...Then immediately came back, only to find Kyogre was gone.

"...Well. I'm completely lost."

_O/O/O/O_

Latios facepalmed.

While this was not the weirdest thing he had ever come home to, it was certainly not the most pleasant.

Looking at Bianca, he picked up the shotgun and snapped it in half.

Pulling out a few bullets, he tossed them in his mouth and chewed.

The human stared in shock.

He swallowed the hunks of metal, causing her to faint.

Turning to the stream, he called out to his sister.

"You can come out now, Latias. She's unconscious."

Latias emerged from the stream, soaking wet.

Shaking herself dry, the Eon twin frowned at the human.

"That was pretty rude of her."

Latios facepalmed again.

_O/O/O/O_

"So, you tried to ask my sister out yesterday??"

Latios and Rayquaza were in the Dining Hall of the newly-rebuilt Hall of Origin.

Rayquaza scratched the back of his head.

"The key word there is 'tried'."

Latios gave a grim nod.

"I'm sorry about Bianca."

Ozone Layer Snake shrugged.

"Meh. Humans get scared. I've honestly had worse reactions; I was just bummed because it ruined my chance with Latias."

"Well, maybe we can fix that."

The dragon looked at the other dragon in confusion.

"Oh??"

"Let's make a deal."

Latios leaned in, lowering his voice.

"I like MissingNo. You like my sister. Two heads are better than one; you help me, I'll help you. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

He extended a claw.

Rayquaza grinned, shaking it.

"Deal."

_O/O/O/O_

"And so, the entire total came out to 10,395 windows!!! Add that to the 4 we broke during guys night, and we get 10,399!!"

Keldeo, half-asleep, lifted his head and drowsily addressed Victini.

"Don' ferget 'bout all the winders in tha Gym...zzz..."

"Right!!! That adds another 6!!" The small Legendary comtinued to furiously type on the computer he stole from some random trainer.

"So...that's 10, 405!!!"

**Happy, Mothim?? :)**

**Before you ask, this isn't necessarily a story arc, just a continuous trope in the fic. We'll have a lot of those ;)**

**Does this chappie feel kinda out of place as well, or is it just me?? :(**

**WPFOTD: The highest possible damage that can be dealt is 481,266,036 hp, and _Shuckle _is the only Pokémon that can deal it.**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	12. Daddy Lugia

**Lookie here, a new chappie!!!**

**AJ: Glad you liked it!! For your first question, she was scared of Rayquaza. For your second, Anime Logic.**

**PK: Thanks for explaining that, actually. I had no clue how to do it XD**

**Lets-a-go!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Llama God would've had a MUCH better voice in Arceus and the Jewel of Life XD**

**_O/O/O/O_**

_*Okay, Lugia. Today's the day. You're finally gonna do it._*

Said bird was smoothing his feathers down, anxiously awaiting his girlfriend's arrival.

He sat on the clifface, preparing.

_*It's one question. Just one. And if you're lucky, you'll get a "yes"._*

"Yoo-hoo."

Jumping slightly, he turned, finding that Ho-oh had landed next to him, smiling.

"Howdy, Lugia. Thought you were cheating on me with your imaginary girlfriend."

She winked, making his heart speed up.

"Nope." He replied, grinning. "You're the only one I need!!"

They then proceeded to enter a floofy-bird cuddling session.

A few minutes in, Lugia exhaled, ready to do it.

_*Now or never, I suppose._*

"Erm...Babe?? There's something I need to ask you..."

Opening her eyes, Ho-oh tipped her head up from Lugia's chest.

"Oh?"

He nervously continued.

"So...we've been together a while..."

He swallowed.

"And...erm...you make me really happy...and...I wanted to know if..."

Ho-oh's eyes began to sparkle.

"You wanted to be my ma--"

"**_I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!_**"

An angry female voice rang out over the horizon, shaking everything at an earthquake max of 9.0.

Lugia fell into the water.

Poking his head back up, he and Ho-oh found quite a scene.

Escaping Articuno's wrath was Mewtwo, Zapdos, and Moltrés.

Metwo was currently wearing a sparkly pink skirt, sparkly pink princess slippers, a pearl necklace, and a gigantic bow on his back like wings, along with one on his tail. A bejeweled crown sat atop his head.

Moltrés was adorned in camouflauge, black stripes painted onto her face, and just generally covered in dirt. Atop her head was a Drill Seargant's cap, which was on fire.

Zapdos was...

Bright green?

...Okay then.

Anyways, the three were being chased by a furious Articuno, who was wearing a bib with words written in WingDings.

Said female was screeching at them and firing Ice-Beams like a madmon.

"**_YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF LITTLE TWATS!!!_**"

Lugia sighed.

_*So much for the moment..._*

Shaking his head, the oversized pigeon flew into the air.

"Sorry, Babe." He apologized. "I better go fix that..."

Ho-oh giggled.

"It's fine, dear. I'll see you on our next date."

She flew off, and Lugia sighed once more.

_O/O/O/O_

"I'm never gonna get to ask her."

Lugia sat in the Dining Hall, face down on the Table.

"Aw, don't worry Lugia!! That was just one time!!" Entei tried to reassure, patting him on the back.

"Look on the bright side," Raikou offered. "you're not gonna die alone like Suicune!!"

Said beast smaked his brother over the head.

"But it's not just _one time._" Lugia moaned. "Those three can't get along for five minutes, and Mewtwo is...is...Mewtwo!! They _always _need me!!!"

Placing his head between his wings, he continued ranting.

"Not only that, she _could _say no!! She might--"

"**She won't**."

The simultaneous response from all three startled him.

"What?"

"Trust us, she won't." Suicune ellaborated. "She loves you too much."

Interested, the bird folded his wings and placed his head atop them.

"Oh really? How would you all know??"

"Well, she's like, our mom." Raikou piped up. "I think we would know. Plus, she blabs about'cha constantly."

"_Constantly._" Entei echoed.

Lugia cocked a brow.

"Your mom??"

"Well _yeah. _I mean, she _did _reincarnate us when our trainer abandoned us in the firey inferno that was the Tower, so..."

The three shifted uncomfortably.

Lugia bit his lower lip.

_*Sore subject. Oops._*

"Hey, wait a minute."

"What's wrong, Entei?" Suicune asked his brother.

"So, like, if Ho-oh's our mom, then Lugia and her become Mates for Life, then that means..."

All three heads turned to him.

"Don't tell me you mean--"

"**DADDY!!!!!!**"

_O/O/O/O_

"_And that's how I destroyed half of the--_"

Arceus, who was talking with Regigigas, was abruptedly cut off as Lugia dragged himself across the floor, panting, with the three dogs on top of him.

"Not...your...daddy..."

**Yes, Lugia. Yes you are.**

**This one's a bit short, I know, but oh well.**

**Quick explanation: In my stories, Pokémon, whereas where humans have husbands and wives, have Mates for Life, which is pretty much the equivalent. Since most Pokémon can't have weddings/don't even know what a wedding is, they have this. Don't like, don't read.**

**WPFOTD: Himonlee and Hitmonchan are based off of Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan.**

**See ya next Chappie!!**


	13. Journal Entry: Day 430

**Eeeeeeeeeeeeeey.**

**AJ: I LIVE FOR THE WEIRD.**

**lukekriebs: I'm imagining that. The dogs are tiny babaes and baby-arguing over whose rattle is whose. Lugia hasn't slept in days.**

**SerpentFeather: To answer your question about Kyogre: Certain Legendaries, mainly the Hoenn ones, can understand because they've learned her whale-language. Water types can, too. Others (Lookin' at you, Darkrai.) have absolutely no clue.**

**Also, you can make that 99% into 100%, becaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuse...YOU'RE RIGHT!!!! *Confetti rains down***

**PK: Don't worry, the Megas and Primals and Etc. all come into play here ;)**

**Ri2: ****YOU'RE ALIVE!!! *More confetti rains down***

**Guess we'll just have to wait and see if Ho-oh has any objections ;)**

**MegaMothim: Since when is _any _fic complete without a Truth or Dare chappie??**

**Alrighty, let's get this started!!!**

_*Thoughts_*

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon...I'd own Pokémon.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

_CRASH!!!_

Palkia threw a dresser over his shoulder, barely missing Giratina.

"Dude!!" The devil shouted, "We're here to _go through _his stuff, not _destroy _it!!"

His brother huffed, turning to face him.

"Well, I'm _sorry _if being worried about _my _brother causes me to break a few things!!"

Giratina narrowed his eyes, then slumped his shoulders and gave a defeated sigh.

"Look, I know you're upset. _I am too. _But you can't just _smash_ everything because you're stressed. It's all Dia's junk, anyways."

Palkia huffed, turning to face him.

"I guess you're right." He grumbled. "Sorry."

Giratina cracked his neck.

"It's alright, just make sure to replace his dresser."

Shrugging, the Water/Dragon type returned to his search.

The two were currently in Dialga's room, in the Hall of Origin.

**(A/N I'm pretty sure (at least hoping) that you guys have picked up on the fact that everybody has their own room in the Hall of Origin, right?)**

They were searching for something, _anything _that would explain their brother's absence.

A few minutes later, Palkia turned to his bro.

"Say, where'd your dog go?? Maybe he found something."

Giratina, coming to this realization, pokéd his head out of the room.

"Cyrus!!! Here boy!!"

About 2 minutes later, a scratching sound was heard coming down the hallway, and then Cyrus clumsily slid in.

"I got lost." He explained. "This place is big. And my paws keep slipping on the floor."

His master nodded.

"Did you happen to find anything??"

Cyrus shook his head.

Giratina sighed; Palkia groaned loudly.

Cyrus hopped onto the massive bed.

"I'm sure you'll find him. Eventually." The ninetails assured, snuggling down into the blanket-bound memory foam.

"**Eventually...**" They echoed, uncertain.

Cyrus flicked a tail.

"I think you two need a distraction. At the very least, something to take your mind off of this. I, for one, know that not stopping to clear your mind causes problems."

"He's...not wrong." Giratina thought aloud.

"Yeah yeah, listen to the _dog_." Palkia muttered, rolling his eyes.

Cyrus flicked another tail, rolling his eyes as well.

Giratina went into thought.

"Why don't we ask around?? See if anybody needs anything??"

"...Fine."

As they exited, Giratina turned to Cyrus.

"You can go to the distortion world now."

He opened a portal, and Cyrus reluctantly jumped in.

_O/O/O/O_

**_In the Distortion World..._**

Cyrus, after flying through time and space, returned to his warped home.

Floating, he lowered himself onto a platform.

Checking his surroundings, the ninetails found that his "Hiding Burrow" was floating close by.

Soaring over to it, he dug out his journal.

_Day 430._

_It appears that Dialga has gone missing without a single trace._

_Palkia and Giratina are panicking, it seems. They even dug through his stuff in his room at the Hall of Origin--something I recall Giratina saying they would normally never do._

_...It's ironic, really._

_Over a year ago I would have simply assumed that Pokémon were merely tools for human use, and incapable of such..."Complexities"(?)._

_Yet now..._

_...No. Nevermind._

_As I was saying, Dialga is missing. We-yes, **we, **as they needed my help--were unable to uncover any clues as to where he is._

_Palkia is getting angry. I doubt at his "brother"; he seems to be so concerned it's making him feel emotions he can't comprehend._

_Giratina seems...lost. He's afraid for Dialga's wellbeing, yet doesn't know what he can do about it._

_...How do I know all this??_

_Well, I **was **an adult, wasn't I?? I believe that means I had experience as a child._

_Meanwhile, I find myself becoming...concerned._

_This could arise problems._

_I know that in my previous entries, I explicitly stated that I have seen the error of my ways. Which I have...in a sense._

_Allow me to explain._

_I, Cyrus, **for--**LEADER of team Galactic, about a little over a year ago, tried to create a new universe using the power of Dialga and Palkia, along with the Water Spirits, Uxie, Azelf, and Mespirit._

_However, I was stopped by three children--Barry, Dawn, and...Lucas, I believe was his name??_

_Then, Giratina and his powerful wrath came down, dragging me here._

_...Long story short, I chose to remain here when they came._

_...Not my best descision, in retrospect._

_I was plotting my ways to redo my plan, and remake the world as we know it._

_I see my error in that, now._

_Remaking the word was a mistake._

_However..._

_There **are **other possibilities...**especially **when you have so many Legendaries at your disposal..._

_Now, about my problems._

_I...I'm beginning to...how do I put this..._

_"Get attached"?_

_Now, I don't know if I'll ever leave Giratina's care, now--he seems to have accepted me as his pet, without my consent--or his realizing that he never asked for it._

_If I do, that begs another question:_

_What will I do??_

_Will I return to my evil ways..._

_...Or...something else??_

_...Who knew a giant Time-Lord dissapearing could cause such internal conflict??_

_Back to the issue at hand--where is said Time-Lord??_

_...If there is one thing I hope..._

_He's still alive, so that nobody else has to suffer the wrath of the rest of the Dragon Trio._

_...Or the other Legendaries, for that matter._

_\--Cyrus._

**EXPLANATION TIME:**

**As I'm sure you all have picked up on, I combine the Game and Anime universes in my stories--while complicated, can still be worked out.**

**Yeah yeah, I know that Ash Corchép and friends save pretty much every region at some point. But doesn't that get tiring and cliché??**

**Hence, why here, the events of Pokémon Platinum took place.**

**Now, if I have any details wrong, sorry--I have Pokémon Diamond, where only Dialga appeared.**

**Ah, the memories. Diamond was my very first Pokémon game, which I ironically started when I was ten. Man, 2015 seems like it was so long ago, huh??**

**Anyways, sorry about my nostalgia. As I was saying, I combine the games and the anime, so here, Ash's movie or whatever didn't happen. Platinum did. Don't like that I do stuff weirdly? Get out :)**

**Anyways, if you have questions, toss 'em in your reviews. Some things in the story will be addressed as I go.**

**Also, GUESS WHAT?! I HAD TO GO BACK AND CALCULATE HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS APART FROM EACH OTHER EACH CHAPPIE WAS IN ORDER FOR THE DATES IN THE ENTRY TO WORK OUT!! AND I'M GARBAGE AT MATH!!! SO I USED MY PHONE CALCULATOR!!**

**Yeah, _that _sure was _fun._**

**WPFOTD: There was once a computer virus that went around where a cute lil' Pikachu would appear hopping up and down on your screen whilst the culprit would steal all your info. No joke.**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	14. Intervention Time

**Hey hey hey, hey hey hey, hey hey hey, hey hey HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!**

**lukekriebs: I find it ironic that I'm making him slightly likeable, considering how much I dislike the guy.**

**Ri2: Where'd ya come from, where's ya go, where'd ya come from Dialga-Joe!**

**AJ: Oh, you are too kind!! Thank you!! And don't worry, Dialga will be back soon...very soon...**

**PK: *Pulls out machine gun* WHERE?!**

***Sees "Pikavhu"***

**Oh, okay then. Better fix that...**

**Serpent: Extremely usefull!**

**AnonOmega: He will, I'm sure.**

**Okay, who's ready to get going?!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, I would probably be living in a gigantic mansion with 487 bathrooms and a pool/hottub/jaccuzzi.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

_Somewhere in Outer Space..._

Deoxys, Space-Hermit Extraordinare, floated amongst the stars.

Eyes shut, body limp...truly relaxed.

_*So nice, being so many light-years away...away from the family chaos...just me, the stars, the galaxies, the singing, and--_*

Suddenly, a rather putrid stench reached his nose, snapping him into awareness.

He unleashed a series of coughs.

"_What on Arceus' enormous earth_?!"

The smell got worse and worse, making the Space Hermit choke.

Suddenly, a distress signal began beeping in his alien brain.

Reluctantly, he returned to earth.

_O/O/O/O_

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!_"

Deoxys clutched a dead Starmie to his chest, sobbing and wailing.

"_IT WAS TOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!! THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ANYONE!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!_"

Kyogre gave him a pat on the back, crying silently as well.

Hundreds and thousands of dead water Pokémon floated in the small space in the ocean, the majority consisting of Staryu and Starmie.

"_Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..._" Deoxys moaned.

Kyogre gave him a nudge, pointing.

They were just in front of the Secret Islet, on which Victni was slumped up against the massive tree, passed out, a bag of Torkal Bell next to him.

The smell radiated from the small island.

_O/O/O/O_

Victini pushed open the door to the Dining Hall, humming.

He stopped when he found that the chairs were all rearranged into a half-circle, the table pushed back.

Each (remaining) Legendary was seated, with one chair left.

"_Ah, Victini, there you are._" Arceus mused. "_Have a seat._"

"Umm...'kay..."

The little Legendary floated over and occupied the empty seat, which all the others were facing.

"Uh...you guys feelin' alright??"

"We're suprised _you _still are, considering all that gas you put out." Keldeo mumbled.

"What?!"

"_Victini, this is an intervention._" Arceus continued. "_Torkal Bell has gone too far._"

"What?!"

"_YOU KNOW **"WHAT", **__YOU DISGUSTING MURDEROUS TWAT!!!_" Deoxys screamed.

"Hey, can I ask a question real quick??" Groundon piped up.

"You just di--"

He clamped Raquaza's mouth shut.

"_Erm...sure, I guess._" Arceus agreed.

Groudon turned to Deoxys.

"So, like, last time you were here, you spoke in beeps and stuff. When did you learn to _talk_?!"

Deoxys shrugged.

"_I have ascended into a higher level of intelligence._"

Everyone went silent.

"_...**Moving on.**_" Arceus continued. "_Victini, your gas...ahem...**leakage **__has begun to intoxicate legions of Pokémon and Humans alike._"

"_YOU KILLED THE STARMIES!! AND THE STARYU!! THEY ARE ALL **DEAD**_!!!"

"Lots of damage has been done, Victini." Reshiram spoke up. "As Deoxys...so bluntly put it, a good portion of all the water Pokémon in Hoenn are, sadly, dead."

"Uh..." Victini began, but was cut off.

"There's more." Rayquaza added. "The entire Region of Kalos has gone completely silent. It's as if the place doesn't exist. We're all too scared to go check it out."

"You sure that's because--"

"It gets worse." Mew deadpanned. "I can't feel any emotions right now. I've lost all sense of taste, smell, and touch. This has happened to me, Heatran, Uxie, Azelf, Mespirit, Latios, Latias, and everybody in the Kanto region."

"That doesn't--"

"Also, the reason there's only some of us here is because, not only for the reasons already mentioned, but also because most of them have been knocked unconscious." Palkia mused.

Indeed, all that were present here were Arceus, Deoxys, Groudon, Rayquaza, Mew, Reshiram, Darkrai, Keldeo, Palkia, and Registeel (The other Regis are unconscious).

"What the--"

"_Kyogre **would **have been here, but she passed out shortly after I found the others dead. Bless her soul._" Deoxys mourned.

"What does this have to do with me exactly?!" Victini shouted, confused.

Arceus facehooved.

"_**You **caused this, Victini._"

He looked bewildered; like when you overhear your mom telling embarrassing stories about you from when you were three to some random stranger.

"How?!"

Everybody (except Mew, she can't feel enough emotions to care) glared at him.

"Dude," Keldeo began, "you have so much gas after you eat Torkal Bell. How do you not _smell _it?!"

"Meh." The cat...furry...fox...thingamajig shrugged.

Arceus stood.

"_Victini, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we're banning you from going to Torkal Bell from now on._"

Victini went still.

Completely still.

"You can't do that." He replied, eye twitching.

"_Unfortunately, we must._"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT. I _THRIVE _ON TORKAL BELL. THE TACOS...QUESADILLAS...BURRITOS..._CRUNCHWRAPS..._"

"Uh...guys, I think we broke 'im..."

"YOU CANNOT STOP ME!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

He then jetted out of the Hall of Origin, the others chasing him.

"Somebody get the ducktape!!"

**Poor Victini. But hey, we all need an intervention at some point.**

**WPFOTD: Poliwag's swirl's are based on real-life tadpole intestines.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	15. Villany Break-In, Part 1

**And here we are, watching a wild author in _her _natural habitat...**

**AJ: Lol, thanks!! And don't worry, Kyogre isn't dead. She just got intoxicated is all, but she'll be fine!!**

**About Rayquaza and Deoxys: Honestly, Deoxys pretty much only likes Kyogre, and believes everyone else are a bunch of hooliganic idiots (Which he isn't completely wrong on...). Rayquaza tries to be nice, but meh. And they weren't arguing there because of the situation.**

**Firelord: I haven't read your fanfic yet, actually. I keep meaning to and forgetting.**

**Phione and Manaphy...they'll be here later.**

**MegaMothim: Oh yeah, I forget you're French sometimes. Helio isn't a bad name tbh.**

**_I see what you did there ;)_**

**Haha, I was waiting for your reaction to Deoxys.**

**SerpentFeather: That's exactly what I wanted ;)**

**TreeofFun/Hybrid of Fate : *Raises eyebrow, crosses arms* Look, I'm here to entertain people, and _have fun_. If somebody doesn't like my work, they aren't OBLIGATED to read it. Just like you, honestly. Did you even read my story?!**

**And honestly, how am I supposed to know when somebody's gonna review?! I don't run FF!!**

***Inhales, then exhales***** Sorry. I'm a little...out of control.**

**Look, I know the stories and all. But I've heard so many different sides that I'm not sure what to think. **

**Quick question for everybody: You guys know I'm a _girl, _right? Like, my friends can call me "dude" and stuff like that, but mostly because we're close.**

**Anyways, why don't we go to the story now?? This is the chappie you've all been waiting for!!!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, there would actually be a Dark-Type Gym.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Arceus sat at the Dining Hall table, sipping his tea.

_*Finally, some peace and quiet...*_Welp, there ya go, buddy. Ya jinxed it.

Suddenly, the entire room began to vibrate, causing Arceus to drop his tea.

"_Darnit._"

Looking up, he found a tiny, almost unnoticeable strip of green floating mid-air.

"_Hmm...oh, whatever. It can't be any worse than what happened last Thanksgiving._"

Levitating over, he pressed a hoof to the strip.

_O/O/O/O_

Ka**_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!_**

**(A/N: Challenge: Spot the difference!! there's a zero in there somewhere!!)**

All of Sinnoh shook, the sky turning green all around the earth.

12 seconds in, it stopped.

Seriously. It was that quick.

Anyways, the other Legendaries, albeit out of genuine concern or just plane noseyness, began flocking towards the Hall of Origin.

_O/O/O/O_

The Dining Hall doors fell off as everyone piled in.

The front of the precision stopped, causing everyone else to pile on top of each other.

...Before them was quite a sight, honestly.

Dialga sat in the middle of the floor, on his hindquarters, looking dizzy; Arceus' hovves stuck up out of the pile that was the table, tile, and chairs. The former stared.

Upon hearing the precision, Dialga craned his massive head around to see.

Everyone stared, mouths open.

Dialga shifted uncomfortably.

"Will ya'll move outta the way?!" Someone in the back yelled. "Tina and I can't see!!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Another voice responded.

Having complete and total lack of decency, Palkia heaved and shoved everyone out of his way, Giratina close behind, Cyrus on a leash at his side.

As soon as he saw his brother, Palkia tackled the other, hugging him literally around the neck.

"_Where have you **been?! We've been worried sick!!**_"

"He's not lying." Cyrus muttered. "Giratina puked on me _twice _yesterday._ Twice._"

"I apologized!! And gave you a bath."

Looking down at Cyrus, Dialga growled.

Said Ninetails took a step back, ears folding down.

"Erm...Dia??" Giratina asked, concerned.

Dialga, still having Palkia wrapped around him, stood.

Walking over to Cyrus, he bent his head down so that their faces were almost touching.

He growled again, nearly giving the former human a heart attack.

Placing a wing between the two, Giratina pushed Dialga's head away with his own.

"Come on, Dia. I hardly ever let Cyrus outta my sight!! He couldn't have done anything!!"

Craning his head around, two seemingly souless eyes stared into him.

"_Right, boy?_"

Cyrus never shook his head faster.

Eventually, after the initial shock wore off (That took quite a while), the rest helped retrieve Arceus from his rubble prison.

Once everyone had their bearings, all attention was on Dialga once more.

"_So..._" Arceus began"_Where__...have you...been??_"

"Oh come on!!" A shaking Victini with bloodshot eyes rattled, clutching his knees and staring into the abyss. "Give us them sweet sweet succulent juicy deets!! _Meet any strippers?? Anybody try to kill ya?? Did ya meet Bayleef Obamaswine__ and find out that he and Joe Bidoof are one in the same_??!"

Diaga's face contorted into one of confusion.

"We banned him from Torkal Bell last week." Keldeo deadpanned. "He's been like this ever since."

The dragon facehooved.

"But really," Giratina asked, "Where _have _you been."

Dialga gave one last glare at Cyrus.

He stood, gesturing for everyone to follow.

Sharing confusion, they did.

_O/O/O/O_

You would think a bunch of Legendaries sneaking through Viridian Forest would be more noticeable.

Fortunately, Bug Catchers are typically pretty stupid.

As the army snuck through the trees as best they could, eventually following Dialga through a hidden path.

_*...Strange.* _Mewtwo pondered to himself. _*This feels...familiar..._*

Eventually, they broke through the trees into a large clearing.

Sitting in the middle of it was a massive building.

The sign in front clearly stated **"TEAM ROCKET HQ"**.

Dialga turned around, gesturing.

Closing his eyes, the dragon changed into human form, massive gem still on his chest, glowing.

However, you couldn't quite see the gem, just the light radiating off of it, on account that Dia's hoodie covered his torso.

The others followed suit, doing their best to use the clothes to cover their remaining...ahem..._features_.

_O/O/O/O_

Two Team Rocket Grunts stood guard at the massive doors.

"I'm tellin' ya," One began, "This 'ole "Rainbow" thin' makes no sense!!"

"Yeah!!" The other agreed. "Iffin' we got ov'r a thous'n' new 'cruits, from all them diff'nt crews, who's payin' _our _salary?!"

"What's that about _salaries_??"

The new, seductive voice startled the two, heads whipping around.

They found a woman with long, green, sparkly hair leaning against a tree, one arm placed up against it. She was adorned in a black skirt that came to just above her knees and a green/black blouse that came to just above her bellybutton.

Putting on a mischevious smile, she slow-strutted over, making sure to sway her hips to an imaginary beat.

Both grunts were...certainly caught off guard.

"Tell me," she cooed, "what's wrong with your _paychecks??_"

She purred the last word, making both grunt's faces go red.

"Uh, erm, lady, ya can't be 'ere--"

"Why not, cutie?? I'm _suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure _I can pay you _pleeeeeeeenty _well..."

Back in the bushes, the rest of the crew watched tentatively.

"I can't believe this is working." Darkrai commented.

"It's Meloetta. She's the queen." Reshiram chuckled.

"Uh...isn't one of those grunts a girl??" Latias wondered aloud, binoculars pressed to her face.

"...Well gimme some slippers and call me Proffessor Oak, I can't tell." Shaymin, who was next to her, replied.

Entei, who was filming the whole thing, frowned slightly.

"Hey guys, this _is _taking a while. Should somebody go and help her out??"

"Good idea." Arceus agreed. "Keldeo, go help her."

The unicorn-human wopped and lept out of the bushes.

Everyone stared at Arceus in horror.

Keep in mind, this fool (Keldeo) is wearing short-shorts that are too small for him, never shaves his legs in human form, has no muscles whatsoever, and just ripped his shirt off.

...Dang, that's one shiny chest.

The grunts were currently trying to figure out how to deal, not only with the lady, but their continuous nosebleeds that came with.

Suddenly, a hairy--yet shiny?--leg came slamming up against the wall mext to one grunt.

"Heya hot stuff." Keldeo...I don't even know if I can really call that 'flirted'.

Shooting them finger guns and grinning (revealing his teeth that haven't been brushed in 3 years), he continued.

"Wanna hear a _poem_?"

The first grunt looked disgusted, whereas the second, who was right next to Keldeo's hairy leg, was trying extremely hard not to puke.

"Leg so hot,

Hot hot leg,

Leg so hot you fry an egg."

_That _sent Grunt #2 over the edge, puking all over Grunt #1.

Then, that caused Grunt _#1 _to start puking as well.

Meloetta and Keldeo stepped back, the onslaught of barf relentless.

"Hm. That worked, I suppose." The female purred.

Keldeo winked and shot her finger guns.

Back in the bushes, Virizon had her head in her hands, to scene too much for her to bear.

A male sat next to her, seemingly clad in red armor with a giant water tank attached to his back.

Finishing the drink from his straw, he turned to her.

"Isn't that one yours??"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Terrakion stared at the scene before him, Meloetta and Keldeo casually chatting it up whilst the grunts looked like they were about to die from everything that was coming out of their bodies.

"Should...should we be proud or ashamed??"

"Neither, or both." Coballion murmured.

Volcanion shook his head.

Whilst everone else was experiencing emotions, Mew had, the entire time, kept her eyes on Meloetta.

_*I'm starting to understand why Berry was so attracted to her. That, and her personality._*

"Earth to MewMew!!"

Snapping out of it, she turned to find Celebi giggling.

"Whatcha starin' at, MewMew??"

"Oh...nothing."

Eventually, the grunts passed out, allowing the Legendaries free (just had to step over the puke) entry to the building.

**What do they find? Guess we have to wait and see!!!**

**Bayleef Obamaswine: Barack Obama**

**Joe Bidoof: Joe Biden**

**WPFOTD: Pokémon Green is only availible in Japanese. Y'know, unless you go on Ebay and buy a bootleg where the NPC's are all high and the Gym Leaders swear every five seconds.**

**Quick question: Anybody here have Pinterest?? I know one person--luke, duh--but if the rest of you do, let me know!! I'll totally follow ya!! My username is "Dazzling Eevee".**

**Welp, see ya next chappie!!**


	16. Villany Break-In, Part 2

**Hey ya'll.** **Sorry this is a little late.**

**Ri2: Hey, that rhymed!! And it's absolutely true.**

**AJ: Thank you!!! Trust me, there'll be less puke in this chappie.**

**Serpent: Well, if ya ever make an account, let me know!!**

**Mothim:** **Oh yeah, forgot to address that. Dialga, along with a bunch of others, is naturally mute. Don't question my methods.**

**New Data: You're on the right track...**

**_As far as Lavender town goes..._**

**_Well, you'll just have to wait and see ;)_**

**lukekriebs: We'll see about that ;)**

**Lets-a-go!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis talk_." **(Which honestly probably won't even be in this chappie)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, some of those banned episodes...probably wouldn't be banned. Like seriously, you banned one episode because Meowth put on a Hitler Mustache?!**

**_O/O/O/O_**

_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!_

"Could you be a little more quiet?! We're _trying _to be stealthy!!'' Arceus snapped.

The army was crawling through the vents, following Dialga.

"Well _excuse me_!!" Keldeo snapped back. "I'm trying to get my stupid horn through these stupid tunnels!! Why do we even have to _come this way_?!"

"Why do _you _have to wear those nasty shorts?!" Victini, who was behind him, insulted. "_And _leave your shirt off?! Nobody wants to see your shinier-than-Diancie chest!!"

"Should I be insulted or flattered?" Diancie wondered aloud, fu**r**ther down the line.

"Quick question," Cyrus, who was still on a leash, began. "how have the vents not collapsed--"

Dialga, at the front, suddenly stopped; this caused a cartoon-style pile-up.

Pushing off the vent cover, he jumped out.

Waving at the others to follow suit, he turned and walked **o**ut of the room.

_O/O/O/O_

After getting untangled and exiting the room, the Legendaries managed to catch up to Dialga.

Said dragon was on his knees, hand up a vending machine's opening and attempting to grab a Soda.

Palkia began kicking it in the side, knocking down three.

Pulling them out and handing one to each of his brothers, Dialga peeked around a corner.

He grunted in dissatisfaction.

"What's wrong??" Girantina asked, giving Cyrus some of his Soda in a cup.

As they all looked around the corner, they found multiple grunts.

Oddl**y** enough, they were all from different teams...

This emmitted several groans.

Dialga gestured, promting Arceus to tilt his head to the side.

"You want us to split up??"

He nodded in response.

_O/O/O/O_

"Oh look, a room _full _of Team Aqua _and _Magma grunts!! How **_dreadfully convenient for us._**"

Rayquaza complained as he and the other Hoenn Legendaries struck poses in front of multiple sculptures and such, causing them not to be noticed by the aforementioned grunts.

"Ray, can you _shut up_?!" Groudon hissed. "You're gonna get us caught!!"

Raising a brow, the dragon jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

"If _that _hasn't gotten us caught, I think we're fine."

He referred to Latias, Manaphy, Phione, Kyogre, and Deoxys, who were all posing in front of a giant painting.

The paining itself depicted Giovanni, in a T-pose, ascending to the Heavens above over the top of several grunts. Most of which appeared to be worshipping the money-hungry mob boss--except for one, who looked suspiciously like a mix of Jessie and James, who was being zapped into oblivion.

Deoxys was Giovanni; Kyogre, Manaphy and Phione were grunts; Latias was the grunt being zapped into oblivion.

"...Point taken."

Rayquaza and Groudon were posing in front of a sculpture depicting Giovanni and his prized Persian. Rayquaza was Giovanni and Groudon was Persian.

Next to them, posing in front of a fountain, were Latios and Jirachi, the former depicting Giovanni holding up a fossil, which Jirachi represented, as he turned into his rock form.

Said child-like Legendary split a small hole in his rock and whispered to the others.

"Hey guys, I gotta pee."

"Shut up ya stupid rock!!!" Manaphy snapped, causing Jirachi to close up the hole.

"Manaphy, be nice for once." Phione si**g**hed.

As the grunts tried their best to get along with their former enemies, two female grunts from each team began to critique the sculptures.

"That Giovanni guy sure has an ego." The one from Team Magma commented, placing a fist on her hip and shifting.

"Tell me 'bout it." The Team Aqua grunt agreed. "That guy 'as more o' them pictures of 'imself than anybo'y I ever met!!"

The Legendaries internally agreed.

_O/O/O/O_

"So where are we goin'??"

"No clue."

Zapdos, Articuno, Mew, Moltrés, and Mewtwo were strolling down a hallway.

"This place is so _boring!!!_" Mew complained.

Mewtwo gritted his teeth.

"I thought being stuck here for 20 years was bad, but _nope!! _Mewtwo manages to blow the stupid place up, and what do they do??"

Mewtwo's eye twitched slightly, prompting him to grab the sides of his head as the memory resurfaced.

"_THEY REBUILD IT MORE BORING THAN BEFORE!!! **SERIOUSLY!!! GREY IS NOT YOUR ONLY COLOR OPTIONS, PEOPLE!!!**_ AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ALL THE GIOVANNI PORTRAITS--"

"WILL YOU _SHUT UP?!_." Mewtwo yelled at his ancestor, whirling on her. "YOU TRY BEING TRAPPED IN A TUBE FOR 15 YEARS AND HAVE ALL YOUR FRIENDS _DIE, _**THEN **WE CAN TALK **BORING!!!**"

"OH YEAH?!" Mew shouted, rising to what she felt was a challenge. "YOU TRY HAVING NEEDLES STUCK IN YOUR _BRAIN _FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND THEN HAVING PEICES OF YOURSELF REMOVED!!! YOU TRY HAVING YOURSELF _EXPOSED _FOR _SCIENCE_!!!"

"WELL_YOU TRY HAVING NO PURPOSE IN LIFE BUT BEING A WEAPON_!!!"

"**_YOU TRY HAVING YOUR BROTHER_**\--"

"**ENOUGH!!!**"

The Mews ceased their screaming as the three birds simultaneously shut them up.

"Fer goodness sake!! Ya'll're worse than _us _on a _good _day!!" Zapdos snapped.

"Honest_ly_!!" Moltrés emphasized the last syllable. "We will be leaving soon. For _now_, we don't need you two getting us _all _stuck in tubes for 20 years!!"

"Look," Articuno began, "I get this isn't a...good place for you two. But _please, _if we get caught it might be worse than th last time you were here."

The two gave each other icy glares.

"Ugh, okay." Zapdos pinched the **b**ridge of his beak. "Since ya'll can't seem ta get along at tha moment, we'll just split up s'more. Girls, ya'll go with Mew, Mewtwo and I can go another way."

"Um...you sure that's a good idea??" Articuno spoke up. "There's more strength in numbers, and--"

"For _once_, dear, I believe our brother may be right." Moltrés mused, linking arms with Mew and Articuno, leading them away.

"Hey!! Whaddya mean, "For _once_"?! I'm more right than ya half tha time!!"

"Oh _sure_!!"

The girls dissapeared, and Mewtwo turned around to go the other way.

Zapdos managed to keep stride with the angry clone, watching him all the while.

"...Hey."

Mewtwo moved his sharp gaze to his companion.

"What?!"

Zapdos sighed.

"Look, we don' really get along tha best or anythin', but..."

He looked away.

"...D'ya need ta talk about anything??"

Mewtwo paused, staring at seemingly nothing.

He looked at Zapdos.

Turning, he continued to walk.

After a few minutes, he began to speak.

"It all started with a really ugly mad scientist..."

_O/O/O/O_

"And here we have an Artist's Rendition of...wait, what _is _this supposed to be??"

Suicune, Raikou and Entei had decided to play 'Tour Guide' with all of Giovanni's memoirs of himself, prompting motherly giggles from Ho-oh, a facepalm or two from Lugia, and Celebi to pull out some popcorn.

They were currently examining a rather...confusing painting.

"Well _duh_!!" Onion fairy spoke up, "It's _obviously _Giovanni naked!!"

"We can _see _that, Celbs." Raikou replied. "But _why _is there two of him, both naked, one T-posing and the other _proposing_?!"

"Oh, that's a simple question with a simple answer."

All heads turned to a jan**i**tor, who was wiping down a mold of Giovanni's face.

"Giovanni in the T-pose is a depiction of his dominace. As that is what the T-pose is commonly used to demonstrate, it was only fitting.

"The proposing Giovanni represents his unbridled love for himself, as is seen by how many incarnations of him are seen around this place. Power and Dominance, that is Giovanni."

The six stared at him.

"...**What.**"

"My point exactly. I had to paint that monstrosity."

He then exited the room.

Entei snapped a picture of Celebi picking up a nearby sword with Giovanni's face on the helm and slicing it down through the picture.

_O/O/O/O_

Keldeo kicked down a door, Victini backflipping in.

"WHO LET THE ROCKDRUFFS OUT--"

"WOOF!! WOOF WOOF WO--"

The two's anyics immediately stopped as they found that they had, indeed, just barged into a room full of Team Plasma grunts.

Zekrom, Reshiram, Meloetta, Genesect, Terrakion, Coballion, and Virizon came in.

"What made you two--"

Upon seeing the sight, they froze.

The grunts all stared at them.

"Uh, pedestrians ain't supposed to be here." One began.

Another gagged at the sight of Keldeo's shiny chest.

"Especially ones without shirts."

"**THANK YOU!!!**" The other Legendaries except Keldeo shouted, the latter rolling his eyes.

The other grunts began advancing on the group, trying to decide what to do with them.

In a flash, Keldeo and Victini had whipped out pamphlets, both males sweating slightly.

"**Would you like to take a moment to talk about our Master, Lord Helix??**"

This made the grunts pause.

As they began to mutter to themselves, Zekrom, Reshiram, Coballion, Terrakion, and Virizon's mouths all dropped open.

As Keldeo and Victini exhaled, Genesect, in her armor-clad glory, flipped out.

"Lord _Helix?! _Lord **_HELIX?!_**."

All eyes on the room were on her.

"You worship that water monstosity?!" She snapped. "You let a _husk _rule over you?! _Disgusting_!!! **ALL HAIL LORD DOME!!!**"

There was silence, until...

"All hail Lord Dome!!" Somebody shouted from the back.

"All praise Lord Helix!!!" Someone else shouted.

Others began joining the fray, siding either with Dome or Helix.

Soon enough, chairs, tables, boots, and Pokéballs were being hurled around, along with th screaming.

The Unovas fled the scene.

Upon getting fat enough away, Keldeo and **V**ictini high-fived.

"Pamplets work every time!!"

Genesect suddenly towered over them, arms crossed.

"Lord _Helix_??"

"Woah woah woah, chill." Keldeo explained, he and his best friend putting their hands up in defense, sweat beginning to formulate again.

"We ain't even actually involved in all that cult stuff!!! We just bust out those pamphlets whenever we get stuck in situations like that one!!"

"It happens more often than ya'd think!!" Victini piped up.

She continued glaring at them, but eventually huffed and walked away.

Meanwhile, Terrakion, Coballion, and Virizion had pulled out a phone and begun Googling something.

"Uh...what're you guys doing??" Meloetta inquired.

"Googling 'When your kid and his best friend cause a religious fight are you supposed to be proud or ashamed'."

_O/O/O/O_

The Kalos and Alola Legendaries had taken over the Break Room.

Yveltal, Zyra, and Squishy were crashing on beds the two latters reading magazines; Xerneas and Magearna were at the Vending Machine, and Solgaleo and Lunala were snuggled together under some covers, passed out.

Mespirit, Uxie, and Azelf were there as well, passed out in random areas of the room.

A Team Flare grunt entered, witnessed the scene, and walked back out.

_O/O/O/O_

Regigigas and the Regis eventually got tired of being in their human forms and changed back to normal.

Volcanion had gone with them, leaving Magearna in the break room.

He, too, eventually grew bored of being human and changed back to normal.

The Regis proceeded to plow through the walls like tanks, having total disregard for class.

Volcanion followed, quite impressed.

_O/O/O/O_

Dialga, Palkia, Giratina, Arceus, and Cyrus all came to a stop next to Giovanni's office.

"Well?? What did you need us to see??" Arceus asked quietly.

**You'll just have to wait and see, I suppose ;)****See ya next chappie!!**


	17. Villany Break-In, Part 3

**Howdy!!**

**PK: Huh, guess I _didn't _respond to ya. Sorry 'bout that.**

**Joe Biden was President Obama's Vice President.**

**Also, you missed two letters ;)**

**Serpent: Hey, don't feel bad!! Requests are welcome as long as they're asked politely and are something that not only fits, but I can work with.**

**Actually, I hadn't even thought of that!! Good on ya!!!**

**lukekriebs: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah, those aren't even his worst paintings...**

**Guest: Welp, I appreciate your constructive criticism. Let's have a lookie at the names:**

**Groundon: Pure spelling error. My bad.**

**Coballion: When I caught him on my Omega Ruby, it was spelt like that. I think. Coulda been a glitch, or my terrible Nearsightedness got the best of me.**

**Moltrés: That's actually on purpose. Articuno, Moltrés and Zapdos are Uno, Dós, and Trés, the Spanish 1, 2, and 3. Thus, I use that é.**

**Plus, in my not-asked-for opinion, it just looks better.**

**Mespirit: ...Another one of my "That's how it looked in my games." None of which are bootlegged, mind you. They're all legit. But still, my bad.**

**AJ: I live for the crazy.**

**Let's get this shindig started!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech."

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**_O/O/O/O_**

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, I would ride around the world in my own private jet and rain merch full of cash down onto the masses._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

"Is everyone present?"

Giovanni's stern voice was muffled within the office.

Dialga, quiet as a mouse, moved forward, pushing the door open just a crack.

Arceus, Palkia, Cyrus, and Giratina joined him, barely managing to peek in.

The sight perplexed and worried them.

Within were most of the major team's leaders, seated in front of the Boss Man's desk.

No, Team Skull's leader isn't there. Only **actual **bad guys. And, of course, Cyrus is with Giratina...

"Not everybody, Giovanni. Cyrus has yet to arrive."

The new voice belonged to Maxie, arms crossed.

"Ah, Cyrus...well, I'm afraid we'll have to wait on that one. Nobody has been able to find him."

"Rumor 'as it 'e's dead." Archie quipped, rolling his eyes.

Outside, Cyrus' ears twitched at the mentioning of his name.

_*Why would they be looking for me?? Honestly, why are they all **together?**_

_*And if anyone's dead, it's Lysander. He's the one who swan dived off of a 20-story building!!!_*

"Dead or not, that can be fixed. But if everyone else is here, we can begin."

Reaching under his desk, Giovanni pulled out a thick binder and an even thicker book.

"If you all don't mind, I shall begin with a brief synopsis of you all."

Not waiting for a response, he flipped open the binder.

"Archie, leader of Team Aqua. Pirates. Attempted to increase the oceans and cover the earth in water. Almost killed millions and billions via drowning. Legendary Pokémon Target: Kyogre."

"Maxie, leader of Team Magma. Elite military-like team. Attempted to increase the continents and cover the earth in...earth. Almost killed millions and billions via heatstroke. Legendary Pokémon Target: Groudon."

"Ghetsis, leader of Team Plasma. Cult. Attempted to release all the people of the world's Pokémon; leaving himself as the only one with them. First attempt: Manipulate the hearts of humans. Second, merely rule with an iron fist. Almost killed millions and billions via boredom from having no Pokémon. Legendary Pokémon Target: Kyurem, Reshiram, and Zekrom."

"Lysander, leader of Team Flare. Technology geniuses. Attempted to create a new world entirely, leaving only Pokémon, himself, and chosen few from his team. Nearly killed millions and billions via ripping the fabric of reality to smithirenes. Legendary Pokémon Target: Zygarde."

"As you can see," Giovanni continued, getsuring at the binder. "That is _not _all my information; I have much, **much **more."

"Why do you have my time of birth and exact birthweight--"

"As I said, Ghetsis, _much more _information."

"Kay, so yer a creep." Archie rolled his eyes again. "Wha's that gotta do with us??"

"I agree with the water-obsessed lunatic," Lysander commented. "What _does _this have to do with us, Giovanni?? Perhaps while you explain that, you can also explaim why our staff won't stop talking about _rainbows_."

"And paychecks." Maxie grumbled.

"Ah, yes, that."

"Jupiter used to complain about her paycheck." Cyrus mused, prompting Giratina to reach down and clamp his mouth shut."Did you hear something??"

"No. Let's continue."

The five quietly exhaled.

"Now tell me, how much do you all know...about the multiverse??"

_O/O/O/O_

"Well, it seems I'm lost."

Diancie spoke to none but herself, skipping down a corridor.

Stopping a moment, she examined a mold of Giovanni's face.

"Gee, you _really _like havin' that weird, _sophisticated _smile, huh??"

Giggling, the Legend-turned-human began poking at it.

"I gotta say, you _are _kind of a looker...hm."

She stopped suddenly, listening carefully.

"What's that no--"

She was abruptedly cut off as the Regis came a-plowin' through, destroying the walls with total disdain.

Landing on her backside, Diancie frowned and yelled to the tag along, who was in his natural form as well.

"Volcanion!!! What are you guys doing?! We might get caught!!"

He shifted his mettalic head to look at her, giving a shrug.

"By the time those four get done, there won't be a place for us to be caught _in._"

She frowned, but didn't disagree.

_O/O/O/O_

"So, _what?? _Are you suggesting alternate universes are going to collide with our own or something??"

"Not quite." Giovanni replied to Lysander.

"They already have, in a sense."

The others looked at him like he was a walking pile of--actually, he kind of is already.

"You see, a few weeks ago, I was visited by myself from an alternate universe."

At this, Archie jumped up.

"Okay, no. This fool's lost it hard'r than the fool next ta me!!"

"You're the fool, wanting all that dreadful water all over the place." Maxie grumbled.

"If you would just hear me out, it will all make sense." Giovanni spoke.

"If it involves another universe, I'm all ears." Lysander mused.

Outside, Palkia gained a mischevious grin.

"_That's a **whole ****lotta ears.**_" He whispered teasingly, prompting both Giratina and Dialga to slap him on the back of the head whilst Cyrus facepawed. Arceus didn't understand.

"Well then, let's continue. The me from another universe came through a portal whilst I was dilligently working away..."

_O/O/O/O_

**5 Weeks Ago...**

_Giovanni lay asleep at his desk, snoring loudly for all the world to hear._

_Suddenly, a portal ripped open, Giovanni stepping through it._

_Looking around, he huffed._

_Turning to himself, he slammed a hand down on the desk, waking up Giovanni._

_Snapping to attention, the original mob boss immediately began giving out orders._

_"You, get me a coffee. You, do my taxes. You--"_

_Upon realizing that there were no grunts present, the man looked up to find himself standing before him._

_He stared for a moment..._

_"...Well then, it seems you idiot grunts have a fashion sense after all!!"_

_The AU Giovanni facepalmed._

_"I'm you, you inconceivable baffoon."_

_OG Giovanni was taken aback._

_"You can't be serious--"_

_"Giovanni, age shall not be mentioned. Born in Goldenrod City, Weight 19.6 pounds. Chunky baby."_

_A moment of silence followed._

_"...Alright, it seems you **are **me."_

_Another facepalm._

_"Listen here, me. I am Giovanni of Team Rainbow Rocket. We are an elite force of Evil Incarnate, in search of world's to conquer."_

_Giovanni narrowed his eyes._

_"We?? With a name like 'Rainbow Rocket', you can't just be another Team Rocket."_

_"Right you are. We consist of Team Leaders from alternate universes where each of us has suceeded in our goals. I, Giovanni, am leader, and our 'admins' consist of Archie, Maxie, Cyrus, Ghetsis, and Lysander. Then there's Faba, but we honestly don't care about him too much. I assume you know of all who I just mentioned??"_

_Giovanni's eyes drifted down towards the drawer where he kept his binder._

_"...I have an idea."_

_"Splendid."_

_OG Giovanni folded his arms._

_"So, why are you here, telling me all this??"_

_"Well, as I previously mentioned, we seek worlds to conquer. This seems to be...the original one, per say, so I assume that if we can take it down, the rest will be a breeze. And you, being me, would be the perfect candidate to tell me where we can begin."_

_"What makes you assume I would--"_

_Before he could blink, AU Giovanni had pulled out a gun, and released his very angry Mega Mewtwo Y._

_"I thought you might say that."_

_Then, as he was between a rock and a hard place, an idea formed in the back of OG's brain._

_"Try...try the Alola Region!! The Aether Foundation contains valuable technology that might be useful!!"_

_Putting away the gun, AU grinned._

_"See that wasn't so hard. Away I go. Thank you for your time, Giovanni."_

_O/O/O/O_

"...Well. That's...um..." Ghetsis trailed off.

"How we know 'es tellin' the truth??" Archie questioned.

"Actually, before he left, we had a few different paintings and molds made. Much easier when there's two, you know??"

By this time, most of the Legendaries had found their way to the office, and were crowded outside, listening in.

Suicune, Raikou, and Entei looked at each other.

"_Thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's how he had two in the T-posing and proposing one._" They whispered in unison.

"That...explains...a few things." Maxie concluded, grimacing at the memory of that very painting.

"Alright, Giovanni. You're telling the truth. But what happened to Team Rainbow Rocket??" Lysander inquired.

"Ah, them. As I suspected would happen, some trainers in Alola took care of them. Not the Ketchum boy, for once, but some others. They won't be coming back."

"That's all well an' good, but _what does all that have ta do with us?!_" Archie exclaimed.

"I have a proposal for you all." Giovanni replied.

"We shall form our own Rainbow Rocket, and conquer this world as it should have been. We will rule, and people and Pokémon alike will bow to us."

He leaned forward.

"With our powers combined, we could be unstoppable."

A moment of silence passed.

"...Isn't that copyright though??" Maxie mumbled.

"Look, that's nice an' all, but wha' about our goals?? I want wa'er, Maxie wants land. Lysan'er wants a world wi'out humans but 'imself, and Cyrus wan'ed a world wi'out emotion. And Ghetsi' jus' wants to be tha only person with Pokémon so 'e can be in charge!!"

"I agree with the Pirate." Ghetsis piped up. "Our ideals don't seem to match up in soem areas."

"But we all want _power._" Giovanni replied.

"Yes, Maxie and Archie disagree on land and water. But that can be fixed with compromise. 50/50. Yes, Cyrus and Lysander both wanted brand new worlds. But if we take over, then that will _be _a new world. And Ghetsis, _we, _and our grunts, will be the only ones _with _Pokémon."

The room was silent as each leader mulled it over.

"What about our teams??" Maxie asked. "We--Archie and I--supposdly turned from evil."

"Did you??" Giovanni mused. "Don't you think they miss it?? Don't you think they would understand if you returned to chasing your dreams??"

Maxie and Archie looked at each other.

"I'm in." Lysander stated. "I will join your team, Giovanni."

"Splendid."

"As will I." Ghetsis quipped.

"Excellent."

All eyes were on Maxie and Archie.

"Well??"

After a moment, Archie spoke up.

"I'll do it."

Maxie sighed reluctantly.

"I suppose I will as well."

"Perfect." Giovanni smiled. "Now all we need is to find Cyrus, and we will be complete."

Outside, a certain Ninetails looked at his paws.

_O/O/O/O_

After returning to the Hall of Origin, there was silence between everyone.

"..._Are they...are they gonna come after us_??"

All eyes went to Magearna, who had timidly asked the question.

Everyone began exchanging glances, or, in the Regis' case, began picking off peices of building material as a distraction.

Eventually, all eyes were on Arceus.

The Llama closed his eyes and sighed.

"..._They probably are._"

_O/O/O/O_

In the Distortion World, Giratina set Cyrus down before lying down himself.

The Ninetails got into a comfortable position and closed his eyes.

"Cyrus??"

He opened his eyes up to see Giratina looking at him.

"Don't worry, okay?? I won't let the bad guys getcha. I'll protect you."

And with that, he went to sleep.

Cyrus stared at his paws again.

_*...But do I **want **you to??_*

**FINALLY.**

**Guys, I'm _so sorry _this took so long!! My internet has been awful the past few days, so I couldn't get the chappie up. But it's here now, right?**

**So, that enough lore yet?? 'Cause I got plenty more coming.**

**WPFOTD: Fairy type Pokémon did not exist until Gen 6. Hence, why Pokémon like Jigglypuff were normal types!!**

**Got questions?? Toss 'em in your reviews!!!**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	18. I Nominate

**Heeeeeeeeeey.**

**lukekriebs: THIS GUY'S BIRTHDAY WAS APRIL 15TH!!! SHOW 'IM SOME LOVE EVERYBODY!!!**

**Mega: Imma give it to ya straight: The literal gods in question can't defeat the team villians and have to rely on _Ash Ketchum_. I hate it and don't understand it either. Take it up with Tajiri.**

**I rest my case.**

**(However, when the time comes my own headcannons shall be addressed.)**

**Anon: *Looks at fact* Whoops, my bad. I put Gen 2. Lemme just--**

***Edits***

**FIXED!!!!**

**AJ: ****Glad to keep ya interested!!!**

**Into the Pokéverse: Memedition coming to a cinema near you!!!**

**PK: I'll just explain--it was ROYGBIV, the colors of the rainbow. it was supposed to be foreshadowing for Team Rainbow Rocket. Glad you noticed though!!**

**Ri2: WHERE ARE YOU NOOOOOOOOOOW *Faded blasts in the backround* **

**_O/O/O/O_**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, I'd've killed a ton of people by now..._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

**Somewhere in Hoenn...**

"How's the camera coming??"

_Crash!!!_

"Almost got it!!!"

Once getting the camera to stand up correctly, Keldeo pranced over to Victini, who was carrying an enormus vat of cinnamon.

Setting it down, the two looked at Latios.

"Whatcha need this for again??" Victini questioned.

Latios sighed, looking into the distance.

"I should really quit making bets with Zapdos and Mewtwo."

The two looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

Sighing again, he turned back to them.

"Do either of you have a spoon??"

Keldeo craned his head around, reaching behind himself with a hoof.

He pulled out a plastic spoon and handed it over.

Latios stared for a moment before taking it.

"...I'm not asking where you kept that."

Floating to the table they had set up, Latios went behind it.

He picked up a chefs hat, placing it on his head and adjusting it.

"Start filming, boys."

_O/O/O/O_

**1 Day later, in Kanto...**

"Ey!!! Mewtwo!! We got a problem!!!"

Mewtwo, waking up, rolled over before teleporting to just outside of his cave.

He remained on his stomach, staring groggily, unseeing.

"_Whazzuuuuuuu..._"

Landing in front of him, Zapdos gripped the clone's head in his talons and hoisted him up.

"He actually _did it, dude!! _**We're screwed!!!**"

Shaking the sleep out of his head, Mewtwo replied.

"_What did who now??._"

"Look!!"

Holding the camera to the other's face, Zapdos played the video.

_Latios, in a Chef's Hat, nods to the camera._

_"Hello there. My name is Latios. I have been nominated by two--**ahem**\--dear friends of mine to do this particular challenge."_

_He motions to the giant jar of cinnamon and the spoon (which has been washed)._

_"As you can see, the cinnamon challenge. And, as my friends and I, ahem, prefer to go **'all out', **__this amount of cinnamon is quite large."_

_Picking up the spoon, he unscrews the top from the jar._

_"Also, this is special imported cinnamon from the Kalos Region. Right, Victini??"_

_"Yup!! Keldeo and I totally got it from some gangster old guy!!"_

_You can see Victini's thumbs up in the side of the frame._

_"His wife gave us some weird brownies though..." Kedeo speaks from offscreen._

_Latios nods solemnly._

_"Let us begin."_

Mewtwo gagged at the footage.

"_Is...is he _**_crying??_**."

"I'd be too, man!! That's _way _more cinnamon than we meant!!"

"_He knows that, though._" Mewtwo concluded. "_See how he's glaring at us?? That symbolizes that he can make is do something worse, now._"

Zapdos gave a nervous gulp.

_After all the cinnamon is gone, Latios' bloodshot eyes still glare at the camera._

_He snorts, the air brownish-red._

_"Now, ***cough* **since I've done this particular...ahem...challenge ***cough cough***, I get to nominate my **dear friends **for one."_

_He grins, pure evil in his eyes._

_"I nominate Zapdos and Mewtwo..._

The two held their breath.

_"...For the Ice-Bucket Challenge._

**Video end.**

Zapdos' pupils dilated.

"How...much..."

"_Quite alot...since he did so much..._" Mewtwo's voice trailed off.

The two stared off into the distance, unseeing.

"...We gotta stop makin' bets with that guy."

_O/O/O/O_

"Um, dear, don't you think that's a _little _too much--"

"NOT AT ALL!!!!"

Moltrés frowned slightly in fear as she flew with Articuno, who had a...uh..._rather **large **_bucket full of ice water.

The latter was cackling maniacly as she carried it to her destination, the water sloshing inside the bucket.

The two arrived at the designated area, where Mew had the camera ready and the two nominees were standing, looking terrified.

"WHO'S READY TO RUMBLE?!?!?!?!"

The two jumped at her voice, whirling around to find the crazed bird hauling the water bucket.

Zapdos' mouth dropped open while Mewtwo looked on the verge of fainting.

"That's a _lot__ta _water."

Coming to a halt above them (yet still in the air), Articuno grinned devilishly.

_*This is gonna be **so much fun.**_*

"Lights, camera, action!!" Mew giggled, activating the camera.

"Uh, hi." Zapdos gulped. "I'm Zapdos, this is Mewtwo, and...uh...like, our friend nominated us for the...the..."

He glanced up at the giant bucket again, gulping.

"Ice-Bucket Challenge."

"_Articuno--**who seems to be enjoying this far more than she should**__\--shall be dumping ice on us. We probably should've said our goodbyes earlier._"

With a heavy sigh, the two stiffened and closed their eyes, accepting their fates.

Articuno yelled something as she overturned the bucket, but the water splashing was so loud we weren't able to hear it.

As the water and ice rained down on the two, both Pokémon' eyes snapped open.

"HOLY F--"

Zapdos, luckily, was unable to finish that sentence as some freezing water went down his throat, causing him to gargle and spazm.

Mewtwo was hit over the head by an enourmous block of ice, knocking him out.

About ten minutes later, the water stopped.

Zapdos shakily lifted his head from the ground.

Growling, he shakily snapped at the camera.

"W-we...nomi-i-inate...L-Latios...for the Spearowbox Ch-Challenge."

_O/O/O/O_

"Do I _seriously _have to do this _blindfolded--_"

"For the millionth time, _yes_!!! Learn to watch movies, old man!!"

Latias, in the backseat, finished tying the blindfold.

Latios sighed.

"Why are we livestreaming this again??"

"Giratina and Arceus said they needed to see your killcount as soon as possible!!"

"What--"

"_Now shut up and drive the van!!_"

Also in the backseat, Phione panned the camera around to his face.

"Hello. My name is Phione, and you're about to watch us all die."

_O/O/O/O_

Luckily, nobody died, but the Lilycove Mall now has a massive hole in the side of it.

...And the Move Deleter doesn't exactly have a house anymore...

Also, Captain Stern's ship needs a few...ahem..._repairs..._

Anyways: Latios, crawling out of the engine and plucking glass shards out of himself, addresses the camera.

"I nominate Zapdos and Mewtwo to do the--"

His eyes drifted upwards to find Rayquaza, curled up on a cloud, shaking his head.

"...What??"

The dragon sighed, heaving off of the cloud.

Coming to just above Latios, he crossed his arms and shook his head again.

"Really??"

"..._What_??" The blue dragon repeated, more emphasized.

Ray sighed again.

"Those two, yeah. But you?? Man, I'd've thought you wouldn't let it go this far."

Latios raised a brow.

"If you're giving me a 'dissapointed mom' talk, I can give you one as well. Shall we bring up 1,000 years ago??"

"You weren't even alive."

"Maybe not, but Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandpa was. Story gets passed down."

Rayquaza hummed, drummimg his fingers.

"Look, you three are getting out of control. As the Residental Peacemaker of Hoenn, _I _automatically have to fix it."

"There aren't any laws--"

"Now come with me. I have an idea."

_O/O/O/O_

Arceus facehooved.

"_How long will they be doing this??_"

"However long it takes."

Zapdos, Mewtwo, and Latios all stood stock-still, in poses, staring at nothing.

Arceus, shaking his head, turned to Rayquaza, who looked quite pleased.

"_Alright, it seems to be working. But why **those **poses?? They look like an anime opening._"

"Makes the challenge worse. Whoever loses has to take Interpretive Dance classes with the Dogs."

Arceus shuddered.

"_It's so **intense **with them_!!!"

"Exactly."

**Rumor has it, they're still doing the Mannequinn Challenge to this day.**

**Sorry this took a while.**

**Alright, WPFOTD: ****Rayquaza is misspelled as "Rayquayza" in Pokémon Team Turbo in every instance.**

**Weird Chappie??? Eh. I rewrote it about 3 times--this isn't even anywhere _near _the original concept!!! At first, it was gonna be about the Regis!!!**

**Plus, my motivation is down the toilet right now, so eh.**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	19. Secrets of Love

**Hey ya'll. Doing good?? Good.**

**Serpent: Thanks, I really appreciate that. Really.**

**Ri2: The Spearowbox Challenge is based on the Birdbox Challenge. It's pretty much where people close their eyes and drive. Lots of people have died from it.**

**PK: I know, right??**

**Firelord: If it's romance you require, then romance you shall have!!!**

**Werewolf Chine: Okay, I Google Translated this one, so correct me if I'm wrong:**

**"I think I like these stories. I'm also the only one who speaks Spanish"**

**Thank you!! Glad you like them!! And yes, you are our only Spanish reviewer. (That I know of)**

**Miss (Guest): I was actually aiming for more of a Southern Accent on Zapdos...oh well. Thanks for reading anyways.**

**Let's begin.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Aeigislash wouldn't have been introduced until Sword and Sheild._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

"Hey guys, what time is it??"

The dogs were in Entei's room, Raikou sprawled out on the couch, Entei on the floor, and Suicune in a bean bag chair.

The floor was covered in various pizza boxes, drinks, and chips.

On the TV, an episode of "The Singlette" was playing, various men doing really retarded challenges whilst trying to impress a woman.

"I dunno, 8:30??" Suicune replied, glancing at a nearby clock.

"Oh, okay."

"..._Wait, **8:30?!**_."

Raikou leaped off the couch.

"AwshootI'mgonnabelate!!! Sorry guys I gotta go take care of something ASAP!!! BRB!!!"

He then bolted out the door.

He poked his head back in.

"I won't be back for a few hours, so lemme know who gets kicked off!!"

He then bolted away again, slamming the door behind him.

The two remaining brothers stared at said door.

"Uh...what??" Entei wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure." Suicune replied. "But whatever it is, it seems Raikou has a secret."

"I wonder what it is."

"Same."

"...Should we, like, follow him, or..."

"...We _could, _but I honestly don't feel like it. Interpretive Dance wore me out today. We can find out another day."

"Yeah. Plus, I wanna see who gets themselves killed on here."

Thus, they returned to watching the show.

_O/O/O/O_

Raikou, panting, skidded to a halt.

After giving himself a moment to get his breathing on point, the Titan moved some bushes, stepping into a clearing.

He looked around before a voice came from behind him.

"And here I thought you had abandoned me."

Whirling around he found Mesprit, floating gracefully, a playful smile on her face.

He exhaled.

"Sorry I'm late, babe. Got caught up with my bros."

She chuckled.

"I figured. Just don't go making yourself a bad habit. Getting away from my sisters for our secret dates is hard enough."

Raikou nodded.

Suddenly, a mischevious smile brewed on his girlfriend's face.

"Now, if you want a _good _habit..."

Trailing off, she tipped forward, pressing their faces together.

Raikou relaxed immediately, returning the kiss with vigor.

Mesprit pushed forward again, knocking her boyfriend onto his back, leaving her on top of him.

They eventually broke, Mesprit giving a giggle as Raikou rolled over, a foreleg around her.

She snuggled into his chest with a content sigh.

"You taste like pizza."

A tint of red covered the beast's face.

"Oh yeah?? _You _taste like fried Magikarp."

"Touche."

They went silent for a few moments, merely relaxing in each other's embrace.

Mesprit looked up at the sky.

"The stars are beautiful tonight."

"They sure are." Raikou replied. "But you know who else is beautiful??"

"Who??"

"Me."

Not even bothering to look at him, she smacked him with a tentacle.

"Hey!!"

"You asked for it, you oversized cheese grater."

_O/O/O/O_

Up in the sky, Shaymin crawled onto a cloud, panting.

"Okay Latts, this is _waaaaaaay _too high. Plus, I don't trust clouds. Why the heck are we here?!"

"Birdwatching." Latias responded, making adjustments to her telescope.

The hedgehog Pokémon facepalmed.

"We can do that on a hill!!"

"Not _that _kind of birdwatching, grass-brain. We're birdwatching _couples._"

Shaymin stared at her.

"...Are you honestly saying that you come up here, on a _cloud,_ every Friday night, with a _really expensive telescope, _watching people **_date??_**."

"Good, we're on the same page!! Now get comfy, I have popcorn."

The Sinnoh Legendary sighed.

_*Well, it's official. My best-friend-weird-mentor-kind-of-sister-figure is a friggin' **creep.**_*

"Okay...just gimme a sec..."

Closing his eyes, he was absorbed in a bright light.

When it vanished, his form was now more deer-like, and taller.

He opened his eyes and stretched.

"Oh yeah. That's nice."

"Sweet." Latias said.

"So...where we headed??" Shaymin asked, curling up reluctantly on the cloud.

"Wherever the cloud takes us. And right now, it looks like we're headed to Johto."

_O/O/O/O_

Indeed, the two ended up in Johto.

Inconveniently (yet conveniently for plot), they passed by a certain clearing.

Shaymin glanced down.

He leaned forward, squinting.

"Hey Latts, who's that?? Looks like Raikou, but he's with someone."

"Hmm??" Latias pointed the telescope in the direction he pointed.

Suddenly, a mischevious grin plastered itself onto her face.

"...That's Mesprit."

Then, Shaymin came to a realization.

"Waitaminute, they look a little too cozy for this to be a first date or something. What if--"

"ONE OF MY SHIPS IS _CANNON_."

Somehow, in her excitement, Latias managed to activate her Mega Stone.

Exploding in a ball of bright, spectral colours, the dragon launched into the air, not only destroying the cloud but also sending Shaymin flying across the sky into who-knows-where.

However, he was going so fast that, since this a fanfiction and I'm terrible at Science, he was surrounded in a bright light.

Raikou looked, seeing it.

"Hey look babe!! A shooting star!! Make a wish!!"

Mesprit thought for a moment before wishing inside of her head.

"Done and done, sweetheart."

_O/O/O/O_

A few hours later, Raikou came piling back into Entei's room.

"Hey guys. Wha'd I miss??"

Suicune and Entei, who still hadn't moved form their spots, shared a glance.

"...Should we tell him??"

"Either that or he finds out on his own."

At this, Raikou got nervous.

"Tell me what."

The other two looked back at each other and gave a solemn nod.

"Chad got eliminated."

"**DANGIT!!!**"

**Can't win 'em all, Raikou. Can't win 'em all.**

**Who else can relate to Latias on a Spiritual Level??**

**WPFOTD: Pokémon Crystal was the first game to ever let a player choose their gender. Up until then, you could only be male. However, in Gen 1 remakes the option was available.**

**Watcha think of Raikou and Mesprit having a _secret realtionship???_**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	20. Creation Discussion

**Hey guys.**

**Anon Omega: *Shrugs* Not gonna lie, some of the facts I put up are probably common knowledge.**

**On the bright side, call me up if you're ever going to Comicon or Pokécon or anything like that.**

**Ri2: I'll explain as we go along ;)**

**lukekriebs: Thanks bruh. Glad you agree!!**

**Serpent: Same though. Call me up if ya ever wanna stalk a ship we both like.**

**Mega: We'll actually be addressing that particular love triangle soon...not this chappie, but either the next one or the one after.**

**AJ: Aw, thanks!! Don't worry, this'll be a reoccuring subplot.**

**Firelord: Well hey, not gonna lie, it's a good fanfic!!! You're a good writer!!!**

**I wouldn't really call myself famous...thanks nonetheless!!**

**PK: Hmm, he's not here...hang on a sec.**

***Places a pizza under a box with a string attached***

**That should do it.**

**Now, let's do this!!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis talk._"

**_DISCLAIMER:_**

**_If I owned Pokémon, ya'll would be seeing some weird subplots..._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Mewtwo, Magearna, and Genesect sat at a smaller, round table in the Hall of Origin's Kitchen.

Mewtwo gave a heavy sigh.

"_What's the point of this again??_"

"_'Bonding', apparently._" Genesect responded, her voice deadpan.

"_Oh, I'm so glad for that, too!!!_." Magearna clapped her hands as she giggled.

The other two looked at her, confused.

"_It's so much fun to branch out and get to know others!!! Wouldn't you agree??_"

The other two looked away, grumbling.

Then, something struck Genesect (figuratively).

"_Hey, Bunny. Since when can you talk?? I thought you could understand humans but not talk yourself._"

Magearna giggled.

"_Well, first off, after I was 'woke back up', and had such a wonderful adventure, Volcanion took me all over Kalos trying to find a technician to fix me. Eventually, he intimidated a blond kid with glasses to do it._

_"Although, as he was working, his house exploded. Poor boy. His sister was quite nice, too._

_"But, because it exploded he couldn't finish. So, now I can speak Pokémon, but not human."_

The clone and the creation stared for a moment.

Then, Mewtwo pinched the brink of his...er...muzzle.

"_I forgot that Pokémon and humans have different dialects._"

"_Same._" Genesect agreed. "_I get so used to hearing both all the time..._"

"_Oh, don't worry!!_" Magearna quipped. "_Just be glad you can understand everybody easily!!!._"

"_True..._"

They sat in silence for a moment.

Then, Magearna broke said silence.

"_So, how were you two created_??"

The clone and the bug looked at her, taken aback slightly.

"_Why bring **that **up???_" Genesect scoffed.

Magearna giggled.

"_Well, all three of us were created somewhow!!! I was built for my princess hundreds of years ago._"

She placed a hand on her chin.

"_Well, my sould was put into my body, anyways. Not sure how they made my soul.._._Volcanion knows, but he's so stubborn and won't tell me._"

Then, she placed her hands together happily.

"_But I'm glad!!! It's a mystery to solve myself!!!_."

Mewtwo mulled this information over while Genesect appeared to roll her eyes. This action went unnoticed by poor Magearna, however.

_*She's so **glad **about everything...weirdo._*

"_Well, **I **got **my **__soul sent back to earth after I died thousands of years ago._"

Magearna gave an "_Ooooh~_".

"_How did **that **happen?!_."

Genesect snorted, taking great pride in what she was about to say.

"_Lord Dome, baby. Lord Dome._"

"_You mean one of those fossils that everyone seems to worship??_" Mewtwo asked.

"_Eyeup._"

While Mewtwo took in the information that such a psychotic thing that humans created in their minds might be true, Genesect continued.

"_Of course, me and my troop were sent back. But **Team Plasma--ugh--**found our fossils and recreated our __bodies.__ Not quite how they were, though..._"

She gestured to what she had become.

Magearna nodded, having enjoyed the story.

"_Wait._"

Both looked to Mewtwo, who seemed quite disturbed.

"_You wouldn't...have any, say...'distorted relatives', would you??_ _One that...is like a glitched skeleton??_"

Genesect seemed concerned, going into thought.

"_Hmm...Not that I know_\--''

Then, something clicked in her head.

"_...Wait. Yeah, yeah. Him. Right._"

The other two tilted their heads to the side.

"_Okay, look. There was this one Kabutops...he...well...well, we aren't all that sure what he did. But, it upset Lord Dome. **Big time.**__ They had a huge fight, and the TL;DR is that the dude got blasted to peices. But his soul remained intact on his skeleton, which was just barely held together. By some...'ancient force', he revived as a glitchmon, then dissapeared. No one's seen him since._"

They sat in silence for a minute.

"..._How long ago was that??_"

"_Ah, back when I was alive for the first time. So, a while._"

Genesect tapped her 'chin'.

"_Y'know, that's the first time I've told that story to non-cult 'Mons. I wonder if that's bad._"

"_Well, if it is, you can just tell Lord Dome that we're your friends!!!_." Magearna purred.

Mewtwo supressed an eye-roll.

"_Yeah, that's the **perfect **excuse._" Genesect grumbled, crossing her arms.

Magearna turned to Mewtwo.

"_Your turn!!_"

He raised a brow.

"_For what??_"

"_Your backstory, of course!!_ _We both told ours, so now it's your turn!!!_"

Mewtwo actually rolled his eyes again.

"_I'm sure everyone knows by now. Team Rocket Scientists cloned Mew, creating me._"

He closed his eyes and turned away.

"_The years in their captivity were Hell on Earth, and I do** not **wish to discuss the details._"

His tone downhearted Magearna, whereas Genesect spoke up.

"_I get ya there. Humans are the **worst.**_"

Mewtwo looked back at her.

"_I can't argue there. I take it your years with Team Plasma weren't pleasant??_"

"_You don't even know._"

_*Or do I??_* Mewtwo thought.

"_Well...not all humans are bad!!_" Magearna quipped, a hidden despair in her peppy voice. "_My princess was good!! Very good!!! She would have loved you both!!_"

This caught the other two's attention.

"_Oh really?_"

"_Very much!!!_"

The two looked away, unsure what to make of that thought.

A few moments of silence passed.

"_...So, who here likes pineapple on pizza??_"

**What the heck Genesect. I hope they don't. I sure don't.**

**Well Serpent, wha'dya think?? I did my best.**

**WPFOTD:** **Apparently, Gold and Silver were intended to be the last Pokémon games. But sales amd money changed everbody's minds.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	21. A Much-Needed Chat

**Wazzup???**

**Ri2: Alex, give me "Or is She??" for 400.**

**PK: *Ducktapes box shut* Now stay in there until you find the meaning of life.**

**Welp, let's do this.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech''

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, a lot less Ash Ketchum movies would exist. There would be movies starring the game protagonists instead.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Mew was on her bed, reading a magazine.

Several knocks on her door alerted the Legendary, causing her to toss the magazine aside and answer.

Outside was Victini, who seemed...less energetic than usual.

Mew, however, brightened at the company.

"Hey, Victini!! Wassup??"

She moved aside to let him step in, shutting the door.

He shuffled from foot to foot, fumbling with something behind his back.

"Erm...just wanted to give ya these."

He pulled out a small bouquét of flowers, extending them to her.

He didn't look her in the eyes; he instead found interest in the floor.

"Look, I know what'cha said. I know what the deal is. I respect that. I'm not tryin' to force anything, I promise--"

"It's alright, Victini."

He whipped his head up, meeting her gaze.

"I know you. You aren't trying anything. It's fine."

He held her gaze for a moment...

Then exhaled.

"Thank Arceus' behind!!! I thought you'd be mad!!!"

Mew laughed.

"Well, they are quite pretty, honestly."

Grabbing them with her tail, she placed them in a nearby vase.

"I don't get many flowers these days, so it's pretty nice, anyhow."

Victini cocked his head to the side.

"Wait, _you, __Mew, **one of the prettiest girls on the planet, **_doesn't get flowers?!"

Mew giggled at that.

" 'Fraid not, 'Tini."

"Well, that sucks." Victini deadpanned, flopping onto her bed.

"Meh." Mew responded, flopping down next to him.

They laid in silence for a while.

Eventually, Mew sighed.

"...Y'know, Victini, sometimes I regret dumpin' you."

Victini turned his head to look at her.

_*Is she...ready to **talk??**_

"I...uh...wouldn't really say you 'dumped' me, considering what happened...you weren't in the best..._mental state_..."

Mew shrugged.

"Well, considering, I'm pretty sure I dumped you."

Victini went into thought.

"...Fair enough."

"But hey, it was what, 200 years ago??"

The male blinked.

"...Oh yeah. I forgot I'm an old geezer."

Mew laughed again.

"Not like me, you're not."

She grinned.

"_Sonny boy._"

They were in silence after her grandma voice before busting out laughing.

After calming down, Mew closed her eyes and hummed.

"I forget not all of us were in the original eggs."

"Figures."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Well, granny, if you don't take your medication you won't remember anything!!"

She smacked him with her tail.

After some more laughing, they returned to comfortable silence.

"...But, really, I miss you sometimes. I miss _us _sometimes."

She sighed.

"Like I said, Mew, it's fine. You ended it, and I can respect that. It's fine."

She glanced at Victini, whose eyes were shut, a calm aura surrounding him.

_*Is it, Victini?? **Is it??**_.

"Besides, there's a bright side to it!! You get to look for the right guy, and I got Keldeo!! As long as we sit 5 feet apart at all times we're fine!!"

Mew chuckled at that.

_*If they ever **did **__get together, it would be Hell on Earth.*_

Mew looked up at the ceiling.

"Although...I _do _feel like I've owed you an apology..."

He glanced at her.

"Why?? You apologized for dumping me, like, 10 times in this chapter alone."

She gave him a weird stare before continuing.

"Look, I guess I didn't really give you a chance...when...well, when my brother...you know...I just wanted to be alone, you know?? And needless to say, I wasn't all that nice about it."

Victini shrugged.

"Eh, you were mourning. Can't blame you there."

Mew sighed.

"I guess. But still, I'm sorry."

"Like I said, it's fine."

He glanced out the window.

"...I do feel kinda bad, considering how desperate I get for a girlfriend sometimes."

"Oh really??"

"Yeah. I've flirted--_alot_\--but no sucess. _At all._"

"Did you try, I dunno, Meloetta?? Ya'll're even from the same region!!"

Victini pressed his lips together, going dead silent.

After a minute, Mew gained a concerned look.

"Victini??"

He glanced at her, his forehead creased.

"...You want me to be honest??"

Slowly, and worriedly, she nodded.

He inhaled and exhaled. Slowly.

"Meloetta..."

He sighed.

"...Meloetta's still holdin' onto your brother."

That hit Mew like a meat cleaver on a Magikarp.

_*...She...**what??** **Still?!**_

"...Yeah, that look on your face is why I didn't really wanna tell ya."

Mew shakily exhaled.

"I...didn't...see that coming."

"Yeeeeeaaaaaah...neither did I."

Mew stared at the ceiling.

"...On the bright side, at least he had somebody, right??"

This got Mew thinking.

_*...You know what...*_

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

The stared at each other before looking away.

_*At least **Berry **had someone...unlike me...ruining everything I had._..*

Mew sighed.

Victini sat up, stretching.

"Sorry, I...didn't mean ta barge up in here and drag ya down memory lane. I guess... I'll head out."

He floated to her doorway.

"Victini??"

He looked back at her.

"...Thanks."

_O/O/O/O_

**Several Hours Later, In Unova...**

Victini entered he and Keldeo's secret base.

Keldeo, who was channel surfing, flipped off the TV and looked at his buddy.

"Hey dude!! How'd it go??"

Victini smiled. It was an odd smile, one that, while not seen often, always bothered Keldeo when he saw it.

"Well, we talked. About a few things. Which...I think is good. Maybe."

"Well, hey, maybe one day she'll come back to ya." Keldeo replied, stretching and heading over to his bed.

Keldeo flopped onto his.

"Maybe."

"At least you haven't been, like, framed for two murders or something."

Victini laughed.

"Or had my life energy drained to turn all humankind into Pokémon!!"

"Hey, good one!! Or had your..."

Keldeo trailed off, passing out in the comfy memory foam.

Victini chuckled.

They always played that stupid game, thinking up worse situations they could be happy they weren't in.

He crawled under his bed, pulling out a black crate.

Blue letters spelt the words "Mew Memories", which were taped to the top.

Opening it, he picked up the brown scrapbook.

He paused, unsure.

_*I haven't looked in a while. Should I??_*

He stared at it.

_*...Here goes nothin'.*_

He flipped open the pages, gazing upon picture upon picture of Mew and himself.

A few minutes passed by before he couldn't handle it anymore, closing the book.

He stared at another content of the case.

A small, black box.

_*Another day, Victini._

He thought to himself, sealing the case up and sliding it back under his bed.

_*Just not today._*

**How's _that _for lore??**

**Okay, so you know how I said I ship Onion Fairy and Victini??**

**Well...****I have hit a dilemma.**

**Now, I am truly torn between Mewtini and ShayMew. EVERYONE VOICE YOUR OPINIONS!!!**

**WPFOTD: Eevee was the first Pokémon that had a different evolution depending on the time of day.**

**Questions?? Hit me in the comment sections!! Hated the chapter?? Hit me in the comment section!! You can't find any clean socks?? Hit me in the comment section!!**

**See ya next chappie!!!**


	22. Alolan Couplet

**Howdy!!**

**PK: ...Eh, sure. Why not. *Opens box***

**Ri2: Yup.**

**Serpent: Glad you liked it!! And I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 20. I tried.**

**Unfortunately, I _have _to listen to you, since I'm needing votes here. Biast ones and all ;).**

**Mega: Yeah, guest reviews are a mess, aren't they?? But at least you can review.**

**And yeah, you were right about the TRR thing.**

**Alright, I'll throw you on the ShayMew tally...**

**Firelord: Actually, Celebi was in the earlier chapters. We didn't focus on her too much, though. I guess I see why you may have missed her.**

**Seriously guys, read his fanfic. It's really good.**

**Guest: Hey, welcome!!! Thanks for reading.**

**Guess that's all for now. Onto the story!!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis talk._"

**_Disclaimer: if I owned Pokémon..._**

**_One word. Hybrids._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Solgaleo raided the fridge, trashing the kitchen as he used his lack of class to look for food.

"Ey!!! Watch it, bucko!!"

Pulling his head out, he turned to find Celebi, who had a carton of milk stuck on her head.

"Sorry." He replied, returning to digging through the fridge.

Celebi rolled her eyes, going into the freezer and taking out a tub of ice cream before leaving the room.

Solgaleo proceeded to rip through packages, gobbling down whatever he deemed edible to his palaté.

Lunala flew in a few minutes later, lost in thought.

Noticing Solgaleo, her face lit up.

However, she jumped and flew over, smacking a pineapple out of his mouth.

"What was that for?!"

"_You're allergic, remember??_" She replied, voice and demeanor calm.

He blinked.

"Oh, right."

She looked around the kitchen, shaking her head in amusement.

However, Solgaleo furrowed his brows.

"What's wrong??"

She tilted her head to the side.

"_What do you mean?? I'm fine._"

"No you aren't!! I can tell!!"

Lunala sighed.

"_Sweetie, really--_"

Next thing she knew, the lion had tackled her, burying her under his 507.1 lbs of fluff.

"FEEL-BETTER AFFECTION TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!"

This, while knocking the wind out of her temporarily, caused his girlfriend to laugh.

He laughed with her, warmth inside of himself.

_*That's my favorite sound in the whole world...*_

"_Alright, alright. Get off, you oversized stuffie._"

He rolled off, allowing her to breathe.

"_Well, I do feel better. Thank you._" She sighed, relaxing on the floor.

Solgaleo hopped to his feet.

"Well, if you wanna feel even _better, _than c'mon!!"

He tossed her on his back and launched out the window, taking off.

Entering the trashed kitchen, Manaphy ripped open the fridge.

What she saw filled her with rage.

"WHO. ATE. MY. **GRAPES****?!?!?!?!?!?!"**

_O/O/O/O_

Solgaleo came to a stop, a dizzy Lunala crawling onto the ground.

"_So...faaaaaaaaaaast..._"

"I know right?! Isn't it great?!"

The lion pounced on her, affectionately nuzzling her kneck.

Lunala busted out laughing, him tickling her in the worst place.

They had come to the patch of land on Melemele Island with golden flowers (where Nebby, as usual, escapes the bag).

Luckily, no trainers were out, so it was just them.

Solgaleo rolled off of her, laughing.

The male looked up at the sky, relaxing himself entirely.

"Aw, look!! The stars are coming out!!"

Lunala gazed upward, eyes sparkling.

"_They are, aren't they?? So pretty, too_."

"But you're prettier!!" Solgaleo insisted with enthusiasm.

Her face turned bright red.

"_Well, I think you're brighter than the sun._" She flirted, playfulness in her voice.

"Aww, BABE!!!"

Once again, she was tackled.

Not that she minded, really.

Suddenly, a small flock of Cutieflies descrnded, beginning to feast on the flower's nectar.

Lunala flung her boyfriend off and began fangirling over the tiny Pokémon.

"_Oh, look at them!!! **They're so tiny!!! **And they have wittle stub feetsies and buzz-buzz wings!!! Aww, look at this one go!! He's a hungwy baby!!! Awwwwww~_"

"Dangit..." Solgaleo mumbled, internally noting not to bring her at the same time the Cutiefly came to feed if he wanted affection.

"Woah, Pikachu, look!! _Legendaries!!!_."

The two jumped up immediately, whirling around with denial--and fear--in their eyes.

Sure enough, Stupid was there.

Pikachu gave them an apologetic look and a "Pika, pi-pi-pikachu pika-ka." (_I am so, **so **sorry about this._)

_O/O/O/O_

Arceus awoke to banging on his window.

Groggily getting up, he staggered over to it, drowsily looking out.

He was greeted with the sight of Lunala and Solgaleo, the former attempting to carry the latter and continuing to bang him into everything in sight.

"_YOU'RE TOO HEAVY!!!_."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME _FAT?!_"

"_I'M NOT THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO LIGHTEN UP ON THE RABUTA BERRIES, NOW AM I?!?!?!_."

Then, as if by magic, a Spearow crashed right into Lunala's face, sending them both down.

Arceus blinked.

He slowly returned to his bed, enveloping himself in blankets once more.

"_I need to lighten up on the Shuckle Juice._"

_O/O/O/O_

**Location Unknown...**

A dark figure loomed over a purple orb, the events of this chapter playing out within.

He 'turned it off' a turned, floating towards his window.

"_Enjoy each other while it lasts. You cannot escape me forever, Solagleo. You cannot escape me forever, Lunala. You both will bow to me, and your light will be mine. I will rule. **I will win, and you cannot stop me.**_"

**Welp.**

**Okay, so I got Pokémon Sun recently. I picked Litten (Of course). I just finished my first island trial and paused at the part with Nebby in the feilds that were in this chapter.**

**You guys probably don't care. I'm telling you whether you like it or not.**

**Sorry if this chapter was bleh. Got a lot on my mind, I guess.**

**Buuuuuuuuut, school's out for me for the summer, so that's less stress on my part!!!**

**WPFOTD: Umbreon's Japanese name literally translates to "Blacky".**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	23. A Chapter, I Guess

**And another one gone and another one gone and another one bites the dust~**

**Serpent: Alas, you are correct. I am excited for the games, but cannot play due to me not having a Nintendo switch.**

**lukekriebs: Thank ya.**

**Mega: I've watched playthroughs of that Fangame before, but I can't download it because I don't have my own computer.**

**Also, regarding kicking the trainer in the sack: Pikachu, I'm afraid, isn't tall enough.**

**Plus, he has little stub feet. Granted, he _could _use Iron Tail, but I digress.**

**But you know who _is _tall enough??**

**CHARIZARD.**

**Ri2: Yay.**

**Firelord: Yeah...I hear ice cream helps with that sort of stuff.**

**PK: *Pulls out luxury ball***

**Now, let's get started!!**

_*T__houghts__*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis talk._"

**_O/O/O/O_**

"This is _exactly _how I wanted to spend my afternoon!!!"

"Shut up, Moltrés."

Articuno sat on a branch and hummed, reading a book about Ice-types.

"Are you gonna help, _princess??_" Mew snapped to the bird.

"Nope." Articuno hummed, sipping her milkshake. "You made the mess, you clean it up. I'm just the supervision."

Mew grumbled and went back to sweeping.

"Where's your brother??" Mew asked Moltrés.

"Still doing that Mannequinn Challenge, I'm afraid." The fire-type replied. "I'm a bit worried--the three of them haven't used the bathroom in a while. That's so unsanitary!!"

Mew shuddered.

A white beast landed next to Articuno.

"What on earth happened here??" Reshiram asked, awed by the destruction.

"Those two had a 'Who Can Make the Prettiest Fire-Type Move' competition. As you can see, it blew up the kitchen. Arceus was _not _happy."

"Oh my."

"Hehe, it was worth it to see Manaphy's face when her grapes went flying all over the place all burnt up. Priceless."

_O/O/O/O_

_*How...long...have we...been **doing this?!**_**_*_**

Latios snapped in his mind, still in his pose.

To answer his question, it's been about three weeks.

"It's only been two weeks in your world though!!" Victini yells, walking down a nearby hallway.

Shut up Victini, it's my story and I can do what I want!! And you're only allowed to break the Fourth Wall in Firelord's story!!!

Ahem, **_as I was saying..._**

The dragon finally broke, collapsing onto the ground and falling off of the pedestal.

"LATIOS LOST!!!!'' Zapdos screeched, relieving himself of his position.

Mewtwo did so as well, several boned popping as he did.

He was panting somehow, despite not having a mouth.

"_I have **never **had my leg up so high for so long._" The clone shuddered.

"Dude, _interpretive dance!!! _**I'm so gonna film this!!!**." Zapdos mocked Latios with a laugh.

The dragon groaned loudly.

Then, the bird took off, returning 15 minutes later.

"Ah, sweet relief~"

"Wait, you were...holding that in??" Latios inquired, face contorted.

"Uh...yeah??" He replied, confused. "Didn't y'all??"

"_I cannot physically use the bathroom. Whatever I eat is automatically changed into pure energy and stored within my body._" Mewtwo replied.

"Huh, that's, um...cool."

"I just...went. On the pedestal."

The two stared at Latios like he had the plague.

"...What??"

"Dude...that's...just..."

"_Unsanitary._"

"Yeah, that."

They stood in silence for a moment.

Then, something clicked in Mewtwo's head.

"_I just remembered something I need to take care of. Goodbye._"

He then teleported off.

The other two shrugged at his absence.

Latios glanced at Zapdos.

"So, are you two getting along better??"

Zapdos shrugged.

"I dunno. Maybe?? Like, we've always hated each other, but we've been, like, bondin' lately. It's kinda weird."

"Any bonding is good bonding, my sister says." Latios mused.

"You two'll have to get along anyhow, all things considered."

That caught the bird's attention.

"...Eh...wha??"

"You know, since Mewtwo has a crush on your sister."

The next thing he knew, there was a bird face right in his own.

"Which. One."

Latios gulped.

"...Articuno. You didn't notice??"

Then, hellfire broke loose, and Zapdos unleashed electricity all over the place, barely missing his dragon companion.

When he finally stopped, he unleashed a roar.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY BABY SIS!!!"

Latios, recoiling, put up his claws in defense.

"Wait, wait, wait. I never said that. Merely that he's..._interested._"

Another angry cry came from the bird.

"IF IT HAD BEEN MOLTRÉS, I'D'VE JUST PITIED THE FOOL!!! BUT ARTICUNO?! NUH-UH. NO WAY!!!"

He then launched away with a screech.

"...What have I done."

**That's a good question, Latios.**

**I know this chappie is a bit short and 'bleh', but I'm _sorry. _I'm doing my best. Plus, I realize I haven't updated in a while, so I figure it's best I give y'all _something._**

**WPFOTD: People suspect that Game Freak wants everybody to ship Charmander and Chikorita, on the account that all of their teaser images for PMD are those two in a pair.**

**Progress on my Pokémon Sun Journey:**

**Blitz the Litten has evolved into Blitz the Torracat, I completed the bit with the ranch on the second island, I found an Eevee (Her name is Grace) in the tall grass, who replaced my Growlithe on my team; and I got the egg.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	24. Wise Advice

**Wassup.**

**Serpent: Don't worry, my friends already told me about the egg when I asked them where I could catch an Eevee. Thank you though!!!**

**And I get where you're coming from, I'm not necessarily obsessed with _grapes, _****but I do have many obsessions I'm protective of.**

**Also, thank you :) (About the Switch)**

**Mega: I hate to burst your bubble, buddy, but I'm afraid it wasn't you who directed me to _That Glaceon. _Around...two years ago, before I had an account, I was looking for GlaceonxUmbreon fanfics on Google, and lo and behold, there it was. I was actually thrilled when you said you read it, but forgot to address the topic. My bad.**

**About the ship, I always shipped Metwo and Articuno. But if you think Genesect's gonna let her man go without a fight, you're DEAD WRONG.**

**And trust me, Firelord's story is a good one ;)**

**Firelord: DUUUUUUUUUUUDE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!! If I had a computer, I could make a comic about it, but alas, I must resign to the land of mobile.**

**Stanmamamoo (did I spell that right??): Hey, welcome!! Glad you're enjoying the fic so far!!**

**lukekriebs: Thanks, and honestly?? He's probably gonna get murdered.**

**PK: Awww.**

**Chapter 24, I choose you!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

**_O/O/O/O_**

Virizion headed towards Dragonspiral Tower, a Zoroark leading her.

The two made idle chatter here and there, the dark type a very polite pokémon.

"Ah, here we are."

Indeed, the two stood before the massive--and in slight ruin--tower.

Virizion came to a stop, gazing up at it.

"Thank you for bringing me." The female spoke.

"It's no problem at all. Would you like me to lead you to the top??"

"No, that's quite alright. I believe I can find my own way."

Her tone grew more serious than it already was.

"No offence to you or anyone else, but this is a matter I would prefer to speak to Reshiram about by myself. Hence, why I deigned to come when Zekrom is away on his bowling team's tournament."

"Understandable." He replied, bowing to her. "I'll leave you to it."

"Thank you, N." She replied, turning and entering the tower.

_O/O/O/O_

30 minutes later, Reshiram heard knocking at her door.

Opening it up, she found Virizion, a tad disheveled, standing before her.

The green Legendary smiled up at her.

"Hello, Reshiram. Sorry to barge in, but do you have a moment??"

The female dragon smiled and moved aside, aloowing her in.

The room was decorated with lace curtains covering the windows, a wooden table in the center, and lush pillows surrounding said table.

Virizion trotted in, looking around.

"Thank you...this is a nice room. Very cozy."

"It's one of my private rooms, actually. Zekrom and I have them hidden all over, along with our bedrooms. Well, and our other necessary rooms, like the kitchen. I'm suprised you found it."

Virizion blushed slightly as she replied.

"I could hear you singing, actually. You have a lovely voice."

Reshiram chuckled.

"Thank you, dear. Now, have a seat."

The Unova Legendary nodded, taking a seat.

Reshiram floated out of the room, returning with her kettle and an extra teacup, along with two tea packets.

"Chamomile or Jasmine??"

"Chamomile, please."

Reshiram nodded, pouring in the water and dropping a packet in, giving it to Virizion.

Virizion sipped gratefully as Reshiram took the kettle away.

Returning, she sat across from her friend, placing her head on top of her crossed claws.

"What's on your mind, dear??"

Virizion set her cup down, staring into the abyss of liquid.

After spending a few moments thinking, she replied.

"...Reshiram, how long have you been alive??"

Reshiram was stumped at the question, going into thought herself.

"...Well, dear, that's a..._different _question with a different answer."

She took a breath.

"You see, Kyurem was one of the original eggs."

This caused the other to raise her head, looking at the dragon.

"That was at the start of creation, and, in a sense, there was no Zekrom or Reshiram."

She shifted.

"But, we were still within, in a way. But we weren't awakened until a millenium or two later."

"When Team Plasma came around??" Virizion asked.

"No, actually. We weren't--and still aren't--sure what initially brought us awake, but we were, and that was that.

"We were dormant, for a while. But, one day..."

She winced, clamping her eyes shut tight.

"I...I'm sorry. I can't talk about it. I...we..."

She felt a hoof on one of her claws.

She opened her eyes to see a sympathetic look on her friend's face.

"If you don't want to talk about a certain event, I understand."

Reshiram sighed, pushing the painful memories down within her psyche.

"I...thank you. I won't go into detail, but...well, let's just say that when we unfused, it was _not _an experience _anybody _wants to remember.

"We spent some time, separated. I'll tell you the full story another time, when we have such. But we enfused back eventually, letting Kyurem back into the world."

"Kyurem is a separate being from you two?? I thought you two just...had control over one body."

"Oh, no, no, no, no. Kyurem is separate.

"The first fusions and defusions were unpleasant and painful, and leaving us exhausted. Eventually, however, Kyurem...decided to let us be separate. For good."

She tapped her chin.

"That was...500 years before you and your brothers came around, I'd say."

She gave a chuckle.

"So, to answer your question, I'm old. Very old."

Virizion nodded, looking back into her cup.

A moment of silence passed.

"...Have you...ever had kids??"

Another silence passed.

"...Well, not my _own _kids, really, but I've had Pokémon and humans alike that were _like_ children to me."

Another nod.

"Did you ever...raise any of them?? As if they were your own??"

"Several, in a way, yes."

Another nod.

"Were you a good mom, do you think??"

The white beast pondered this.

"I had my ups and downs, lefts and rights. Some relationships went better than others, some went well and ended badly, some went bad and ended well. Some were special in their own way."

She sighed, remembering.

"But, what I feel was the most important part--well, of any relationship, really, is love."

"Love??"

Reshiram nodded.

"There are many forms of love, not just the romantic kind. There's _Eros, _which is romantic or sexual; _Ludus, _which is playful or flirtatious; _Philautia, _which is self-love; _Philia, _as in feeling part of a team; _Agapé, _which is unconditional..."

She sighed.

"There are many others, but the one that we _should _be discussing would be _Storge._"

"Storge??"

"Family love," the wise elder elaborated. "Or, in my case, a mother's love for her children."

She sipped her own tea.

"Love is the basis for _any _relationship. But _especially _for a family."

Virizion blinked, staring back into her teacup.

Another moment of silence passed.

The only sound in the room were the sway of the curtains as the outdoor breeze swayed them, and the sound of both Pokémon breathing.

When Virizion looked back up, she stared the dragon right in the eyes.

"...Do you regret anything?? About your children??"

Reshiram was taken aback by the question, going into thought.

"...Time."

Virizion tilted her head to the side.

Reshiram, eyes glazing over, elaborated.

"I regret not having enough time to spend with some, or not spending as much time as I could have with others. I regret their mortality, leading me to not be able to keep them longer."

A sad smile spread across her face.

"But; I cherish the memories I have, and I cherish the times I can spend with others. And I hope, in my heart, that one day..."

She closed her eyes and gave a happy sigh.

"Maybe, one day, Zekrom and I _will _be able to have children. Of our own, I mean."

Virizion sat in silence, staring back into her cup.

She stood suddenly, a smile spreading on her face.

"Thank you, Reshiram. I have to go, but I appreciate the talk. Again, sorry I showed up unnanounced."

"Don't feel bad, dear." The dragon waved a claw in the air. "I was feeling a tad lonely, with Zekrom being gone and all."

"Well, then I'm sorry to leave you." The deer replied, nuzzling her friend before taking her leave.

Pausing right before the door, she turned her head back.

"Thank you for the advice. I knew coming to you was the right choice."

She then bounded off, a new vigor in her step.

Reshiram looked back into her cup.

_*What was that all about...??__*_

_O/O/O/O_

Virizion arrived at Pinwheel Forest, where a frazzled Cobalion and an exasperated Terrakion greeted her.

"Firecrakers." Cobalion managed to spit out through his panting.

Virizion didn't need any other words; Keldeo and Victini had fireworks, and that was _not _gonna end well.

As she sprinted through the forest, Reshiram's words echoed in her mind.

"_I cherish the memories I have, and I cherish the times I can spend with others._"

**If only everyone did that.**

**I know, I know, another serious chapter?? Where's the crack??**

**It'll be back soon!! Calm down!!**

**Whew, anyways...**

**Personal N headcannon: N is a Zoroark who turned human, but do to Plasma brainwashing, believes that he is a human who can turn into a Zoroark. Team Plasma--and everyone else, really--are actually unaware of the truth and don't know he can transform at all.**

**WPFOTD: Solgaleo is supposed to be the male!form of Nebby, and Lunala the fem!version.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	25. A Drunken Summons

**Hi.**

**Ri2: THEY WERE HER ADOPTED KIDS, SHE HASN'T DONE THE FRICK-FRACK-SNICK-SNACK-WHIP-WHAP-PADDIE-WHACK WITH ANYBODY OTHER THAN ZEKROM. The reason she said that she hopes they can have kids of their own one day is because...**

**Zekrom...**

**Is...**

**..._Sterile_.**

***Insert "Dun Dun Duuuuuun", screaming people, gunshots, and fainting women here***

**Haha, yeah.**

***Cough* They will eventually *Cough* I am author I have power *Cough* They have twins *COUGH COUGH***

**Serpent: I did watch the direct a few days ago, actually. In regards to the new Doggos--well, I'm gonna cover that in the End-of-Chappie Authors Note.**

**And dude, your a Pokémon fan reviewing a Pokémon fic!! Don't feel bad, you're supposed to do that!! XD**

**lukekriebs: You flatter me. It's a gift.**

**Mega: Yeah, N isn't really one of my favorites either. But neither is Cyrus, but here we are.**

**Kyurem is still created through Z and R's fusion, that's why he hasn't made an appearance yet. Probably later.**

**PK: Yeah, Christmas Tree Man is a compete mess, ain't he??**

**Carrying on...**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"Telekinesis Talk."

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Mewtwo would have his own Sitcom.**

**_O/_****_O/O/O_**

Zapdos slammed his mug onto the bar, giving a burp/hiccup mix. Those hurt like Hell, as he now knows.

Latios laughed at him as Mewtwo chugged another glass.

The three were in human form, in a bar over in Hoenn somewhere.

"I have ta haaaaaaaaand it to ya, Latsiois," The bird drawled, hiccuping again. "Y'all got the best** *Burp*** dern liquier over here that I ever taaaaaaaaaaasteeeeeeeed..."

Mewtwo's glass slipped from his hand, shattering all over the floor.

He swayed slightly.

"You weren't lying when you said this stuff was good. And hard."

The clone gripped the bar, staring at the dancing Miltank that only he could see.

Latios was stretched out across said bar, guzzling down whiskey straight from the bottle.

After finishing it off, the bottle slipped from his hand, shattering on the floor, just as Mewtwo's had.

"We should do this more often," He burped.

So far, the three had plowed their way in here, danced (whether or not is was good dancing is not for me to judge) until their legs hurt, and drank until the couldn't see straight, as you can tell.

Oh, and the cheeseburgers. So many cheeseburgers...enough to make an American sick...

Case in point, they actually ended up having a pretty good time.

"And our sissies will neeeeeeeeeeeeeever find us," Zapdos drawled.

"No Latias, no Moltrés and Articuno, no Mew!" Latios farted.

Mewtwo, still swaying, was confused.

"Eh, Mew??"

"Well, you're her clone. So that makes you her brother, right??"

"Uhm...guess maybe?? I think not. She doesn't...uh...like me, I don't think."

Zapdos then fell off of his stool, luckily being out of reach of Mewtwo's glass's shards.

He jumped up, fell back down, jumped back up, and threw his hands in the air.

"Who wants ta go do somethin' stupid?!."

"Huh, he went a whole sentence without dragging out a word."

"Juuuuuuuuuuussssss' hear me out, boys." The disguised bird drawled, staggering back over.

He threw an arm around Mewtwo and pulled him down, so that the two's faces were right by Latios'.

"Mkayz, so, y'all know Arce-Arcey, riiiiiiiiiiiiight??."

"Yes," The two replied.

"Mkays, so, y'all *hic* know 'bout his plaaaaaaates, rights??"

"Yes..."

"Mkayay...haven't ch'all ever wanted oooooone??"

The two's eyes popped open.

"...Are you serious?"

"C'mooooooooooon, Latsie, ya know ya dooooo."

He looked away, the faint red on his face deepening.

"I will confess," Mewtwo began, "I have been...em...the word...what's word...word about wondering."

"Wondering??"

"Yeah, wondering, about the power and stuff. The, uh, coolness and stuff about the different types and stuff."

"Exaaaaaaaaaaaaaaactly!!" Zapdos hiccuped.

"So let's go get 'em!!!"

They stared at him.

Normally, they would have given it a second thought...

But, they aren't thinking straight, so here we are.

_O/O/O/O_

A crash echoed outside the Hall of Origin.

Lunala's eyes slowly fluttered open, the bat feeling groggy.

She assumed it was probably a wild Pokémon, so she attempted to snuggle back down and drift back to sleep.

However, several more crash sounds ensued, prompting her to tiredly drag herself out of the comforts of her blankets and look out the window.

She didn't expect to see much, save for maybe some wild Abomasnow having a brawl on the peak of the mountain, bear the bottom of the stairs.

She was wrong.

There were two Pokémon on the scene, one confusedly looking around and the other crawling out of a trash can. The one looking around was holding a medium-sized box. The one crawling out of the garbage can had a napsack around his neck.

Curious, she silently opened her window.

As she did, they started talking.

"Alright, we made it here without incident."

He glanced at Zapdos, who was busy trying to get one of those rings you put around the six-pack soda bottles at Walmart from around his leg.

"Well, ***hic* **mostly."

The bird eventually snapped it off with his beak, leading him to look around.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeey, where's Two at??"

His answer came in the form of a Noctowl soaring up from below, a certain clone on its back with his arms stretched out and him screaming/singing.

"**_I BELIEVE I CAN *hic* FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!!!!!_**

"

His serenade (accompanied by many voice cracks) was punctuated by a patriotic cry from the Noctowl, who dumped him off by the other two.

He did the rocker landing, sliding onto his knees and throwing his arms out.

The dragon and the bird stared at him.

"...Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, that was awesome."

"Can't you already fly, though??" Latios questioned.

Mewtwo's eyes popped open, and he looked at his hands.

".._.Whoah_."

"Mkie, y'all, let's get down to busineeeeeeeeees~"

"**_TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!!!_**"

They then drunkenly bolted...in the wrong direction.

"Wait!!! Other way!!!"

They turned around, sprinting around the wall.

Lunala stared for a moment, then shut her window and went back to bed.

Not before deciding to lay off the Shuckle juice a bit, though.

_O/O/O/__O_

_SHATTER!!!_

Glass shards sailed into the room.

"Guys!!! This is my ***hic*** room!!"

"Uh, yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah?? That's why we came this way??"

"WHY BREAK MY WINDOW?!"

Latios earned a weird-three-fingered-paw-thingie to his lips and a "_Shhhhhh_."

"But--"

"_Shhhh_."

"I--"

"_Shhhhhh._"

"You just--"

"_SHHHHHH_."

He groaned and gave up after that.

The three tumbled in through the space that used to be Latios' window, barely avoiding the glass shards.

Zapdos picked up a peice with his claw and stuck it in his sack.

"A'ight, step ***burp*** one compleeeeeeeeeeeeeete, babies!!!"

_O/O/O/O_

Raikou carefully made his way down the winding hallways of the West Wing, trying to find his and his brother's room.

His steps were made high and quiet, trying his hardest to get through undetected.

_*Okay, Mesprit and I were definitely out later than expected. What time even is it?! Yeesh!!*_

However, just as he passed Lunala's room, Latios' door, which was right across from hers, busted open, three idiotic and drunk Legendaries piling out of it.

The dog jumped into the air with a yelp, the three noticing his prescence.

"_It's Arceus_!!!" Mewtwo yelled, tackling him.

Zapdos and Latios leaned over, examining the dog's face.

He gagged at the overwheming stench of alchohol in their breath.

The two stared at him intently, "Hmmm..." sounding from them.

"Are you sure?? I think that's Solgaleo."

"Dude, no way, it's totally Pikachu--"

Lunala's door burst open, the bat's voice knocking them all back.

"_WHERE'S SOLGALEO_?!?!"

Raikou took the opportunity to bolt down the hallway, locking himself in a random bathroom for the night.

Upon realizing that her boyfriend was not present and still on the Bowling Tournament, she pouted and looked at the three.

Latios was suddenly in her face, prompting her to jump and float back a little.

The smell hit her nostrils.

"_Have you three been drinking_??"

"Yes, why?"

"_That explains it_."

And with that, she slammed her door in his face.

_O/O/O/O_

"Do we need an Ouija Board for this??"

Zapdos paused, mulling over that thought.

"...Naaaaaaaah, don't think so. Y'all got the spray paint??"

"I thought you had it."

"Theeeeeeen...what's in the napsack??"

"You have the napsack."

"Oh."

The bird shoved his beak into the bag and moved a few things around.

"Mkayeah, it's in here. Nooooooooow, where's the mirror??"

The other two paused.

"...Mirror??"

"Yeah, the mirror. I thought y'all had it."

Silence, then Mewtwo piped up.

"_I'll be right back_..."

He then teleported away, returning about 10 minutes later.

He was covered in what I really hope isn't blood, which was all over a school uniform, wearing a bib that says "Let's Party!!", and holding a slightly cracked baseball bat while wearing a red baseball cap.

He now had a full-body mirror with him.

"Aw, great!! Even better!!" Zapdos hopped from foot to foot.

"To the kitchen!!"

_O/O/O/O_

Regirock just wanted a midnight snack. Preferably a cupcake.

Regirock did not want to walk in on a dark summoning ritual...or whatever the heck this was.

The full body mirror lay on the ground, the reflective part pointing up at the ceiling; it was surrounded by a circle of unlit candles.

On the ceiling, three Pokémon were spray painting some kind of figure within a circle.

The paint was black, the rock type noted.

All of the lights were still off, Zapdos using a flashlight, clutched in his beak, for them to see.

A blacklight, Regirock noted.

Once the shapes were finished, Zapdos spat the flashlight back into the napsack.

"Mkayle, put the box in the middle of the mirror, 'Two."

Mewtwo did as instructed, dropping the box right in the center.

The mirror made a sound, but luckily didn't crack.

"A'iiiiiiiiight, let's get the--"

His eyes suddenky locked onto Regirock, who immediately wished it could go back to bed. Preferably with a cupcake.

"Eeeeeeeey, Rocky!! Long time no see!!"

Next thing it knew, Zapdos was perched on it's head, his slightly-crossed eyes staring at it upside down.

"We're a-summonin' Arceus!! To get plates!! Want oooooone?"

The rock made a series of clicks and beeps.

"***Burp*** Yeah, maybe I'm drunk, but it ain't thaaaat bad!"

He punctuated his sentence by burping so loud that the walls shook and the candles fell over.

Mewtwo set to placing them back as they were, whilst Latios stared at the two.

"I don't think we should ***hic*** tell her our plans."

"Aw, don't worry, Latsie. He knows how to keep quiet!! Right, rocky?"

The Regi did a "My lips are sealed" movement across it's face.

"Seeeeee??"

"Alright then, whatever. Can we just get on with it?"

Regirock suddenly found Zapdos' upside down face in its own once more.

"Mkladle Rocky, Imma need ya to stand back, but still stay here just ta make sure we don't get our souls sucked inta the eternal voiiiiiiiiiid, y'know?"

"_Wait, that could happen?_"

"Leeeeeaaaarn ta read the fine print, 'Two!!"

Latios glanced back at the Regi.

"What about her soul??"

"He ain't got one!! Riiiiiiiiiiight, Rocky??"

Regirock shifted it's head in what could be considered a nodding gesture.

"Wait what--"

"ONTO THE RITUAL!!!" The bird bellowed, leaping from the rock's head and back onto the ceiling.

Pulling out the shard of glass, he slashed Mewtwo's arm, leaving a long scar with blood.

"_WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!_."

"We need blood!! Have you never been to a seeeeáááánce?!"

"_NO, I HAVE _***hic***_ NOT!!! ALSO, QUICK QUESTION, WHY DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT DARK RITUALS?!_"

"I don't have to legaaaaaally answer that."

"Mewtwo, are you actually in pain?" Latios asked.

"_Well, actually, I can't feel physical pain. But blood loss is really bad and I don't wanna die surrounded by idiots._"

Regirock huffed, crossing it's arms.

"Oh, not you, sorry."

"Loooooooook, I may 'ave cut a little off--"

"_A LITTLE?!_"

"--buuuuuuuuuuut, since you so strong, it's better, and we'll patch ya up later. Now somebody light the candles."

Latios did just that, the flames illuminating the room.

"Thaaaaaaaat's the good stuff right there."

Regirock noted that the candles were scented.

"Opeeeeeeeeeeen the Mystery Box!!!"

Mewtwo dramatically flung the lid off.

"Alright, 'Two, let a drop of blood land in the box."

Mewtwo begrudgingly held his arm over the box, a drop of blood landing within.

"No more than one. Mkaykay, close yer eyes until ya hear a voice in your heads say ta open 'em."

"What--"

"Just do it!!"

They did so, and Regirock took the opportunity to make a run for it.

As much as it would hate for their souls to be sucked into the void for eternity, it wasn't about to get eaten by a demon.

It the dawned on the rock: It never did get that cupcake.

Zapdos began speaking in...a language?

It was old, forgotten, and indecipherable.

An empty wind began slowly blowing through the room, almost unnoticeable at first, but gradually building up.

The room began to get darker and darker, but the candles remained lit.

The shapes created on the ceiling began to twist and contort, creating shapes and vortexes unimagineable and incomprehensible to anyone's mind.

Zapdos had begun speaking quietly, but eventually reached a screaming volume, just barely able to be heard over the wind.

Fear was beginning to consume the other two, beginning to regret going along with this.

And then it all abruptedy stopped.

Well, to Mewtwo, anyways.

There was dead silence, the kind that creeped up your spine and lurked into your bones and ate away at your psyche.

There wasn't even any ringing.

And then there was a voice.

It seemed to be female, laced with innocence.

And that innocence was terrifying.

"_Open your eyes, **Mewtwo**_."

He did so, seemingly not of his own accord.

Darkness.

His head turned to and fro, as if his body was on autopilot.

And then he was turned around.

_O/O/O/O_

Latios was cold.

Freezing, in fact.

Somehow, he was rendered unable to shiver; it seemed his status had been affected.

He couldn't move at all, either.

Then, a firm, serious, but calm, and utterly terrifying female voice spoke in his head.

"_Open your eyes, **Latios**_."

His body did that for him, the dragon helpless as it went on seemingly autopilot.

The...'room' he was in was completely red, a crytalline texture in the walls.

It was as if he was within a gem.

There was a crippling sensation of familiarity for the dragon.

_*Have I been here before?*_

Behind him, something laughed.

His body turned around.

_O/O/O/O_

Suddenly, both Pokémon hit the ground with a thud.

They were back in the Kitchen.

However, the room was lit by another light, not by that of the candles.

Moltrés and Articuno were holding a spazzming Zapdos, whose eyes were glowing and was gargling inexplicably.

The two began chanting ominously, their own eyes glowing as they began making gestures.

After a few minutes, they hopped off of him, the electric type going still.

He shot up, panting, eyes back to normal..

"HOLY CRUDMUFFINS!!!!"

"He's back to normal." The two birds sighed in unison.

Moltrés got a whiff of the bird's sweat.

"Well, _almost_ normal. _Sober_, most definitely not."

Articuno facewinged with a groan.

"Zapdos, why are you doing rituals when you're _drunk_?!"

She looked at the other two, who were trying to untangle themselves from each other.

"Rephrase: Why are you doing rituals with _them_, while you're all_ drunk_?!"

"To get plates!!"

They stared at him.

"...Plates."

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah, plates!! Like the big guy!!"

"...Arceus' elemental plates."

"Duh!!"

Silence reigned over the room.

Moltrés looked up at the ceiling.

"Zapdos, is crossing the Threshold, nearly condemning those two's souls to the dark part of the Ether and possibly conjuring up something more unholy than Giratina really worth getting yourself a element plate?"

"Hey, we wasn't tryin' to get plates from this!!"

Both females looked back at him.

"We're doin' it to summon Arceus!!"

They both continued to stare at him.

If there was a world record for hardest slap on your drunk brother a 3am, Articuno would have it.

The bird went skidding into the body pile, sending them all further back.

"YOU IDIOTIC, INSUFFERABLE, INCONCEIVABLE, DEGERANTE--"

"Dang sis, calm down!!! And where did you learn so many words?!"

"_THE DICTIONARY!!! _I BET IF YOU FOOLS READ IT, YOU'D FIND YOUR NAMES UNDER THE WORD 'DUMBA'--"

"Articuno!! Language!!"

Suddenly, one of the microwaves' door flung itself open, Victini sticking his head out.

"Actually Moltrés, this fanfic is rated T, so swearing is technically allowed."

All 5 stared at him.

"_...How long have you been **in there??**_."

"I dunno, like 3 days??" The Victory-Pokémon shrugged.

"..._Why?_"

"Keldeo and I are playing Ultimate-Extreme-Neverending-You-Can't-Catch-Me-Hide-and-Seek-Tag!! **I will not lose.**"

And with that, he slammed the door.

It popped back open.

"Also, don't tell him I'm in here."

He slammed it again.

Silence again.

"Well," Latios began, "That _is _the broken one, so I doubt it'll be the first place he checks."

"Doubt it. Those two are weird, he might just do it."

Articuno sighed.

"You morons do realize Grandpa has a _room, **that he practically never leaves because we all suck, right?**_."

The three stared at her in awe.

"That's it!! I'm done!!"

She then angrily stormed out of the room.

Moltrés just shook her head.

"Go to bed, boys. And drink some water, hangover's are rather unpleasant."

She left as well.

They looked at each other.

After finally untangling themselves, they began cleaning up.

Or making it worse. You're guy's call.

"Hey Zapdos, what did she mean earlier by 'The Threshold'?" Latios questioned.

"Huh??"

"Moltrés said something about you crossing a threshold."

"Oh, that. Y'seeeeeee, there's what we call the 'Threshold' between life and death. Crossin' it prematurely ain't that good. I accidently did."

They stared at him in horror.

"_You **died?**_"

"That's a good question. Crossin' it's weird, but that wasn't the first time I have."

He went into thought.

"Say, what did y'all see when you almkst got condemned ta the dark side of the Ether??"

They both went into thought, but said thoughts came out blank.

"You know, I can't remember."

"_Me neither._"

"Huh. Weird."

As he scrubbed the ceiling, Zapdos realized something.

"Hey guys?"

"**Yeah??**"

"I mixed up a couple different rituals, and neither was the one we shoulda done."

They both groaned.

As they continued cleaning, none of them noticed the small, blue light that escaped the Mystery Box and floated off into the night.

**Hey guys.**

**Look, I'm really sorry this took so long. I was having a little trouble with it before, but then...**

**Well, my Aunt died. So we had to deal with all that. We already had the funeral and such, so we've said our goodbyes.**

**So yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks.**

**But, updates should be better, now. So never fear!**

**Alright, so as I said in the Beggining Chappie Authors Note, I'm gonna cover the newest Doggos here.**

**Sadly, they will not be appearing in this fanfic for a while.**

**Why?**

**Simple. When the game comes out, we can get soem of their lore, their types, stats, etc. Pretty much my own personal needs. And, as we learn more about them, I can get a feel for what I want their personalities to be like.**

**So yeah, no doggos for now. Later, perhaps.**

**Also, question: Anybody else get a Lycanroc vibe from those two?? Or was tht just me??**

**WPFOTD: Mewtwo is #150 in the Pokédex, and Mew is #151. We were actually introduced to Mewtwo _before _Mew, even though Mewtwo is the clone. So, in essence, we never even knew what Mew was until _after _Mewtwo.** **Unless you glitched your game, of course.**

**(I actually figured that out by myself!!)**

**Pkm Sun Progress: In the middle of Lana's trial. Caught me a new fishy.**

**See ya next chappie, guys.**


	26. Lavender Luncheon

**Heyyo.**

**Real quick, thank you guys for all the condolences about my Aunt. I really appreciate it :)**

**lukekriebs: Fun isn't quite the word I would use...but hey, I've never done a seánce in real life, so I can't say for sure.**

**Ri2: Yeah, they're dumb. As for what they encountered, _you'll see later~_**

**PK: ****Mewto's outfit when he returned was actually a reference to 3 different fandoms. Earthbound, Yandere Simulator, and Fnaf. Glad somebody caught at least one!!**

**Serpent: I'm sorry about your dog :(**

**Yeaaaaaah, I wouldn't suggest playing with them, it gets...well...oh, you'll see.**

**Mega: Enjoy your holiday, dude!!**

**As for Zapdos...well...let's just say some stuff went down offscreen you guys might not wanna see...plus, they were _drunk, _so I don't think he cared too much.**

**Uh...no, Kyurem _exists, _he just hasn't actually made an appearance here because Reshiram and Zekrom are unfused. I was actually gonna make them refuse in a later chappie so that he would appear.**

***Cough* he becomes his own once more in a future fic *COUGH COUGH***

**Let's get on with it, shall we??**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, Dragonite would have a Mega Evolution by now._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

"They actually _did that?!_"

Moltrés groaned and nodded at Mesprit's suprise.

"Believe you me, it was not an experience I would like to repeat. Ugh, especially with how _bad _they smelt."

Mesprit tilted her head to the side.

"But what about those scented candles??"

"Dear, with how strong those three's musk was, not even an army of Bounsweet could drown it out."

The two were on a hill overlooking Lavender town, a round table separating the two as they sat in chairs.

The table itself was decorated with a nice pink tablecloth, a teaset, and several hors d'oeuvres set out.

Moltres wore a dark pink sunhat, adorned with several flowers; around her neck was a simple scarf, luckily more for decoration than heat.

Mesprit also wore a sunhat, a simple yellow that matched her pink tones.

She happened to glance up at Moltrés' hat, a question popping up in her mind.

"Say, Moltrés...how is your hat not on fire?"

Moltres set her tea down.

"Oh, it's fireproof. It was specially made in Jhoto. Entei gave it to me for my birthday last year!"

Mesprit internally chuckled.

"Oh, that's nice."

She picked up a cupcake and began munching on it, another question popping up in her brain.

"Erm, how did you and Articuno know what was going on??"

"Hm? Oh, Regirock tipped us off. Poor dear just wanted a cupcake."

The water spirit chuckled, nodding.

Finishing off her cupcake, she looked down at Lavender Town.

"Doesn't MissingNo live there??"

The firey bird looked down at the town as well.

"I believe so, yes. In the..."

She frowned.

"In the tower, I believe."

She shifted uncomfortably.

Mesprit continued to gaze upon Lavender Town.

"You know, I can't hear it now, but whenever I go into the town, I hear..."

"Music??"

"Yes, music. It's odd music; dark and chilling, but in a way..."

She shifted, still looking.

"...It's rather soothing."

Moltrés looked back at the town as well.

"...Really? It makes me very..._uneasy_..."

The spirit finally looked away.

"What's in that tower anyhow??" She asked, taking a drink.

"The graveyard."

Luckily, Mesprit's spit take missed the food.

"_That's _where it is?! But that tower's _huge!!_"

"It is, isn't it?"

The pink blob spluttered, looking back at the tower.

"I mean...I mean, we have a graveyard in Sinnoh as well, but it's nowhere _near _**_that big!! _**And I'm pretty sure we only bury Pokémon there..."

"Oh, we do too, dear."

"_I'm sorry **what--**_"

"S-S0rry, aM I iNtter-r-rupptiNg aNyTH1ng??"

Both jumped and looked to the side to find MissingNo floating nearby.

"MissingNo!! Dearest!! Here, come sit with us." Moltrés gestured to the extra chair.

"O-0h, I w-w0UlDn't wAnT t-to iMp0se..."

"Oh, you won't be at all!!" Mesprit interjected. "We have enough for three; Reshiram was going to join us, but the poor thing got a bad case of food poisioning from some apparently unripe Pecha Berries."

"0h, th-thaT'S tO0 bAd..."

"Alas, it is. But Mesprit and I _insist _you join us, and I won't be taking no for an answer!"

MissingNo gave what appeared to be a shrug and sat down.

"So how have you been, dear?? We haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah," Mesprit agreed. "It's been a while."

"O-0h, I'Ve beeN bUsy witH s0me...'fAmiLy matt3rs'."

"Oh, that's understandable, dear."

She sipped her tea, then spotted a neat, shiny, black envelope.

"So, what were you off too, dear? I see you have a card."

Mesprit gained a mischevious grin at the firey bird's statement.

"Is that a _love note~?_"

"WhAt?! N-N0!! It'S jUst a d-dInn3r 1nviTaTion!!"

"_For a boooooooooy~???_."

"N0!!! FoR M-MeW!!"

The other two spared a glance.

"Well, dear," Moltrés began, "I must say, I wouldn't have expected you to, as my sister puts it, "swing that way", but we completely under--"

"**N-N0 M¥ "FAM1LY" W-W-WAnT'$ T0 M33T HER!!! _I M-MA¥ N0T L00K STRA1GHT B-BUT 1 Am!!!_**"

"Oh, my bad dear, sorry about that."

"0-Oh, iT's fin3."

Mesprit leaned forward once more, having been blown back by MissingNo's wrath.

"W-Well, I'm afraid Mew's off on the Bowling Tournament, so you might have to wait to give it to her."

"0h, tHAt wAs _th-th1s _w3Ek?! D-DaRnit!! 1'LL haVe to t-t3ll Gh0st th-thAt..."

Not many knew too much about MissingNo's 'Family', as she put it, but they had heard a few names. "Ghost" was one of them, and she spoke of it like he was the family leader.

Moltrés recalled one time where she had run into an Eevee with black eyes--with what looked like blood trailing from them--and what looked to be a shiny half-Eevee half-Espeon that had been looking for MissingNo. Said glitch had shooed them away hurriedly, saying that she would be home in a little while.

That perplexed the bird, but MissingNo had said she would introduce them properly when the time was right.

Moltrés was still concerned about that Shiny, though. That _couldn't _have been comfortable. And that Eevee probably needed to see a medic.

But, alas, MissingNo said that it was fine and not to worry about it.

Alright then.

Moltrés was pulled from her musings by MissingNo, who was asking a question.

"$o wh0 aLL w3nT t0 thE touRnAmEnt??"

Mesprit counted on her tentacles.

"Let me see...Zekrom, Solgaleo, Mew, both of my sisters, Yveltal, and Xerneas."

MissinNo twitched, probably the equivalent of a head tilt.

"I thOUght yOu 0nlY n3eded 4 p-pe0ple f0r a t-t3am..."

"Well, from what I understand, Zekrom, Azelf, Xerneas and Yveltal are the main team. However, Yveltal and Solgaleo rotate between games as to who plays. Uxie and Mew are backups, and Mew likes to provide...ahem..._moral support._"

She shuddered.

MissingNo pondered that.

"H-Huh."

A mischevious grin spread across the bird's face.

"Well, MissingNo, you said you were into males, hm?"

"Um...¥-¥eS??"

She placed her head on her wings, which had been crossed on the table.

"So, has anyone..._caught your pixels??_"

MissingNo had made the mistake of taking a drink at that moment, causing a spit-take _and _for her to drop the glass.

Mesprit dived in and caught it before it shattered on the ground, placing it back on the table and pouring more tea in.

Once again, the spit-take had missed the food. Huh.

"I'd like to hear the answer for that as well, MissingNo~" Mesprit purred, placing her head on her tentacles in a similar manner.

The glitch Pokémon began to shrink in size.

"U-Uh...w3LL...eH..."

"You can tell us, dearie!! We won't say a thing~"

"ACt-t-tuAll¥..."

_KA-**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!**_

All three whipped around to find Keldeo, firing angry beams of fire from his horn, bounding across the mountaintops after Victini, who soared across the sky, yelling.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!"

"I DON'T INTEND TO!!"

"WAIT _WHAT--_"

"**BOYS!!**"

The two came to a screeching halt.

Moltrés sighed.

"What are you two doing??"

The two idiots gave her stupid grins.

"Ultimate-Extreme-Neverending-You-Can't-Catch-Me-Hide-and-Seek-Tag!"

After staring at her a moment, she sighed, pointing towards the town.

"Well, please be careful, and maybe take it elsewhere. There are people mourning at the Tower."

The two squinted at Lavender Town.

"Oh, sorry!!"

Keldeo looked at Mesprit and MissingNo.

A dapper grin plastered itself on his face.

"Hi Mesprit!! _Hi MissingNo!!_"

Mesprit chuckled, waving at him, and MissingNo transformed into a Glaceon to wave.

He looked back at Victini, only to find that his friend had gotten a head start and was well on his way back in the direction they had come from.

The water spirit glanced at MissingNo, not missing the faint blush that was on her face before she changed back into her natural form.

"Oh~ho~ho~ho, I see you, MissingNo~"

She jumped, looking at her.

"Eh--wHat?!"

Mesprit purred.

"Keldeo? I didn't quite see that one coming, but I'll approve nonetheless~"

"kEl--I--_n-no--_"

"I didn't see that coming either," Moltrés deadpanned as she stared wide-eyed into the void.

The pink blob turned to her.

"Well, if it makes MissingNo happy, _I _say we support her, right Moltrés??"

"Uh-huh."

As the fire deity stared into the void, MissingNo shifted into a Tauros.

"IT'$ B33N FuN G1RLS, BYYYYYYYYYYYYY3!!!!"

She snatched up her card in her mouth and dashed off, speeding towards Lavender Town with a speed that could rival a Pidgeot.

Mesprit chuckled, glancing back at Moltrés.

She continued to stare into the void.

"Moltrés, Missing has left. Are you...uh...alright??"

"I hear wedding bells and the devil himself is the orchestrator."

Mesprit shifted uncomfortably.

"Al...right...then..."

Moltrés snapped out of her trance, the void fading from her vision.

"So, Mesprit..._any boy for you?? _You oughta have them lined up, with as nice of a girl as you are..."

_*DON'TTELLHERABOUTRAIKOUBYACCIDENTDON'TTELLHERABOUTRAIKOUBYACCIDENTDON'TTELLHERABOUTRAIKOUBYACCIDENT--*_

"Oh, maybe there is, maybe there isn't..."

And it was in that moment, Mesprit knew by the look on the bird's face...

She screwed up big time.

**Yes you did, Mesprit XD.**

**Ship opinions, go.**

**WPFOTD: We're getting a Corgi Pokemon, people!!**

**See ya next chappie, guys.**


	27. Kids, AmIRight?

**Hey y'all.**

**Firelord: Thank you!**

**Serpent: Aww, Corgi. Is that a pun? I hate puns.**

**Ri2: Oh come on man _you know she looks like one--_**

**lukekriebs: You have no idea.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, _Pokémon Gun _would be a real thing.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

"--So, in conclusion, the multiverse theory..."

The others present leaned in, eagerly awaiting Lugia's verdict.

"..._may or may not be true_."

They fell back with groans of annoyance.

"Dude," Palkia muttered. "All that buildup for _that?_"

The water bird smirked.

"That's what I'm _telling _you. Who knows what I _really _found?"

"_I do_." Arceus muttered.

"Because I _told _you," Lugia replied, looking over his shoulder at his creator.

"_True, but I had a pretty good idea already. You just, as everyone says nowdays, 'Sealed the Deal'_."

"Hold on," Cyrus piped up. "Giratina has the Distortion World. Doesn't that count as another universe?"

"Erm, no, I don't think so, actually." Giratina replied, rubbing the back of his neck with a wing. "It's more of an expanded pocket dimension."

This caught everyone's attention.

"_Pocket dimension?!_"

"Well, I mean, it _started out _that way. But at this point it's more or less an endless yet ending void of confusion."

"Truth." Palkia agreed, Dialga giving a nod of agreement.

"Wait, does that mean pocket dimensions are up for grabs?!" Victini exclaimed looking at Arceus with wide eyes.

"_Well...I suppose so_," The Llama God replied, rubbing the underside of his chin with a golden-clad hoof.

"_Of course, access is debatable, as having certain powers--_"

However, Keldeo and Victini had already bolted out of the room.

Terrakion, Virizion, and Cobalion all groaned and exited the room, muttering something about kids...and firecrackers...?

Welp.

As the others badgered Lugia, Mesprit sidled up to Raikou.

She lowered her voice to a husky whisper.

"I wonder what kinda of other universes there are...don't you?"

She winked suggestively.

He looked away, hoping to avoid showing her the red on his face.

"Oh, I'll bet there's one where I'm a male and you're a female! _That _would be interesting~"

He swallowed hard.

"Maybe you're a wailord and I'm a skitty!!"

He then slammed a paw over his mouth, immediately realizing that he essentially just called his secret girlfriend fat.

She, however, burst out laughing.

"I'll never get over some of those egg groups," The pink blob giggled.

"Hehe...me neither."

Ho-oh, perched on the back of a chair, noticed the two (Unbeknowest to them, of course).

She smirked, glancing at Suicune and Entei.

The two were too caught up in arguing about the multiverse to notice her or their brother's antics.

She cooed, flapping over to Lugia's side and nuzzling him.

"Look at my kids. All grown up. And my boyfriend. Making big ol' scientific discoveries. I'm so proud."

"I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or genuine, but I honestly don't care too much," Lugia replied, nuzzling her as well.

_*Maybe I can sneak her away real quick...*_

"Say, dearest, could we talk in private for a minute? There's somwthing I've been wanting to ask--"

However, the heartfelt moment was cut short as several explosions echoed in the distance, followed a choir of really old ladies and an angry light show. Oh, and fireworks.

All had gathered at a window to see, the light show eventually subsiding.

"What the heck was _that?_" Celebi wondered aloud.

Lugia sighed, knowing what direction it had all come from.

"_My _kids."

_O/O/O/O_

Zapdos gave a hard inhale, the soot covering his body and invading his lungs causing him to cough.

Looking up at the mass of rubble covering himself, it took him a moment to regain his mindset.

A soot-covered Mewtwo descended in front of him.

Zapdos looled up at the clone.

"Eh...so, that didn' really go accordin' ta plan."

"**You're dang right it didn't.**"

Both lifted their heads to find, as usual, a very angry Articuno flapping above them. Only now, she was covered in soot as well.

Her signature eye twitch occured, a low growl coming from her throat.

She angrily descended, attempting to dust herself off.

"MY FEATHERS!! MY BEAUTIFUL FLAMES!! MY GORGEUS FIGURE!! _MY AURA OF GRACE!! _WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"

Moltrés' wails elicted eye-rolls from the three.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Articuno muttered under her breath as her grey-stained coat remained that way.

The fire-bird descended, wailing and crying her eyes out.

She, too, was covered in soot.

Zapdos felt a small pang of guilt at seeing his sister cry, but did his best not to show it. She _was _rather dramatic, after all.

Articuno plucked out one of her feathers.

Spitting it out, she directed a glare at her sister.

"Moltrés, number one, nobody can see your feathers half the time; number two, your flames look like regular flames, it's only when you _make _them all extravagant and crap that they actually look beautiful; three, _you're a bird. If you want a summef body go to an actual Gym. Oh wait, **YOU'RE A POKÉMON AND CAN'T ACTUALLY WORK OUT!! AND ABOUT THAT 'AURA OF GRACE'--**_"

"That's enough, Articuno."

All heads looked up to find Lugia descending upon them.

Upon landing, he looked at the four and sighed.

"Dare I _ask?_"

The siblings immediately broke into their own explanations, each trying to be the dominant story.

"Zados supercharged the fireworks--"

"Articuno set off the strobe lights--"

"Moltrés the Almighty 'ere was the one who caused them explosions--"

"_I didn't know the bus was full of old ladies I swear!!_"

As the birds continued to yell, Lugia turned his mortified attention to Mewtwo.

"_I mean, they all **lived, **__I just feel bad. And I paid all their hospital bills_," The clone shrugged.

The water bird blinked.

"_I mean, there wasn't much to pay, considering most of them were unscathed. But I have a lot of respect for old ladies, you know?_"

More blinking.

"...How did you pay that so fast?"

"_Oh, I just combined Extreme Speed with Teleport, then combined Payday with some of my Amulet Coins._"

"..._What?_"

"You can learn Extreme Speed?"

"_I don't think so._"

"...What?"

"_I don't think I can learn Payday either. Teleport is iffy, as I'm a psychic type but never really bothered to check that one._"

"...But...how...how did..."

Mewtwo shrugged.

"_I was chatting with Victini a few days ago. He taught me some tricks._"

The baffled Lugia gave a confused squack.

He then facewinged.

"Accursed idiotic existence-breaking tiny legendaries..."

Then, something else Mewtwo had said caught his attention.

"Wait, _some _of your Amulet Coins? How many do you _have_?"

Mewtwo would not meet his gaze.

"...Mewtwo?"

"_Let's just say I have a small hoarding problem...__**and it goes beyond Amulet Coins**..._"

"...Alright then..."

Turning his attention back to the trio, he gave a whistle.

They ceased their arguing.

"Alright. Let's get you four cleaned up..."

He took a deep breath.

The birds braced themselves for impact while Mewtwo looked a bit lost.

He realized what was happening when the massive amount of water blasted him.

_O/O/O/O_

**L****ater...**

Mewtwo's eyes snapped open, his body reflexively jumping up.

However, he ended up flopping back down.

His eyes were clouded by a foggy substance, sending him into panic mode.

However, with some blinking, it cleared away.

He found that he was merely in a...hot spring?

Zapdos was across from him, his head laid back on the rocky edges.

Upon hearing Mewtwo's splashing, he raised his head.

"Oh, yer 'wake. Cool."

Mewtwo blinked, looking around once more.

They seemed to be in a cave of sorts, perhaps in a volcano.

".._Where_\--"

"Moltrés hot springs. Up in Mount Ember."

His head whipped around to find a not-too-happy-looking Articuno walking over.

She stepped onto the edge right by him, glancing down at the clone.

"Scoot over."

It wasn't a suggestion, nor a question.

He complied, sliding his sluggish body to the side.

Articuno nochalantly stepped off the ledge, plopping down into the heated water.

Mewtwo's eyes widened.

"_Articuno, you're an ice--?_"

She looked at him, one eye half-lidded and the other mostly shut. Her feathers poked put in different directions.

In summary: She looked absolutey done with life in general.

"Moltrés did something to the water. Ask her. But if Uncle Lugia hasn't killed me via water blasting by now, I think I'm fine."

She scowled as she gazed down at the water.

"And I _need _some relaxation."

And with that, she copied her brother, stretching her wings out across the ledges and sinking into the natural tub.

Mewtwo blinked.

"_Where's--_"

He was cut off by an annoyed grunt.

Looking up, he found Moltrés standing on the ledge next to Zapdos.

She was clad in a purple bathrobe, her flames seemed a bit smaller than usual, and she shared the same look of being done as her sister, only containing more annoyance.

She pulled the robe off and descended into the spring.

The water bubbled, becoming warmer with the bird's prescence.

"_Moltrés, you're a fire--_"

"These springs have special effects," the bird cut him off. "Relaxation and healing. Since this is my mountain, I have the authority to do what I want. And since many trainers and elderly people like to come up, I've adapted them to accomodate all types so nobody gets hurt while trying relax."

She did not look up, merely continuing to glare at the steaming water.

Mewtwo looked at it as well, trying to move around.

His body was overly sluggish for some reason.

He then noticed Zapdos glaring at him.

He raised a brow, but then realized:

Articuno was rather close to him.

Like, _really _close.

And Zapdos was the angry older brother.

Crud.

He went to slide away, but, as previously mentioned, his body was overly sluggish, which caused him to fall face-first into the water.

A claw pulled him out.

He twitched, lifting a slow arm to rub his face.

"_Why--_"

"Ya got knocked out from Uncle. He used _really _cold water ta get the stuff off. Then he gave us a lecture 'bout fire safety 'n stuff fer three hours. All's of us were 'most icicles by then, so Moltrés suggested we come up here. Ya weren't really movin' too much, so we said that if ya didn't wake up in an hour you were dead."

The clone's eyes widened.

"_How--_"

"Fifty-seven minutes." Articuno replied.

Mewtwo shuddered, the image of waking up in a grave crossing his mind.

"That's what _we _were thinking," Moltrés stated, seeing him shudder.

Silence reigned for a while.

Mewtwo's mind drifted to each of the birds, thoughts rolling around in his head.

Eventually, Articuno spoke up.

"Should we play a game or something?"

They all looked at her.

"I mean, I think we can all agree that we're gonna be here a while. Better pass the time."

The other birds looked at each other and shrugged.

Mewtwo agreed.

"Alrighty, this is a game where..."

_O/O/O/O_

Lugia slumped his head down on the Dining Hall's table.

"What am I gonna do with those kids..."

Virizion flopped down into the chair next to him, mimicking his position.

"I feel you."

He let out a squack of defeat.

**You just can't win with rowdy kids.**

**Hey guys, question: Does anybody know what happened to Ash Jason? Like, is he dead? 'Cause he randomly stopped reviewing a while back, and when a member of the review crew vanishes I notice. And I dunno who knows who in real life or whatever.**

**WPFOTD: Pikachu used to be a chunky boi. Now look at him.**

**Oh, I got White 2 a week or so ago. I picked Snivy. Say, anybody know where I can get Eevee on there?**

**Welp, See ya next Chappie!!**


	28. Crazy Influences

**_Guess who missed her own FF anniversary!!_**

**I'm not even kidding (insert laughing emoji here because Fanfiction forbids emojis on mobile)**

**July 27, 2018, the glorius day this forsaken site was cursed with my accursed prescence.**

**I know y'all may not care, but I felt like sharing.**

**TO THE CHAPTER!!**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon...two words: Amusement Park._**

**_O/O/O/O_**

"No, that won't work either."

Rayquaza let out an annoyed groan, folding up the peice of paper and flinging it away.

"_Latios, _you have rejected _every idea so far. _PLEASE make up your mind so that I can get a girlfriend in the next ten years!!"

Latios, who sat across the table, gripped the sides of his head and shook it.

"No...no rollercoasters either..."

Rayquaza raised a brow.

"Rollercoasters?"

The blue dragon reached out and snagged another peice of paper, drawing a really weird diagram.

"Maybe if we get a firetruck involved..."

This bothered the green dragon.

"A _firetruck, _Latios."

The other continued to ignore him, ripping the paper in half and grabbing another.

"Fireworks? _Fireworks._"

Rayquaza's eye twitched.

"**Latios!!**"

The younger dragon's head snapped up.

"Yes?"

The giant snake sighed.

"What are you _talking about?_."

Latios blinked, then looked back down at his papers.

"The plan, of course. What else?"

The snake blinked.

He then let out a groan and rubbed his temples.

"Latios, listen to yourself. Firetrucks and fireworks? _Really?!_"

Latios rubbed his chin.

"That sounds like some sort of pageant for firemen."

Rayquaza paused.

"It does, doesn't it?"

"..._But it's not the point of this conversation!!_"

He slammed his claws onto the table.

"Latios, you sound like a crazy person. Which, all things considered, you probably _are, _but _still_."

The blue dragon raised a brow, crossing his arms.

"Really?"

"YES!!" Rayquaza threw his arms in the air.

"Normally you would sit back and silently judge the stupidity of everybody else, but now you've become crazy yourself it seems!!"

His companion tilted his head to the side.

"I'm just..._worried _about you, Latios. You've just...you've never acted like this before. At least, not before that..."

He went into thought, trying to place when the dragon's odd behavior had begun.

And then it clicked in his brain.

His eyes went wide.

"..._Internet Challenge Business..._"

Latios didn't seem to understand.

The elder dragon wagged his head back and forth.

"Like I said, I'm just...concerned."

Latios nodded.

"I appreciate it, Rayquaza."

He began gathering up his papers.

"How about we discuss this another time? You seem a bit pale."

Indeed, the color had drained from Rayquaza's face when he had hit the revelation.

"Oh, do I? Then perhaps it would be good for you to come back another time."

The blue dragon nodded, saying goodbye and exiting the tower.

Rayquaza rubbed his temples.

_O/O/O/O_

"--and then I noticed that he was getting pale, so I left."

Latios finished recounting the events to Zapdos and Mewtwo.

The three were in Mewtwo's cave, sitting around a table and gorging themselves on some leftover cake Moltrés had given Zapdos from some tea party she had thrown.

"_Well, that's odd_." Mewtwo quipped, wiping the place where his mouth would be with a napkin.

"I know. I'm still confused as to what he was saying about me being different. I mean, I still silently judge everybody's stupidity."

Zapdos then proceeded to burp so loud it shook the cave; however, he still had cake in his mouth, so he then choked on that, so Mewtwo had to perform the heimlich manuever on him.

Luckily, he ended up swallowing it.

Latios stared.

_***Especially **__yours, Zapdos.__*_

After Mewtwo dumped him back on the table, and groaning a thanks to the clone, Zapdos piped up.

"Wait, so y'all're tryin' to help each other get chicks?"

Latios rolled his eyes and nodded.

"I'm helping him out with my sister, and he's helping me out with..."

He trailed off, not wanting to say it.

The other two rolled their eyes.

"**MissingNo.**"

He went wide-eyed.

"Ya 'member how after we all got drunk that time and did that seancé thing, we all ended up in the same room with hangovers?"

He nodded.

"_You talk in your sleep._"

"...Oh."

Silence for a moment.

Then, Latios narrowed his eyes.

"Wait, I like MissingNo, Mewtwo likes Articuno--"

Cue growling from Zapdos.

"--Then that leaves one of us, doesn't it?"

He and Mewtwo both turned to Zapdos.

"...What?"

"_Well, who is it?_" Mewtwo asked.

"Who's wha?"

When the others stared at him, it clicked.

"Oh, _that. _Well, actually, I'm a member of the "We're-Gonna-Die-Alone-an'-We-Know-It Club"."

"..._The **what?**_"

"The "We're-Gonna-Die-Alone-an'-We-Know-It Club"."

The other two looked at each other.

"It's kin'a weird sometimes, but mos'ly 'cause of the members."

"The members?"

Zapdos nodded.

"Y'see, every meetin' is a disaster, because after we're all doin' what we usually do, somethin' gets thrown across the room and sets ev'rybody off."

"_Well, what do you all usually do...?_"

"Eheh...well, it's kinda a mess: Suicune stands on a table and screams about how 'e shouldn't be there and why don't the ladies love 'im, etc etc;

"Deoxys stands in a corner and eats whateva snacks we got out and silently judges us all and endures 'is own inner turmoil;

"The Dragon Trio sing sad songs with Phione and Jirachi while doin' complex dance numbers;

"Three o' the Regis--y'know, the tinier ones--all sit around a table shakin' and tickin' while makin' this real high-pitched siren noise that ya can barely hear, but ya can, and its weird;

"Meloetta and I pretty much just sit at a table and chug until we can't see straight. Oh, and Victini sits in a corner wrapped up in a blanket an' just...cries 'is eyes out. Like...the whole time. Even after we all snap an' start throwin' stuff at each other."

The two stared at him.

"We meet once a month, if yer wonderin'. Just ta, as Suicune puts it, "Purge ourselves of our inner loneliness an' despair"."

He was met with blinking.

"Uh...you twos alright?"

"_I'm not sure if that's just plain sad or if you all need serious therapy._" Mewtwo stated, still blinking.

"Eh, both, prob'ly."

He took another chunk of cake.

Latios cleared his throat.

"Well, Zapdos, putting your..._apparently absolutely depressing _future and future bedside aside, do you two...I don't know...have any advice? You know, for me and Rayquaza?"

The clone and the bird looked at each other.

They then nodded in unison, looking back at Latios.

"Speedboats and firecrackers."

A grin spread across the dragon's face.

"I knew I could count on you two."

_O/O/O/O_

Rayquaza lowered the binoculars, a completely and utterly terrified look plastered on his face.

"Well, I was right about one thing: It's those two's influence that's destroying his brain cells little by little. And now I need to go destroy every speedboat in Hoenn. And possibly get all firecrackers banned."

He glanced around.

"Aaaaaaaand I'm talking to myself again. Great."

**Don't feel bad Ray, we all do it at some point. Some of us *cough* me *cough* just do it more than we probably should.**

**If you're wondering about why Rayquaza was stalking Latios, it was because he expected him to go to Mewtwo and Zapdos and was scared he would take their advice. Which he did, hence the last few lines.**

**And, of course, he's scared of the influence of the crazies.**

**If you're wondering why Meloetta is in the WGDAAWKI Club, she refuses all love after Mew's brother and since he's dead, she's technically dying alone. The others were happy to take her.**

**If you're wondering anything regarding MissingNo's--or heck, anyone else's--ships, just keep mind:**

**_I am an absolute nutjob and shippings are just the tip of the iceberg._**

**WPFOTD: In Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, you can do a really, _REALLY _complicated glitch to get either Darkrai or Shaymin. It's overall the same process, only going in another direction and different steps after said direction depending on which one you want.**

**I once tried for Drakrai, but it turns out I'm crap at tweaking and couldn't get past the first step XD**

**But hey, I didn't wanna risk my file anyhow. Love my babies too much.**

**Thank you to CryoPotato for reminding me of this fact and distant memory.**

**See y'all next Chappie!!**


	29. Returns & Understanding

**Eyyyyyyyyyyyy.**

**Guest: Brutis: *Strokes chin thoughtfully* ...NOTHING!!!!**

**Hehe,**** I miss that.**

**This girl is a good friend of mine, she and her twin had to move to Korea. Huge bummer. Love you guys, hugs from Misery!!**

**And NO PUNS IN MY REVIEWS SECTION KK.**

**lukekriebs: Yeah, it's pretty sad. I'm in that club if it existed in real life.**

**Serpent: Yay, you're back!! And no promises on those firecrackers.**

**Firelord: ;)**

**Guest(I'm assuming you're CryoPotato): Happy to hear it!**

**PK: *Looks away sweating* Hahaha yeah we're all human here hehehehehehe...**

**Let's start the story, eh?**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

**_'Telepathic Chatter' _**(aka, talking to each other via telekinesis inside of each other's heads)

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, _****_THE CARD TYPINGS WOULD BE CORRECT!!!_**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Lunala unleashed a wail, burying her face into a bedsheet.

Zyra, in her 10% forme, frowned.

She padded into the room, nudging Lunala with her muzzle.

"Lunala, I _know _you miss him, but this is a little..."

She glanced around the room.

"..._extreme_."

The two were in Solgaleo's room, Lunala having taken every single item the former owned and using them to create a giant mold of him.

All that remained was a bedsheet, which Lunala had been smelling before she started to cry.

The giant bat let out another cry.

The Zygarde sighed, plopping down and nuzzling her.

"Luna, sweetie, he'll be back soon. Tomorrow, right?"

The moon Pokémon sniffled.

"_They were **delayed!!**_" She moaned. "_It's the day **after **tomorrow!!_"

Zyra tilted her head to the side.

"That's not so bad--"

"_YES IT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!_"

The green Pokemon sighed.

"I don't see why you're so broken up about it," she continued. "He's coming _back._"

The moon embodiment sniffled again, wiping her eyes.

"_You don't understand because you're lonely and have no one. If you ever get a lover, you'll understand._"

She then proceeded to burst into tears again.

_O/O/O/O_

Zyra stormed down the hallway, growling.

_*Lonely and have no one?! **Lonely and have no one?! I AM NOT LONELY!!**_**_*_**

"Oh, hello Zygarde."

Her head whipped around and she screamed.

"I AM NOT LONELY!!!"

Suicune was taken aback at first, but eventually the gears began to turn in his head.

He took on a calming tone; that of a parent consoling their child--or a therapist.

"We all say that at first, I'm afraid. But you'll learn to accept it, in time."

The doggish-looking 'mon tilted her head to the side, jaw falling open slightly.

"Eh...wha?"

Suicune stepped back into his room, then reappeared with a small business card.

He handed it to her.

"If you ever decide to join, we welcome you with open arms. And legs. And wings."

He then turned and sprinted away.

Zyra read the card.

"...The We're-All-Gonna-Die-Alone-And-We-Know-It Club...?"

_O/O/O/O_

Zyra stormed back and forth within a random cave, concocting a plan inside her noggin.

She proceeded to think out loud, like so:

"I need to prove that I'm not lonely. Because I'm not. Really. I mean honestly, why would I be? I don't need some stupid club. And I could certainly know what Lunala means!! And I could _certainly _find a mate!!"

She paused.

"...hmm...Yes, a mate. That's what I need. But who?"

She paced around in a circle, thinking hard.

Then, she stopped mid-stride, threw back her head, and laughed.

"What was I thinking? I know the _perfect _guy!! _We're_ _the same Pokémon and everything!!_"

She then turned and bounded out of the cave.

Greninja, who had been leaning against the wall and watching the entire time, gave a sigh and followed.

_O/O/O/O_

Squishy sat at a table, a human child across from him.

She was chatting eagerly, constantly reaching over to pet him as she talked.

Suprisingly, the Zygarde was _smiling._(He's in his 10% forme as well)

The girl stood, walking him into the living room, still giggling and chattering.

"--And--Oh, wait, sit here!! I wanna show you something!!"

The tiny blonde skipped to a bookshelf, reaching up and pulling out a leather-bound one.

She skipped over and flopped down next to him, opening it up.

"This has all kinds of Dragon Pokémon!! You're a dragon, right?"

He nodded in response.

She clapped her hands together.

"Great!! I knew it!!"

She began flipping through various pages, pointing at different Pokémon and chattering.

Squishy eventually stopped hearing her, merely staring at the child.

These were the oddly rare occasions where you would find him smiling and actually acting happy, as if he had a personality.

Sitting in a random house in Lumiose City, visiting a little girl, and doing nothing else.

He leaned forward and licked her cheek.

Suprised at first, she broke into a fit of laughter.

"Awww, you're affectionate today, Squishy!!"

He lay down next to her and closed his eyes.

_*I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't be with you, Bonnie.__*_

Unfortunately, someone knocked on the door.

Bonnie stood up.

"Clemont probably forgot his keys _again_." She moaned, rolling her eyes and skipping towards the door.

Upon opening it, she found Greninja and another 10% Zygarde standing there.

Zyra stared up at her whilst Greninja looked _down _at her, a familiar kindness in his eyes.

"Oh, hi Greninja!! Hi Zygarde #2!!"

Greninja patted her head whilst Zyra clambered around her and entered the house.

The impatient female strided over to him, an annoyed look on her face.

"Here _again?_"

He stood up, staring her in the face with a glare.

**_'Yes, I'm here again. Is that a problem_****_?'_**

She rolled her eyes.

"I don't see the point of _staying in the forest _of you keep coming back _here._"

It was his turn to roll his eyes.

**_'One, I only stayed because you needed protection. Second...'_**

His eyes darted over to Bonnie, who was distracted by Greninja.

**_'...Well, I'm sure she's safer, since I don't technically belong to her. Nobody has to hurt her.'_**

He pointed his nose in the air triumphantly, also changing his body stance to a dominant one. He then continued to glare.

**_'Are you just here to pester me? I was in the middle of something._****_'_**

"Yeah yeah, precious over there. Look, I need to talk to you, and it would be nice if--"

**_'If it's not an emergency, it can wait.' _**

He snapped, pushing past her and trotting to Bonnie.

"Squishy, for goodness sake, you can always come back--"

**_'I only come once a month.'_**

"Well can't you just--"

**_'No, I can't come back later._****_'_**

"Well then just--"

He nudged Bonnie outside, reducing himself to a core and climbing into her bag.

Bonnie squealed with joy, yelled a goodbye to Greninja and Zyra, and sprinted of towards town, chattering.

Zyra stamped the ground with her foot.

"Fine. I'll just get him later. Come on, Greninja."

Greninja sighed, closing the door and following her into the forest.

_O/O/O/O_

**2 Days Later**

Lunala shrieked and tackled Solgaleo, the lion hitting the ground.

Arceus glanced around at the returneés, a concerned look taking over his features.

"_Um...what...happened to you all??_"

All seven of them were a complete disaster, Mew being the only one who seemed to have any energy at all or eyes that weren't glazed over.

The cat-like Pokémon ripped off her dirty and torn uniform, taking in a deep breath.

"Ahhhh, home sweet not-my-actual-home!! Viva la Origin, baby!!"

She began randomly floating around the room, whilst literally everyone else returned their attention to the rest of the team members.

They seemed to be coming to, Xerneas staggering forward.

"_We got 2nd plaaaa..._" He trailed off, tripping and falling flat on his face.

Azelf, who began floating forward, pulled him up.

"Yeah, 2nd. Which is kinda a bummer, 'cause of the trip _we _had."

A murmur of agreement came from the others.

Except Mew, who randomly floated out of a window.

...Okay, she doesn't seem alright after all.

"I mean really," the BLUE BLOB continued, "If they're gonna make us travel to like 10 different cities for _bowling _then at _least--_"

Uxie cut her off by pressing a tentacle to her face.

"What Yellow said," Yveltal scolded, her accent thick as ever. "What happens on the tournament _stays _on the tournament."

A murmur of agreement flooded through the rest.

The other Legendaries glanced at each other briefly.

Zyra's attention was on Lunanla and Solgaleo, as the bat nuzzled the lion continuously.

_*I'm **going **__to understand. Soon.*_

Her eyes flicked over to an uninterested Squishy.

_*Soon. Hopefully...*_

**With me running this thing? HA.**

**Okay guys, important announcement: NEW POLL FOR THE STORY!!!**

**It's a vote on Lugia's proposal plan.**

**Now, for my fellow mobile users, you'll have to go on the internet site (just go on Google or whatever engine you use), go to the bottom of the screen, and click 'Desktop Mode'. It'll take you to the computer/laptop version of the site. Then, go to my profile and it'll be at the top of the screen!**

**For you lucky computer users: Same thing pretty much, you probably just won't have to change versions of the site.**

**For my app exclusive users: it's unacessible via the app, you _hav__e_ to use the site. Don't like it? Hey, I don't run the site.**

**Now, it's a _blind _poll, aka only _I _can see the results until voting is closed.**

**Voting closes August 24, alright? That seems reasonable.**

**WPFOTD: THERE'S A NEW LINOONE EVOLUTION IN SWORD AND SHEILD AND I _HATE _IT.**

**PKM Sun Progress: Finished Lana's trial, egg hatched (my new Eevee has been dubbed 'Hank'), approaching Battle Royal. Bandit the Alolan Rattata is now Bandit the Alolan Raticate.**

**Oh, and I have 4 Zygarde peices. Whoopdie doo.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	30. Genies & Dragons

**He****y****yo.**

**Ri2: 1) It is, isn't it?**

**2) You know what? Ironically I asked myself that very question as I wrote the chappie. I then proceeded to shrug and say, "Ah, whatever. We'll just wait and see..."**

**Should y'all be scared? Probably.**

**3) Could she? Maybe. Maybe she could. ;)**

**4) You have noooooo idea...**

**Firelord: 1) *Slides paper to you with a sigh* Sign here. I'd say "welcome", but you probably don't wanna be here right now.**

**2) PREACH IT.**

**3) PLEASE DO.**

**Serpent: I dunno how I feel about it either, but here we are. We'll just have to wait and see what happens, I guess. Thanks for voting!!**

**lukekriebs: *mutters* _That's exactly what I'm worried about..._**

**Let's do it.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

**Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, when Stupid turned into stone in the first movie Mewtwo would have _s__mashed _it.**

**_O/O/O/O_**

Celebi stretched out on Mew's couch, shoving ice cream in her mouth while Mew flipped through channels on her TV.

"Oh, here it is!"

She stopped on a channel where various Pokémon were trapped on an island whilst being put through various trials.

Celebi tilted her head, confused.

"Uh, Mews, why are you and Mewtwo runnin' this thing?"

"Huh? Oh, that's not me!! It's me from another universe!!"

The onion fairy stared at her.

"Huh?"

"Y'see, I hacked this TV to let me watch shows from other universes!! That mew is a dude, and so is the Mewtwo. That's kinda expected though."

Celebi stared at her.

She shoved another overflowing spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

After swallowing, she responded.

"I think I'm startin' ta understand why you and Victini made such a good couple."

Mew frowned, but before she could respond, a Shiny Gardevoir was smacked into the water and promptly attacked by a horde of Sharpedo.

"Dangit!! _She was my favorite character_!!"

_O/O/O/O_

Latias removed the binoculars from her eyes.

"I mean, I _guess _I could ship that..."

Beside her, Shaymin scoffed.

"If Mew was a _dude, _yeah. But she _isn't._"

Latias looked at him and raised a brow.

"You're just jealous, ain'tcha?"

"I am _not!_"

"You totally are."

Shaymin grumbled and adjusted the telescope, directing it to another room.

"Heh, Lunala and Solgaleo are cuddling. That's cute."

Latias squealed and shoved him out of the way, peering into the device herself.

"They're so _cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!_."

"Can't argue there. She must've really missed him while he was on the tournament, huh?"

"Yeah. I guess couples are like that."

The hedgehog stretched, laying down on the cloud.

A white light enveloped him, and when it went away, he was in his Sky Form.

"I see why you like these things, Lats. Really comfy."

"Told ya."

While still slightly weirded out by the dragon's antics, Shaymin had finally given up and gave in to her 'teachings'.

While not admitting it out loud, he was actually starting to enjoy shipping.

That scared him a bit.

They still held up their Friday Night Tradition**(TM)**\--hiding up on a cloud and stalking people. Perfectly normal. Especially when it's for fangirling purposes.

Latias was more than happy to have a companion, and, as she put it, an apprentice.

"You think Raikou and Mesprit are out tonight?" He asked, taking up use of the binoculars.

"Sadly, no. I heard Raikou and his brothers are doing something in Jhoto, and Mesprit took her sisters to your guy's Resort Area as a recovery from the bowling tournament."

"Darn," he muttered.

"I know, right? They are _such _OTP material!!"

"Speaking of that...if it's _"One True Pairing", _why do you have 17 of them?"

"That's just how it goes!! You'll learn eventually~"

She couldn't see the deer's eye-roll.

"If you say so."

He zoomed in on two nearby Abomasnow.

_*What are they--oh. **OH. **Wow, I don't need to see that.__*_

Turning away, he looked into another room.

"Dude, what is the _deal _with that guy?!"

"Hrm?" Latias turned around. "What guy?"

"Phione." He replied, pointing at a window.

The Hoenn Pokémon sat in front of a rolling camera, emotionlessly talking along with a really peppy K-Pop sounding song.

"Oh, it's for his Poké-tube channel. Don't worry about it."

"O-kaaaaaay..."

He glanced in the window again.

"But...really, what's his deal? I mean, aside from being driven mad like the rest of us. He acts like he has no soul."

Latias shifted.

"Don't worry about it. Phione is...Phione."

She looked around, pouting.

"Uuugh, wanna go somewhere else? We've already seen all we can around here."

He shrugged, and they pushed the cloud off in another direction.

_O/O/O/O_

They lazily floated about on the watch until Shaymin poked Latias.

"Hey, what are those three doing here?"

Latias peeked over to find Thunderus, Landorus, and Tornadus floating around like they owned the world.

"We're in Sinnoh," Shaymin continued. "Y'know, my home? I mean, not exactly _at _my home, but close enough. Either way, aren't they Hoenn--"

He abruptedly shut his mouth when Latias started growling.

"I **hate **those three," She snarled under her breath.

That took him by suprise.

_*I thought she loved everybody!! Or at least all Pokémon...*_

"Come on, I'm gonna give them a peice of my mind and make 'em go--"

However, before she could turn the cloud, Shaymin stopped her as a green strip appeared in the air, the Dragon Trio piling out of it.

Luckily, they were in the middle of Eterna Forest, no trainers present.

Palkia jumped off the pile and threw his hands in the air.

"WHY ARE WE STILL IN THIS STUPID FOREST?!?!"

Said forest shook slightly with his yell, but somehow not by much.

"I'm not sure," Giratina replied, rolling off of Dialga.

Dialga took a sharp inhale, sitting up.

"OKAY, okay," The water dragon inhaled in and out, pacing back and forth. "So, _recap: _we come in here to find some _stupid mansion _that Darkrai and Cresselia are _soooo_ afraid of, yet we _somehow _end up in random parts of this _stupid place _and can't get out!! And _now _our portal powers aren't working right _for some odd reason _and we've been wandering around here aimlessly for 2 hours!!! DID I MISS ANYTHING?!"

"We tried to fly and got mobbed by those crazy bugs," Giratina added.

Dialga made a noise.

Palkia shuddered.

"Ugh, _please _don't bring up that ramen-obsessed Bug Catcher."

"Well well well!! Look what we stumbled upon, boys!"

The dragons looked up to find the Genies descending upon them.

They shared a glance before Landorus continued.

"The _Almighty Dragons _of Sinnoh! Lost in the middle of nowhere!!"

The three laughed mockingly.

Latias lunged, but Shaymin put a hoof out and stopped her again.

"Watch. They can handle themselves."

The dragons gave each other looks before Giratina spoke up.

"I'm sorry, do we know you...?"

This caused the Genies to stop laughing.

Thunderus spluttered.

"_Excuse **me?**_"

"I said, "I'm sorry, do we know you?"."

The three jerks looked at each other, bewildered.

Palkia walked forward.

"Hang on, lemme try."

He inhaled.

"すみません、私たちはあなたを知っていますか？"

The floating brothers stared.

"Oh, good idea!!" Giratina piped up.

He tried as well.

"Lo siento, ¿te conocemos?"

When they still didn't reply, the two speaking dragons continued the onslaught of multillingualness.

"Mi dispiace, ti conosciamo?"

"Λυπάμαι, σε ξέρουμε;"

"Je suis désolé, on vous connait?"

"對不起，我們認識你嗎？"

''Извини, мы тебя знаем?"

"انا اسف هل نعرفك"

"אני מצטער, אנחנו מכירים אותך?"

"Je mi líto, že vás známe?"

"Undskyld, kender vi dig?"

"Es tut mir leid, kennen wir dich?"

"ENOUGH!!" Tornadus cried, gripping the sides of his head.

The dragons patiently waited for their awaited response.

Well, Palkia was less patient, tapping his foot; Dialga nudged him with a hoof.

"I would _assume _you would know us, us being the greatest Legendaries around," Landorus boasted.

"More like the most arrogant," Palkia muttered to Dialga.

Annoyed, he snorted his agreement.

"But, since you must not have been graced with our prescence yet, allow us to introduce ourselves."

They then began what seemed to be a rehearsed anime-opening style introduction; each struck poses as they spoke.

"Tornadus!!"

"Thunderus!!"

"Landorus!!"

"Three brothers of weather, Genies of great might--"

Landorus stopped when he realized the dragons weren't paying attention.

Giratina seemed to be wracking his brain about something, whereas Palkia was whispering to Dialga while giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Hey!!"

When they looked up, Dialga looked at Landorus' tail...and promptly covered his eyes.

The head genie's eyes narowed.

"What?"

Palkia busted out into full out laughter, throwing an arm around Giratina and whispering to him as well.

The devil's eyes widened, and he looked at the tails as well.

"They...I...you..._oh good grief, they actually **do...**_"

The horrified devil gagged slightly, turning away.

"Palkia, I can't _unsee _that!!"

Palkia began rolling around on the ground, howling.

"_What,_" Landorus snarled, shoving a finger in the water dragon's direction whilst glaring at Giratina, "Is that _idiot _laughing at us about?!"

Giratina narrowed his eyes.

"Number 1, don't call my brother an idiot."

He glanced away, face reddening.

"Number 2, are you sure you wanna know...?"

Up on the cloud, the two stalkers watched the scene with curiosity.

"What's he talkin' about?" Latias asked, turning her head to Shaymin.

The deer held up a hoof, pondering.

Giratina cleared his throat at the Genie's insistance.

"Alright, you...you asked for it..."

He groaned, facewinging as he continued.

"Do you know what a banana looks like?"

The weather 'mons each raised a brow in turn.

"Of _course,_" Landorus scoffed. "Who _doesn't?_"

Palkia's laughs reached a roar, the beast slamming his fist on the ground as he wheezed.

Giratina sighed, not showing his face.

"Do you...know what bananas can be...commonly associated with...?"

"Fruit, duh." Thunderus rolled his eyes.

"No...no, not..._food._"

"WELL SOME PEOPLE--"

Dialga shut his brother up by smacking him with his tail, still not looking up.

The gears in Shaymin's head began to turn, and his mind flashed back to the Abomasnow he had seen earlier that night.

_*Oh. My. Goodness.*_

A moment passed...

"OH ARCEUS _NO,_" Tornadus gagged, slamming his hands over his mouth.

His brothers gave him bewildered looks, so he whispered to them.

Dialga finally moved his hooves away, awaiting the expected response.

Thunderus screamed whereas Landorus' face scrunched up so badly it almost fell off.

"Exactly," Giratina continued, ashamed. "And, erm, my brother here has now planted the mental image that your tails, erm...look like those."

Another moment passed...

"YOU INGNORANT SICK _FREAK,_" Landorus snarled, face red as he threw his head back and slamming his hands over his eyes.

"I AM _NOT _THAT _REVOLTING!!_" Thunderus screeched, balling up his fists and throwing them down as he wailed.

"THAT STUPID THING JUST SCARRED ME FOR LIFE!!" Tornadus howled.

Latias looked to Shaymin, brows raised.

"I don't get it."

Her partner merely slammed his face into the cloud, wishing the void would just consume him already.

Eventually, Palkia finished his laughing fit, sitting up and grabbing his stomach.

"Oh, oh wow, my ribs hurt. Man, I hope I didn't burst my appendix again..."

He glanced at Giratina, who was still hiding his face.

"Hey, you look like dad when you do that."

Finally moving his wing, the devil tiredly gazed at him.

"Really? You guys say that, but..."

"No, dude, _seriously, _you really look like him sometimes. Dia, back me up--"

He turned his head around, seeking agreement; however, the aforementioned dragon was gone.

"...He wandered off again, didn't he...?"

Giratina sighed, brows furrowing.

"Looks like it. We better go find--"

"Excuse you!!"

Giratina felt his eye twitch as he turned around.

"Yes?"

The Genies each scoffed in turn, Landorus speaking up.

"First, you have the _gall _to not only know who we are, _then _not even _listen _to our introduction; _then, _you insult our _wonderful looks _for entertainment, and _now _you're just going to **_leave?!_**"

Giratina inhaled.

Sharply.

He turned back to his brother.

"Palks, go find Dialga. I'll handle this."

The water dragon nodded, flapping his wings and heading into the forest.

_*They're pickin' a fight they're **not **winning.*_ He snickered to himself.

Once he was positive his brother was out of earshot, Giratina slowly turned to the three.

His aura had darkened.

The Genies, however, still held their airs of arrogance.

"First off, I know who you are. Well, I figured it out, at least."

Thunderus scoffed once more.

"Well it's about--"

"**Shut up.**"

He complied at the demonic growl that was just uttered at him.

The dragon continued, pacing back and forth.

"You three are popular with the others, especially Mew."

They shared smirks.

"Justin Bibarel popular, not Harry Panpour popular."

Smirks were gone.

"Choice words, words that I either do not wish to repeat or were so bad that I hadn't even _heard _them before, were used in your descriptions."

He paused, looking up at them.

"I completely agree with every word."

Their jaws dropped.

"You ignorant--"

"**_I'M NOT FINISHED_**."

Silence.

"Yes, my brother can be..._innapropriate._ And, under normal circumstances, apolohies would have been issued..."

He resumed pacing.

"But considering that you showed up, trying to ruin our night further? Consider it punishment."

He flapped his wings.

"I'll consider us even, so don't--"

"Really?!"

His head snapped up.

"Excuse me?"

Landorus snarled.

"_We _were the problem?! _We _ruined _your _night?!"

This, my dearest readers, is how you piss off the equivalent of the devil.

Observe:

"You and your pathetic band of _freaks _have the _nerve _to show up in _our _prescence, and then _insult _us, and you claim _we _are the **_problem?!_**"

Suddenly, the entire world went silent.

An aura of dread consumed the clearing.

Shaymin nudged Latias.

"Let's go; you don't need to see this next part."

She frowned.

"But--"

"Latias, really. C'mon, how about we check out Kalos? Maybe Xerneas got through to Yveltal on that weird trip."

She sighed and nodded, turning the cloud and floating them away.

The Genies shared a look of fear.

"Well, we should be...heading..."

Their heads perked up at the sound of music.

It seemed to be a mix of bells and techno music.

**Boss music.**

_O/O/O/O_

Palkia flapped through the forest,searching for Dialga.

He eventually spotted the large blue beast in another clearing, head craned down, examining something.

Upon closer inspection, it was a Buneary, who seemed to be examining him right back.

The spacial being dropped to his feet, padding out to his brother.

Both Pokémon looked up at his arrival.

The Buneary hopped away.

Dialga frowned slightly.

"Interesting Buneary?" Palkia asked.

Dialga nodded, sitting.

Palkia flopped down next to him.

"Man, those guys were jerks, huh?"

Dialga nodded, unseeable lips pursing.

The water dragon tossed his arm around him.

"Hey, forget 'em. Just some wanna-be losers who have their heads so far up their own butts that they can't see straight."

The blue dragon snorted.

"And besides, we _are _the Almighty Dragon Trio!! After all--"

Music echoed. through the forest.

"...Is that Tina's Battle Theme?"

A nod from Dialga.

"Ah, thought so."

A few minutes passed, and eventually, Giratina descended upon the two.

"Hey bro!! Bugs stop swarmin' ya?"

"Yep!! We can fly off now!!" The devil declared triumphantly.

Dialga made a noise, pointing at Griatina's mouth.

"Huh?"

He licked his lip, the red substance dissapearing with his black tongue.

"Ooh, yummy."

"Hey, if that was Genie blood, do you get three wishes?"

"Maybe! Let's wait and see. For now, let's get outta here and look for the weird mandion another time. I better check on Cyrus; I left him in the Distortion Word."

_O/O/O/O_

"DEAR JOURNAL: I HATE THIS STUPID DIMENSION!!!"

Cyrus screamed into the void as he was sucked inside of a giant mound of yarn covered in honey.

**Well, who was happy to see the Genues again? _I sure wasn't!!_**

**Now, important: Guys, _don't forget to vote!!_ I have three votes on the poll so far and one of them is actually from me!! (Thank you to SerpentFeather and lukekriebs for voting)**

**WPFOTD: Dexio and a girl you meet in Sun and Moon are people from Pokemon X and Y and reference your character from those games.**

**Thank you again, Cryo ;)**

**Sun Progress: Grace the Eevee is now Grace the Espeon, Jewel the Alolan Meowth is now Jewel the Alolan Persian, finished Mallow's trial. Used Z-move for the first time.**

**See ya next Chappie!!**


	31. Mates, Part 1

**and the winner is...**

"M'kay, so you're proposin' to your girl. So, whatcha need me for?"

Celebi munched on a quesadilla as Lugia explained.

"Mostly to get her here, and make sure nobody interferes."

He mumbled under his breath.

"_Especially my kids._"

Celebi swallowed another bite.

"Eh, I mean, I can _try, _but I dunno if I can stop somethin' like if Palkia and Volcanion start wrestlin' and fall on me or somethin' dumb like that."

The large bird nodded.

"That's understandable; some things are out of our control. But could you at least keep watch and stop what you can??"

The onion fairy finished off her snack and shrugged.

"What'll I get fer my services??"

The bird snorted through his nostrils in fustration.

_*Accursed tiny Legendaries...*_

Placing a wing over his eyes, he began to think.

An idea popped into his head, and he dragged his appendage down.

"How about a blind date?"

The green fairy, who had pulled out a bag of chips, paused and looked at him curiously.

"I'll set it all up," he continued. "Heck, I'll even see if Mew's interested and you both can go. A double blind date, if you will."

Celebi, resuming her pause, stared up at the ceiling in thought.

Her mind flashed back to several ice-cream nights, which had been becoming more and more often as of late.

She bit her lower lip as she pondered.

"A'ight, fine."

* * *

Ho-oh flapped her wings, struggling to keep up with the aforementioned Accursed Tiny Legendary.

"Celebi!! _Slow down!!_"

"You speed up, lady!! Hubby's waitin' for ya!!"

Ho-oh audibly groaned, trying to figure out why she couldn't keep up with a tiny fairy of all things.

_*Must be the Shuckle Juice...really gotta lay off that stuff.*_

Granted, that wasn't the _only _reason; last night, she could have sworn she saw Raikou scaling the wall of the Hall of Origin, and then making a series of noises that summoned a hoard of Noctowl, which carried him away.

...Yeah, she needed to lay off the Shuckle Juice.

Celebi came to a stop, pointing down.

"Welp, did my part. Hubby's waitin' down there."

Panting, the Rainbow bird looked down to find they were above the Whirl Islands, a small clearing sitting there.

Squinting, she could barely make out a tiny-looking Lugia waving up at her.

She was about to wave back when she felt herself get shoved down.

That left a crater.

Welp.

Lugia helped her out, the dizzy female staggering slightly.

"I didn't think you would fall for me so easily," He teased.

Ho-oh groaned loudly.

"That was...oh, what's the word the boys use..._cringey._"

"Aww."

He nuzzled her, and she returned the gesture.

"Now," She began, pulling away, ind explaining why you sent an onion to come get me?"

"I HEARD THAT!!" Celebi's voice boomed from above.

He sighed.

"Well, dear, there's something I've been trying to ask you for some time now...and _every single time _I've gotten interrupted."

He leaned his head onto hers.

"Dear, how long have we known each other?"

She blinked.

"Well, creation, I'd say..."

"Right. And how long have we been dating?"

Another blink.

"Well, since the last time you were awakened, and I'd say...10 years at best?"

"Right. Well, those were the best 10 years of my life. The only reason my life has been remotely good were you and my kids. But mostly you."

He inhaled.

"Ho-oh--"

Suddenly, the aforementioned onion dived down, forcing herself between their faces.

"M'kay, so ya know how we agreed there was some things I ain't able to control?"

"Celebi--"

She pointed up.

"I ain't gonna be able ta control _that!!_"

Both birds looked up.

"Control _what?!_"

"Just come look!!"

The two beat their wings and flew up, looking towards Kanto.

Their eyes simultaneously widened.

* * *

"WHY?!"

Articuno shot a glare at her sister.

"Molty, wanna tell Uncle _why?_"

The firey bird shifted, not meeting either of their gazes.

"Erm, well, not re--"

"**_MOLTRÉS._**"

She guiltily looked into Lugia's rage-filled eyes.

"**_Tell me right now,_**" He snapped.

She gulped, then began.

"Well, er, you see...Zapdos and Mewtwo were playing some kind of dare game with Latios, and...well..."

She gulped.

"Mewtwo dared Zapdos to impersonate me, and he...er...well, was very rude when he did so."

Lugia's eye twitched.

"And _you,_" He growled, "thought that it was appropriate to **_burn down all of CELADON CITY?!?!_**."

Indeed, they were standing in the charred remains of said city, the only places still standing a small café, the mall, and the Game Corner.

They shook with the massive bird's yell, but somehow held firm.

"Well, er...they also...eh..."

Her mind went blank for any other reason as to why destroying the place made any sense whatsoever.

"_MOLTRÉS,_ THIS TOWN HAS A GRASS TYPE GYM. YOU HAVE _FIRE _THAT CAN GET SO HOT YOU COULD _KILL _A GRASS TYPE!! DID YOU EVEN **_CONSIDER THAT?!?!_**."

"Um...w-well--"

"AND FURTHERMORE," He continued, "I DON'T KNOW _HOW_, BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO REBUILD THIS ENTIRE PLACE IN THE NEXT THREE DAYS, _AT MOST. _DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT **COSTS?!**"

"I--"

"AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, YOU DESTROYED THE ONLY PLACE EVEN ROMETELY RELATED TO A HOSPITAL!!!"

He shoved his wing in the direction of the charred remains of the Pokémon Center.

The flaming female cowered.

"Uncle, I--"

"ALL OF THIS OVER YOUR BROTHER BEING A MORON WITH HIS FRIENDS!! LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THAT IT UPSET YOU, AND THAT'S NOT OKAY, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST _TRIED _TO TALK IT OUT INSTEAD OF **_CAUSING MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION!!!_**."

He threw his head back and squaled angrily.

"I WILL _NEVER _GET TO ASK HER NOW!! NOT WITH THE FOUR OF YOU CONSTANTLY BEING A BUNCH OF--"

He snapped his beak shut, eyes snappind open at what he was saying and about to say.

He found his two daughters staring at him, eyes wide.

They turned to each other.

"Girls--"

"Articuno," Moltrès began, "Where did the boys go?"

"I think they yelled something about hiding from you in the Safari Zone," The ice burd replied.

"Alright. Shall we?"

"We shall."

They beat their wings and flew off.

Lugia called to them, his heart beating overly fast, but they were out of sight before he could get the first word out.

* * *

Beneath the Secret House in the Safari Zone, Zapdos and Mewtwo were huddled together under a blanket.

"Ey Two?"

"_Yes?_"

"I think we're too close tagether."

"_What?_"

"Shouldn't we, I dunno, be 5 feet apart or somethin'?"

"_...What?_"

Suddenly, the ground above them began to shake.

Both's eyes widened, and they straight up hugged each other.

"OKAY FERGET 5 FEET APART WE'RE GONNA DIE ANYWAYS!!!"

"_I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND--_"

"Wow Mewtwo, you're like a grandma or something."

Both heads snapped to the side to find Articuno had entered, flanked by Moltrés.

Both males promptly screamed again, hiding under the blanket.

It was yanked off of them by a cold claw.

"Chill out, she's not gonna murder you guys."

She shot a look at the flaming bird.

"Right?"

A nod.

"_...Did you just make a pun?_"

"Whatcha mean?"

Mewtwo's tail flicked.

"_"Chill out''. You're an ice type, so..._"

The gears turned in her head, and she busted out laughing.

Once done, she snickered again.

"I'm hilarious."

She glanced around.

"Huh. Nice bunker, bro."

"Oh, ah, thanks."

Indeed, the bunker was extremely cozy, complete with some old tattered furniture, a few cots, and an overly large amount of canned corn, beans, and...

"What's with all the twinkies? Those things are disgusting."

Zapdos stood up, shaking himself off.

"Yeah, but they don't go bad, right?"

"...Not really, no. If the apocalypse happens they probably won't even get hit by radioactive energy."

"Exac'ly!!"

While the siblings talked about Zapdos's choice in bunker food, Mewtwo made his way over to a downtrodden Moltrés.

"_Are you alright??_"

She looked up at him.

"What??"

"_I asked if you were alright._"

"Oh."

She sighed.

"Not really, no."

If he could frown, he would; that wasn't happening anytime soon, so he deigned to show sympathy in his eyes.

"_Was it Lugia??_"

She blew some smoke out of her nose.

Zapdos and Articuno came over, the girls explaining what had happened to the boys.

"Oh boy..."

The two nodded.

"Can you rebuild Celadon real quick, Mewtwo?"

The clone snapped his fingers, and the place suddebly went back to normal, leaving many civilians memory wiped and confused.

"_Wait,_" Mewtwo began, "_Why did he say "Now I'll never get to ask her"...?_"

Moltrés flapped her wings, shaking some dust from her feathers.

"We were trying to figure that out on our way here."

They each began shooting ideas; well, all except Zapdos, whose eyes crossed with how intense he was thinking.

They uncrossed suddenly and he squacked, wings flaring out.

"AUNT HO-OH!!"

The other three paused and looked at him.

He flapped his wings quickly, talking fast.

""Her" clearly ain't onna us, right? Er, onna you twos, I mean. An' he always talks about "her", but we norm'lly jus' pass it off as Aunt Ho-oh, right?"

Nods from his sisters.

"But what would he be _asking _her?" Articuno wondered.

Zapdos inhaled.

"What are Zekrom an' Reshiram to each other?"

Moltrés rolled her eyes.

"They're Mates for Life, of cou--"

She abruptedly stopped, mouth agape.

Articuno slowly realized what her older siblings already had.

"...Whoah."

Mewtwo tilted his head to the side.

"_I thought they were already Mates._"

The three birds shook their heads.

"Nah, Two. They been together, but ain't never, uh, "tied the knot", like Moltrés says."

"..._Huh._"

A tense air hung around them.

"...Do you guys...think he may have tried already?"

They looked at Articuno, who was thinking as she spoke.

"It sounded like...he had asked--or, _tried _to, at least. Maybe we..._interrupted?_"

All eyes went wide.

"...Crud."

"_Oops._"

"Well, that would certainly explain it..."

"Shoot..."

She rubbed the bottom of her beak with a wing.

"So, when he went off on Moltrés..."

"He was letting out all of his _other _rage from the other times." Her sister finished.

"Exactly."

Mewtwo flicked his tail.

"_So what should we do? Apologize?_"

"No." Moltrés replied. "At least, not by a usual verbal way. Besides, would it _really _be genuine? After all, he didn't tell us he was going to do this in the first place, never explained in other times (whenever they were), and, for all he preaches to us--especially Articuno--about anger, he still held all his in until it boiled over."

"Sis has a point." Zapdos agreed, shrugging.

"Oh, and he almost killed Mewtwo that one time."

Mewtwo shuddered, still glad he didn't wake up in a grave.

Then, Articuno had a grin spread across her face.

"You know...we could always..._give him a push in the right direction, _if you know what I mean."

The other birds looked at her before gaining a grin themselves.

Mewtwo felt pensive for a moment...

Then shrugged.

"_Well, __Why not?_"

* * *

**Y'all didn't think I was gonna give it to ya _that _easily, didja?**


	32. Mates, Part 2

**Previously on _Council of the Annoyed..._**

_"Now," She began, pulling away, "mind explaining why you sent an onion to come get me?"_

_"I HEARD THAT!!" Celebi's voice boomed from above._

_He sighed.__"Well, dear, there's something I've been trying to ask you for some time now...and every single time I've gotten interrupted__..__."_

-

_"...Right. Well, those were the best 10 years of my life. The only reason my life has been remotely good were you and my kids. But mostly you."_

_He inhaled._

_"Ho-oh--"_

-

_"Uncle, I--"_

_"ALL OF THIS OVER YOUR BROTHER BEING A MORON WITH HIS FRIENDS!! LOOK, I UNDERSTAND THAT IT UPSET YOU, AND THAT'S NOT OKAY, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED TO TALK IT OUT INSTEAD OF CAUSING MAYHEM AND DESTRUCTION!!!."_

_He threw his head back and squaled angrily._

_"I WILL NEVER GET TO ASK HER NOW!! NOT WITH THE FOUR OF YOU CONSTANTLY BEING A BUNCH OF--"_

_He snapped his beak shut, eyes snapping open at what he was saying and about to say._

_He found his two daughters staring at him, eyes wide._

_They turned to each other._

_"Girls--"_

_"Articuno," Moltrès began, "Where did the boys go?"_

_"I think they yelled something about hiding from you in the Safari Zone," The ice bird replied._

_"Alright. Shall we?"_

_"We shall."_

_They beat their wings and flew off._

_Lugia called to them, his heart beating overly fast, but they were out of sight before he could get the first word out._

-

_Zapdos inhaled._

_"What are Zekrom an' Reshiram to each other?"_

_Moltrés rolled her eyes._

_"They're Mates for Life, of cou--"_

_She abruptedly stopped, mouth agape._

_Articuno slowly realized what her older siblings already had._

_"...Whoah."_

-

_"So what should we do? Apologize?"_

_"No." Moltrés replied. "At least, not by a usual verbal way. Besides, would it really be genuine? After all, he didn't tell us he was going to do this in the first place, never explained in other times (whenever they were), and, for all he preaches to us--especially Articuno--about anger, he still held all his in until it boiled over."_

_"Sis has a point." Zapdos agreed, shrugging._

_"Oh, and he almost killed Mewtwo that one time."_

_Mewtwo shuddered, still glad he didn't wake up in a grave._

_Then, Articuno had a devious grin spread across her face._

_"You know...we could always...give him a push in the right direction, if you know what I mean."_

_The other birds looked at her before gaining a grin themselves._

_Mewtwo felt pensive for a moment..._

_Then shrugged._

_"Well, why not?"_

* * *

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, several evolutions either wouldn't exist or would be fixed._**

* * *

The three Jhoto dogs sat across the table, listening intently as Moltrés and Articuno made their appeal.

"--And, since she's your mother, you three technically have an obligation to know, at the very least. So, if you help us, you're technically sealing her happiness." Moltrés finished up.

"So, how about about it?" Articuno asked sweetly, tilting her head to the side.

The dogs looked at each other.

"Well, we're definitely going to help," Suicune spoke up, "but..."

"Lugia didn't tell you guys he was gonna do it??" Entei finished, perplexed.

The birds slowly shook their heads, eyes narrowing at the implications of that statement.

"Well, he told _us_," Raikou quipped, fidgeting in the chair that was too small for him.

When the bird's eyes snapped wide open, Suicune hurriedly explained.

"We found out by accident, really; we were just hanging around in the Dining Hall one day and he dragged himself in incredibly depressed because he tried to ask and it went wrong because, well, he got interrupted."

"He never brought it up again, so we figured he either dropped it entirely or just went back to the planning stages or something." Raikou threw in.

"We thought you guys knew already, that's why we never brought it up..." Entei added.

The sisters looked at each other, the anger that had been starting to form at the brothers dissipating.

"It's alright," Articuno sighed. "But now I'm madder at Uncle than I already was."

"We can deal with that later, dear." Moltrés stated, stretching. "Right now, our allies here need to be filled in on our little plan."

"Yeah, speaking of that, what're we doing?" Raikou asked. "You kept mentioning it but never explained."

The sisters grinned mischeviously at each other.

"How good are you boys at baking?"

* * *

"This is gonna be the most glorius thing Ah've ever seen, ain't it?"

"_Yes. Yes it will be._"

Mewtwo and Zapdos stood before an enormous amount of baking supplies.

When I say enormous, I mean _enormous._

Like, 4,000 pounds of flour enormous. That's just one example.

Zapdos reached for one of the many vats of squirt frosting, but was held back via Mewtwo's telekinesis.

"_Remember what your sister said she'd do if we ate any of this prematurely._"

Zapdos shuddered, _really _hoping that his body was flexible enough to survive all that twisting. That diagram was terrifying.

They were just glad that they had found a kitchen big enough to hold it all.

...And enough stores to buy what they needed.

The door opened up, Articuno and Moltrés being flanked by the dogs.

"Uh...isn't this..._his _house?" Raikou fearfully asked, pensive to speak its name.

"Yeah, but he _definitely _isn't here." Articuno replied, plucking off a stray feather. "We made sure. And took extra..._measures._"

* * *

**Somewhere in Kalos...**

"NOT AGAIN!!!" Stupid screamed as he found himself tied to a chair once more with an angry hoard of nutcase fangirls grabbing at him.

"HEY!! YOU CAN TAKE MY SHIRT, _BUT DON'T TOUCH MY HAAAAAAAAAAT!!!_"

* * *

"Anyways, before you ask, we _do _have permission to be here." Moltrés spoke up, digging around the cabinets for a specific pan they were missing.

"Yeah," Zapdos continued for her. "The kid sucks, but 'is momma's pretty nice. She gladly let us in 'ere in exhange for me givin' 'er some extra rain every now and again for that garden outside."

He gestured towards the window, where Mr. Mime seemed a little too eager every time Delia bent over to water the flowers.

"Wait, you can make rain?" Entei asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Storms, yeah. So thunder an' stuff comes with."

"Oh, okay."

Moltrés emerged, having found the pan.

A thought crossed Suicune's mind.

"Wait, why can't we just use the kitchen at the Hall of Origin? Don't get me wrong, it was nice of Mrs. Ketchum, but it's still about three times this size."

After the dog asked this question, the female birds shot glares at Metwo and Zapdos.

"Wanna explain, boys?"

Both found things _other _than their companions eyes to put their interest in.

"So, eh, y'all heard 'bout that time where we an' Latios...er...got hammered and tried to get...uh...Elemental Plates?"

Silence reigned...

Before the three reincarnations busted out laughing, escalating to the point of them rolling around on the empty spots on the floor.

"That was the _dumbest _thing I've ever heard you guys do!!" Suicune guffawed. "And we watched the Internet Challenge videos!!"

"I can't believe you drew a rune _on the ceiling!!!_ _THE CEILING!!_" Entei howled.

"The fact that you guys _actually _did it in the first place kills me!!" Raikou said, clutching his gut.

Mewtwo stared at Raikou, a hangover-repressed memory starting to break through.

"_Wait a minute...didn't we run into you in the hallway?_"

The yellow dog's laughing abruptedly stopped.

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Two?" Zapdos inquired, tilting his head to the side.

"_I don't really remember entirely...but I feel like we saw Raikou in the hallway at some point._"

He turned to the yellow bird.

"_You don't remember? I'm having trouble._"

"Eh...I mostly 'member the ritual, an' that's pretty fuzzy in itself."

Mewtwo shrugged.

He turned back to Raikou.

"_I think you ran into a bathroom after...you were probably just heading there, weren't you?_"

"Uh...probably." Raikou rubbed the back of his head, relieved he found an out.

Mewtwo shrugged again, dropping it.

"Anyhow," Zapdos continued, face turning red, "Paps banned us from usin' the kitchen fer a few months."

A resounding "Ooooh" from the dogs was their final answer.

"So, we're making a giant cake?" Suicune asked, rising and walking around all the supplies.

"Not just _any _giant cake," Moltrés boasted, "The most magnificent giant cake anybody in Kanto or Jhoto has ever seen!!"

"What about the other regions?'' Entei piped up.

"Have you _been _to Kalos? I don't think we can impress the bakers there anytime soon."

"Fair point."

"Now, we're gonna split up into teams." Articuno continued, waving her wing to show she was addressing everyone. "Zapdos, Raikou, and Mewtwo are Team 1, Entei and Moltrés are Team 2, and then Suicune and I are Team 3. We're each gonna do a different part of the cake and then mash it all together in the end."

She cleared off a table and spread out a claw-drawn picture of an enormous cake, littered with frosting, candies, fruits, chocolates, various Pokemon treats (such as beans and puffs) and even cupcakes.

Several layers made up the monstrous delicacy, each getting progressively smaller as you looked to the top.

The dog's jaws dropped as the stared, mouths watering.

"..._Dude,_" Raikou began, "Do we _have _to waste all this on your Uncle/our soon-to-be dad, or..."

"Depends," Moltrés replied. "If the plan goes our way, there will be plenty of leftovers; if it doesn't, as it probably won't (as much as I hate to say it), well...you never know."

All the Pokémon stared at the picture one more time, sighing as they did so.

"Well," Suicune stated, turning his head away. "We better get started, huh??"

* * *

Delia Ketchum bent down to examine a small patch of damaged daisies.

"Oh dear, Mimey...if only those Rattata would stop coming in here and attracting those angry Spearow..."

"Mi-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime~" Mr. Mime replied, not paying attention to a word the woman said. His attention was focused..._elsewhere_.

"Hm...maybe if that Zapdos brings in enough thunderstorms, they'll stop hiding here...oh, but then they might end up with damaged homes..."

Mr. Mime lifted a finger, snickering to himself as he leaned for a poke.

However, a massive thunderbolt proceeded to shatter the window, hitting both the creeper Pokémon and the single mother.

They both shrieked, Mr. Mime fainting upon impact.

Once the electric blast stopped, several angry Pokémon cries could be heard from inside.

Delia turned and stared at the house for a moment.

"...You know, I think I had some shopping to do. Far, _far _away from my house full of crazy Pokémon..."

* * *

In the span of an hour, the seven Pokémon had not only managed to destroy a majority of the house, break pretty much every utencil the Ketchums owned, and blow up the oven 13 times, but _also_ managed to somehow repeatedly unintentionally knock each other out with type-advantaged moves.

Oh, and then Raikou started a frosting war.

Bruh.

Wiping the frosting from his eyes, Suicune looked around, eyeing the various half-layers of cake littered about.

"So...what next? Seal them together?"

"Not just yet," Articuno replied. "We still have to make the container for Uncle to be in."

"_I started it already,_" Mewtwo stated, levitating a cake-shaped container over. It appeared to be made out of some sort of reinforced steel.

"Oh, good!! Then Suicune and I can put the water in and _then _we'll seal the cake." Articuno replied, clapping her wings.

Suicune tilted his head.

"Come again?"

Articuno turned to him.

"Okay, so you're gonna fill this container here with water, which I'm gonna freeze, and then we'll seal it shut and put the cake around it."

Entei stared at it, confused.

"...Why, though?"

Zapdos then launched into an explanation.

"M'kay, so Uncle can breathe underwata, right? Well, if the 'tainer's shut, 'e won't be able ta breathe. _So, _we're gonna put water in there so that 'e can."

A series of understanding "Ooh"s came from the dogs.

"...Why ice, though? Won't he freeze?"

"One, because we can, and two, we don't give a--"

A cabinet then proceeded to break off and fall, smacking Articuno across the beak and cutting her off.

As she rubbed it, Raikou spoke up.

"Petty. I like it."

* * *

**Petty, petty indeed XD**


	33. Mates, Part 3

**Previously on _Council of the Annoyed..._**

_"--And, since she's your mother, you three technically have an obligation to know, at the very least. So, if you help us, you're technically sealing her happiness." Moltrés finished up._

_"So, how about about it?" Articuno asked sweetly, tilting her head to the side._

_The dogs looked at each other._

_"Well, we're definitely going to help," Suicune spoke up, "but..."_

_"Lugia didn't tell you guys he was gonna do it??" Entei finished, perplexed._

_The birds slowly shook their heads, eyes narrowing at the implications of that statement._

_"Well, he told us," Raikou quipped, fidgeting in the chair that was too small for him._

_When the bird's eyes snapped wide open, Suicune hurriedly explained._

-

_"It's alright," Articuno sighed. "But now I'm madder at Uncle than I already was."_

_"We can deal with that later, dear." Moltrés stated, stretching. "Right now, our allies here need to be filled in on our little plan."_

_"Yeah, speaking of that, what're we doing?" Raikou asked. "You kept mentioning it but never explained."_

_The sisters grinned mischeviously at each other._

_"How good are you boys at baking?"_

-

_"So, we're making a giant cake?" Suicune asked, rising and walking around all the supplies._

_"Not just any giant cake," Moltrés boasted, "The most magnificent giant cake anybody in Kanto or Jhoto has ever seen!!"_

_"What about the other regions?'' Entei piped up.__"Have you been to Kalos? I don't think we can impress the bakers there anytime soon."_

_"Fair point.__"_

_"__Now, we're gonna split up into teams." Articuno continued, waving her wing to show she was addressing everyone. "Zapdos, Raikou, and Mewtwo are Team 1, Entei and Moltrés are Team 2, and then Suicune and I are Team 3. We're each gonna do a different part of the cake and then mash it all together in the end."_

-

_"So...what next? Seal them together?"_

_"Not just yet," Articuno replied. "We still have to make the container for Uncle to be in."_

_"I started it already," Mewtwo stated, levitating a cake-shaped container over. It appeared to be made out of some sort of reinforced steel._

_"Oh, good!! Then Suicune and I can put the water in and then we'll seal the cake." Articuno replied, clapping her wings._

_Suicune tilted his head._

_"Come again?"_

_Articuno turned to him.__"Okay, so you're gonna fill this container here with water, which I'm gonna freeze, and then we'll seal it shut and put the cake around it."_

_Entei stared at it, confused._

_"...Why, though?"_

_Zapdos then launched into an explanation._

_"M'kay, so Uncle can breathe underwata, right? Well, if the 'tainer's shut, 'e won't be able ta breathe. So, we're gonna put water in there so that 'e can."_

_A series of understanding "Ooh"s came from the dogs._

_"...Why ice, though? Won't he freeze?"_

_"__One, because we can, and two, we don't give a--"_

_A cabinet then proceeded to break off and fall, smacking Articuno across the beak and cutting her off._

_As she rubbed it, Raikou spoke up._

_"Petty. I like it."_

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_****_If I owned Pokémon, FARFETCH'D WOULD HAVE EVOLVED INTO SOMETHING, LIKE, NOT THAT WEIRD "SIRFETCH'D" THING. I MEAN SERIOUSLY IT'S LITERALLY JUST A WHITE FARFETCH'D THAT'S 2 FEET TALLER WITH A LANCE. SERIOUSLY, IF THEY HAD REVEALED DELIBIRD TO BE FARFETCH'D'S REAL EVOLUTION THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS!! I MEAN COME ON EVEN A MUSTACHE--_**

* * *

Lugia sighed, reclining.

Rubbing the side of his head with a wing, he used telekinesis to float his cup of tea over and have a sip.

He then examined the liquid, the greenish colour that was starting to form the cooler it got a bit unsettling.

_*This brew Arceus gave me...I don't know, something is just...**off **about it.*_

He blinked, mulling something over.

_*Hm...actually, yesterday was the first time I'd seen Arceus in a while. I wonder what--*_

"Oh Uncle LUGIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~"

The bird screeched and fell out of his recliner at the sound of Moltrés' voice booming from the heavens.

Pushing himself up, the bird used his telekinesis to pull the waters above his living room apart, allowing the fire bird to descend.

Once she landed, he re-sealed it, looking at her.

She looked overly happy, considering the two's last encounter.

He inhaled.

"Moltrés, I--"

"Oh, Uncle, it's the oddest thing!!" She cut him off, whipping around and flying gracefully about his living room.

"I--er, what now??"

"It seems _somebody--_" She paused to admire her reflection in a nearby mirror, "Decided to make a _massive _cake, drag it to the nearby beach, and leave it there!!"

Once done gazing at her (self-dubbed) beautiful face, she glided over to a nearby flower pot, examining it.

"Oh, are these new? How I do love petunias. Anyways, as I was saying, There's currently a giant cake on the beach, and I do believe it's for you. Perhaps an apology gift of some sort; have you angered anyone recently, Uncle?"

Lugia gaped at her, the female's back to him.

His expression softened.

_*That explains why she seems so...childish, I suppose? She only acts this way when she's feeling...guilty...*_

"Moltrés, you didn't have to..."

"Nonsense, Uncle." She turned, looking up at the suspened water that served as a ceiling.

"Oh, look, a Milotic. Those are so very pretty."

She craned her head around, glancing at him.

"My, Uncle, you look so disheveled!"

The elder looked at himself, noting that his feathers did, indeed, look quite a bit frazzled.

"No matter, it shall either be rectified or not matter."

She beat her wings, suspending herself just below the water roof.

She looked down towards Lugia, clearing her throat.

He snappef out of his thoughts.

"Oh! Er, coming, I suppose..."

He split the waters apart, and the two ascended.

* * *

A little ways away, on the beach, in the surrounding forest, Articuno and the dogs waited for the two's arrival.

Suicune paced back and forth, Raikou watched some nearby Rattata brawl, Entei was asleep, and Articuno dilligently watched over the ocean.

"Hey guys," Raikou piped up, "if Moltrés uncle marries our mom, does that make us cousins or siblings?"

Articuno craned her head around, and Suicune paused his pacing.

"Well, we would be in-laws, at the very least. I'm not entirely sure if we'd be siblings or not."

He looked to Articuno.

"What do you think?"

The bird shrugged.

"I mean, like you said, it probably doesn't matter too much, considering that we'll be _in-laws, _but...yeah, I'm not sure."

She raised a brow.

"Why _Moltrés, _specifically?"

The two conscious dogs looked at each other, then at the sleeping Entei.

"...Oh, no reason."

The bird's jaw dropped, but when she was about to speak, wheezing caught her attention.

(No, not the Pokémon, the breathing movement)

The three looked at the beach, finding Zapdos and Mewtwo, sweating like crazy and breathing so hard you would think they were trying to inhale all the Earth's atmosphere, arriving with the cake.

Said cake was on a cart, harnesses on the front, waiting for the 6 Pokemon who would pull it.

Articuno grimaced.

"I am _not _looking forward to pulling that thing."

"Me neither," Suicune mused.

Raikou gave no response, staring at the harnesses, face taking on a reddish tint.

Zapdos proceeded to collapse face-down on the sand, Mewto throwing his hands on his knees and panting.

Suicune leaped over the bushes and trotted to them.

"What happened to you two?"

Mewtwo raised his head, eyes wide and pupils dilated.

Zapdos' head shot up and he screeched.

"WHY THE HECKIN' HECKLES ARE DITTOS SO DANG _WEIRD?!_"

"_And **why** do apricorns attract massive flocks of Pokémon?! And **whose idea was it to use them on this stupid cake?!**_"

The blue dog took a step back, shooting a glance at the approaching Articuno and Raikou.

"I think it Moltrés' idea." Articuno replied, examining the cake.

Raikou tilted his head.

"Seriously, what's up with you guys?"

The two glared at him.

"**_We,_**" Mewtwo began with what sounded like a snarl in his voice, "_Were chased by seemingly every Pokémon in Jhoto, got cornered by a whorde of accult Dittos, and **almost got caught by some idiot punk trainers.**_"

"Oh man, that sucks."

He growled in Articuno's direction.

"_If I wasn't so tired, I'd kill all of you for making us bring this thing by ourselves._"

Suicune then spoke up.

"Kill us later Mewtwo, they're coming!!"

The five dived back into the bushes, peeking back over to watch the approaching birds.

Raikou woke Entei in the process.

Once the six were all ready, they continued, waiting for Moltrés' signal.

The duo landed, Lugia padding over to the giant cake.

He gazed at it, mouth watering.

"Moltrés..."

He then took notice of the harnesses.

"...Moltrés...?"

Suddenly, a certain feminine voice came from behind him.

"Alright, Uncle, I give you two choices."

At her cold tone, Lugia shivered.

He tried to turn around, but he felt her talons dig into the sensitive area of his lower back, causing his legs to lock up.

"M-Moltrés--"

"Now, we could do this willingly, and you won't take as many hits to the head; _or, _we can do this..."

She shot a flamethrower into the air.

"...The _hard _way."

Lugia saw Suicune, Entei, Raikou, Articuno, Mewtwo, and Zapdos enter the scene, grinning.

Fear began to consume the older bird.

"What...what are you all..."

"Well? What's your answer, _Uncle?_"

Spite laced the last word.

Yikes.

"I...don't know _what _you all are doing," he hissed, "but it needs...to stop...now!"

"THAT MEANS THE HARD WAY!!" Articuno yelled, taking to the air.

Zapdos joined her, the two charging up beams.

The dogs did so as well, and he could feel Moltrés starting to heat up.

"CHILDREN--"

**Ka-_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!_**

* * *

**(Welp, there went Lugia XD)**

* * *

The smoking crater that was left in the wake up the combined moves now contained a charred--and unconscious--Lugia.

Suicune and Entei peered down over the hole, seing if he was alive.

"He's alive," Suicune confirmed.

"Then let's get him in the cake!" Articuno grinned.

* * *

After a long process of dragging the bird out, having Mewtwo levitate him in the air, and flinging him carelessly into the ice water, the birds and dogs began strapping themselves into the harnesses.

Mewtwo sat on the cart, in front of the cake.

He didn't realize, but as his mind drifted high above the clouds, his legs began to swing like a little kid's would.

"--and _dang, _these lil' bells are--Two, are you listenin'?!"

The clone jumped slightly, looking at Zapdos.

"_Sorry, were you talking to me?_"

"Yeah, kinda. Rantin's more like it."

Mewtwo noted that the harness seemed overly tight on Zapdos' smaller torso.

The bird puffed out his chest.

"Whatcha lookin' fer? Wanna see if me an' Articuno got the same chest?"

Mewtwo's face exploded in red.

"_WHAT?!_ _NO!!_"

"Are you suuuuuuuure, Mewtwo?" Moltrés' voice came from the side, almost purring.

The fire bird's harness seemed tight on her as well outlining certain...features.

"If so, you ought to look at me instead; I _am _female, after all..."

She glanced at Zapdos.

"Then again, if being female is the issue, Zapdos shouldn't have a problem in that regard."

"What's that s'posed to mean?!"

Mewtwo was unconcerned by the bickering for once, choosing instead to yank Zapdos up to his face via psychic energy.

"_Did you **tell **her?!_"

The bird shrugged.

"Actu'lly, she walked in on me writin' up mah '311 Ways ta Kill Mewtwo if He Hurts Articuno' list, and she helped me out when I explained."

He grinned.

"We got 420 reasons now."

Mewtwo facepalmed, dropping the bird.

"Moltres?! Why are these things so dang tight?!"

Mewtwo knew he probably shouldn't look.

He did anyway.

Articuno pecked at the harness, her small torso being outlined by it.

Mewtwo slammed his face into his hands, wishing he had died in that stupid laboratory.

Suicune managed to get his on, his slender frame also outlined; the pink was, admitedly, a nice accent on his blue fur.

Entei's could barely be seen, sinking deep into his brown mass of a coat.

"Are we ready?" The blue dog asked.

The others nodded.

"Alright, I guess we'll get in forma--wait, Raikou."

He turned around.

"Raikou, are you rea..."

The yellow beast sat on his haunches, harness around him, entire body redder than a Daruma.

"...Are you _alright?_"

The yellow beast rose, walking to the carriage, and sitting in his decided spot.

"...Alright then...?"

The others got into their positions: Suicune and Entei in the front, Raikou and Zapdos in the middle, and Articuno and Moltrés in the back.

Mewtwo attatched the 'reigns' to each of them, then climbed up onto the cart again.

"_Ready?_"

A chorus of "Yeah"s and "Yes"s and a "Somebody kill me" came from the six.

"_Alright..._"

He smacked the reigns up and down.

"_Away!!_"

And with that, the dogs curled their legs under themselves, leaping; the birds took flight.

The carriage sailed into the air.

* * *

**I was originally gonna put a Christmas Joke in that last part, but I couldn't figure the rhyme out XD y'all just gotta wait 3 more months until the special, I guess.**


	34. Mates, Part 4

**And now**...

Ho-oh's eyes fluttered open, the massive bird rising and stretching.

She moaned slightly, having to crack her back; she'd fallen asleep on Reshiram's couch, it seemed.

She blinked.

_*Why am I...*_

"Have a nice night, dearie?"

Ho-oh craned her head around to find the aforementioned dragon entering the room.

Ho-oh blinked again.

"Night...?"

"You crashed here after you asked for Reshy's advice," Zekrom added, following in behind Reshiram.

The Rainbow Bird rubbed the side of her head.

"Why don't I remember...?"

The two dragons shared a glance.

_Ho-oh continued to bawl her eyes out as Zekrom brought in yet another tray of poképuffs._

_The massive bird snatched it up, having abandoned class long ago as she dumped all of them into her mouth._

_As she swallowed them whole, Reshiram spoke up._

_"Well, dear, your concerns about Lugia are valid, of course..."_

_"Mm-hmm..."_

_"But, quite frankly, you shouldn't worry too much about him. It's abundantly clear that he loves you, and if he's decided not to propose, then maybe he's just not ready."_

_Ho-oh sniffed._

_"But what it that means he wants to break up?"_

_"Oh, I doubt that highly."_

_"Trust me, he won't," Zekrom spoke up, refilling the female's cups. "You're pretty much all he ever talks about. Well, that, and what a hassle his kids are."_

_The bird frowned._

_"I've been wanting to talk to him about that. They seem to have a strained relationship..."_

_She wiped her eyes._

_"But, what if--"_

_Reshiram placed a claw on her wing._

_"You need to stop dwelling on "What If"s, Ho-oh. You should focus on the now, and worry about the future later."_

_The bird sighed, lying her head on the table._

_"But that's so hard..."_

_The white dragon nodded.__"It is. But it's good to try."_

_Suddenly, the bird jolted up, vibrating._

_The dragons shared a worried glance._

_"Um...Ho-oh...?"_

_"MY MOTHER SENSES ARE **TINGLING.**__"_

_"...Oh?"_

_"**MY CHILDREN ARE DOING SOMETHING STUPID,**" She screeched, launching herself out of the chair._

_"**ULTIMATE MOTHER: AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!**"_

_She then proceeded to launch herself upwards._

_However, she was still weakened from uncontrollable crying and weighed down by 14 trays of hors-de-ouivers, and merely crashed into the ceiling and knocked herself out._

_The dragons stared for a moment before Reshiram sighed._

_"Zekry, go get a super potion, would you...?"_

"Oh...don't worry about it."

She blinked, twitching slighty.

"Why are my mother senses tingling...?"

Knowing what was to come, the dragons rushed to her, quietly escorting her towards the window.

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing," Reshiram said sweetly, albeit a bit rushed.

"Maybe you should go home and rest your nerves? We had a rather long talk last night," Zekrom added.

Ho-oh blinked.

"Oh, that's right...mm, perhaps I'll try and relax myself."

She prepared for takeoff.

"Thank you both, for our, er, talk, _and _letting me sleep here."

She beat her wings and was off.

The dragons watched her go.

Reshiram looked at Zekrom.

Zekrom looked at Reshiram.

They looked at each other.

The two leaned in...

The section of roof that Ho-oh had smahed her head against the night before gave out, breaking all over the floor.

The two glanced at it.

"Ultimate mother indeed," Zekrom sighed.

* * *

Ho-oh glided down into a landing, padding into the abandoned Tin Tower.

Bell Tower stood high across the city, but she still hadn't entered it yet.

_*I should probably go there at **some **point...those humans **did **build it for me...but...*_

She flapped around, banishing the thoughts from her head.

She trotted towards the massive hole consuming most of the floor; she was on the top level, so she peered down to the bottom.

"Boys?!"

Her mother senses wouldn't leave her alone, so she deigned to check on her children before heading home.

"Suicune?! Raikou?! Entei?!"

Upon recieving no response, she frowned.

_*They must be out. Oh dear...*_

Suddenly, her nonexistent ears picked up on sounds of an unnaturally hard rushing wind.

And...voices.

Screaming voices.

Craning her head around, she saw a quickly approaching shadow sailing towards the tower from high above through a hole in the wall.

She dived out of the way just as it--_they, _rather, came smashing down through the ceiling, 7 screaming Pokémon and a sleigh creating a new hole.

They then proceeded to go down through the aforementioned giant hole in the floor, landing on the final level's floor with a **_THUD._**

"Owwwwww..."

This was the overall moaning sent up from the crasheés.

Upon recognizing the voices, Ho-oh inmediately sailed down to where they had ended up.

Suicune, Entei, Raikou, Zapdos, Articuno, and Moltrés lay in odd harnesses, which were twisted around as the birds and dogs shifted in their pain.

The pheonix's eyes widened.

"Are all of you alright?!" She cried, rushing over.

She pulled each of her children out of their harnesses, almost swearing she heard a "slower, baby..." mumble from Raikou as she did his.

The dogs groaned, each lying down, some--*COUGH* Raikou *COUGH COUGH*--less gracefully than others.

Suicune groaned, placing a paw on his head.

"The next time we do something like that, I'm _not _going to be up front."

"Ditto..." Entei moaned, rubbing his right eye.

Indeed, the two had gotten the brunt of the initial force, having taken the roof literally head-on.

Ho-oh moved her blue son's paw, placing her wing on his head and using her fire to heal him up.

He purred as the heat consumed his whole body.

Once finished, she removed her wing.

"Thanks, mom..."

She did the same to the other two, Entei giving a small whine when she finished; he didn't want her to stop.

The two gave similar thanks to their brother as she took a step back.

"Boys," She began softly, "What on _earth _are you _doing?_"

Her eyes drifted towards the sleigh.

They then widened.

"Is...is that a _cake?!_"

Somehow, the cake had been miraculously unharmed.

The dogs looked at each other.

They then looked at her.

They pointed their legs.

"It was Articuno's idea."

A groan came from said bird, who was sprawled out on her back.

"Moltrés was the one who got yelled at..."

Moltrés lifted her head, eyes spinning.

"Zapdos brought up the fact that Uncle and Auntie haven't gotten married yet. Also, he imitated me..."

Zapdos shakily stood, gagged, tripped to a nearby crevice and puked.

Staggering back over, he added his peice.

"Mewtwo and Latios wanted to play the dang game in the first place..."

Ho-oh, eyes widening, headed over and freed the birds whilst healing them as well.

"What," She began, "Are you all _talking _about?!"

There was a groan from the far wall behind her.

Whirling around, she found a white and purple lump slumped over upside-down on said wall.

She gaped.

"_Mewtwo?!_"

A groan in response.

Sighing, she went to him as well, glad that the clone wasn't wearing a harness. She healed him anyway, though.

Picking him up in her talons, she dropped him with the group, going to stand before them.

"Kids, I'm going to ask one more time:

"_What are you all **doing?!**_"

They all shared looks.

Articuno then took over, looking and sounding as innocent as possible.

"Oh, Auntie, we were just trying to help Uncle, that's all..." She cooed, batting her eyelashes.

"Really!!" Zapdos piped up, flapping his wings and looking like an overly-apologetic child. "We was just tryin' to be nice!! 'Specially 'cause we keep cuttin' 'im off!!"

"It was an apology, really," Moltrés cooed. "For how..._inconsiderate _we've been."

They glanced at Mewtwo.

The looks in their eyes screamed_ "PLAY ALONG"_.

He gulped, fiddling with his weird hand-paw thingies.

"_And...well...you two do make a...nice couple_."

Zapdos fought with all of his nonexistent willpower to hold in his explosion of laughter.

Ho-oh gaped.

"...Dear mercy, _what did you do to your Uncle?!_"

* * *

Lugia's eyes slowly opened.

He was greeted by dark blue, his body upside-down.

He tried to move, but ended up banging himself on the hard walls of...whatever he was trapped in.

_*...Okay, don't panic, Lugia. Try and figure out what--*_

He heard voices outside.

Listening, he was pretty sure it was the kids...Ho-oh's kids...and...Ho-oh herself?

He attempted to move again, wanting to shift himself upright.

_*Am I...**underwater**?*_

The numbness in his body began to fade, and he felt the cold peirce his body like knives.

_*UNDERWATER INDEED.*_

Unable to get himself upright, the massive bird sighed and leaned his head against the wall.

He tried to remember...

_*--Wait a minute.*_

The memories of his kids--and possible future kids--essentially turning into mob bosses returned.

His eyes widened.

_*Wait...okay, they blasted me...the others came out of the forest when Moltrés lured me...what am I **missing?***_

Suddenly, a rather terrifying thought hit him.

_*Wait...**of the kids have finally snapped, Ho-oh could be in danger.***_

* * *

"--And so, if, hypothetically, say, our Uncle may or may not have been planning to ask you a specific question, which he may or may not have been planning to--"

Ho-oh facewinged.

_*I don't know **what **they're stalling for, but this is going on my Top Ten Worst 15 Minutes of My Life list.*_

Suddenly, the cake began to vibrate.

The kids immediately shut up, turning their heads towards it.

The it clicked in said heads.

"INCOMING!!" Suicune cried, making a mad dash out of the way.

The other kids followed suit, and a very confused Ho-oh flew up above it.

A few seconds later, the cake exploded.

A blinding light shone out as The Guardian of the Sea sailed out of it with a mighty battle cry.

Once the dramatic entrance ended, he was promptly splattered in cake remains.

That then knocked him to the ground, the glops of frosting sticking to his feathers and the chunks of various peices and decor splattered across his body.

Opening his eyes and looking up, he found seven Pokémon were now standing over him.

"Ya good, Uncle?" Zapdos asked.

The bird opened his beak, but before he could answer, Raikou spoke up.

"Does he really have time to worry about that? He better ask before something that _isn't _you guys interrupts."

"Fair point," Moltrés replied.

They all scrambled out of the way, planting themselves on the far wall, watching.

Mewtwo teleported them all popcorn.

Lugia blinked, when he suddenly heard flapping descending towards him.

Looking up, he found the epitome of beauty land in front of him.

Ho-oh helped him up.

"Lugia, _what. On. Earth._"

"I'm...not entirely sure myself." He replied. "I they kidnapped me."

"FORGET OUR METHODS, JUST ASK ALREADY YA BUM!!" Articuno screeched impatiently.

Yells of agreement came from her companions.

Lugia wracked his brain...

And his jaw dropped.

_*They...were setting us up?*_

He then turned back to Ho-oh, who seemed to be waiting on him.

Her eyes had begun to sparkle.

He took a deep breath.

_*Here goes nothing.__*_

He reached out and took her wing in his frosting-covered one."Ho-oh," he began, "I have literally been trying to do this for a couple of months. And, oddly enough, the very thing preventing it has finally brought us together for this moment."

He glanced at his kids, the back to his girlfriend.

"When I was first re-awakened, it was because of some prophesy at a festival dedicated to me. The kids were apparently being kidnapped, and when they got out, started trying to kill each other. As usual."

Anticipating an argument, Mewtwo grabbed Zapdos beak and held it shut.

"So, after that was...settled, I didn't go back to my slumber. I decided to go back to the surface life, at least for a little while. Mostly to make sure those three didn't kill themselves, each other, or any random people."

Mewtwo reached over and held Articuno's beak shut.

"But, then, I met...well, _re-met _you. We hadn't seen each other in years, and...well...I guess old feelings don't die easily, because as soon as I saw how beautiful you were, I was in love all over again."

Ho-oh blushed at the memory.

"I remember it didn't take us long to start dating--we _were _both having feelings, and once we were done catching up we pretty much did everything together.

"That, my dear, was over ten years ago. I have ten years--heck, however many years since creation--years' worth of memories. And, quite frankly, I'm ready for more."

He leaned in.

"Ho-oh..."

He paused, just to make sure there wouldn't be another interruption.

Mewtwo reached out with his Psychic and held the birds--and himself--in place.

Lugia inhaled, then exhaled.

"Ho-oh...would you be my Mate?"

Not a second later, he was tackled by a happily-crying Ho-oh, and nuzzled uncontrollably.

"YES YES YES YES YES YES _OH YES!!!!!_ WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!"

He paused...

Then laughed, kissing her.

Off to the side, seven kids let out an uproar of cheers, happy that their parents finally were.

* * *

**And...there ya go!!**

**Satisfying? I hope so, 'cause I ain't changing it XD**

**Welp, this was a wild ride, and, quite frankly, I'm happy I'm finally done.**

**(No, CotA is still going, this arc is just done)**

**Now, this isn't the end of the bonding for the birds and the dogs!! (And Mewtwo, yay!) In fact, they'll be together...on a vacation!!**

**That, however, will be a separate story, so watch my page, will ya?**

**We'll return to "normalcy" next chappie, so make sure to review!!**

**Alright, so, the whole Mates for Life thing has a thing with marriage bands, but not an official wedding ceremony, so sorry if you wanted that.**

**But, Pokemon _can _have a wedding...like when Solgaleo and Lunala--**

**_OOOOOOOOOPS_**

**I said too much!! ;)**

**Anyhow, if y'all still care:**

**PKM Sun Updates:** **GUESS WHO JUST CAUGHT SOLGALEO BABY!!!!**

**Hehe yeah, it's been a while since I updated y'all about this, so I did some stuff. I'll be hitting up the Elite Four soon, so stay tuned!!**

**My team:**

**Blitz the Incineroar (Level 55)**

**OwO the Butterfree (Level 54)**

**Grace the Espeon (Level 50)**

**Hank the Vaporeon (Level 53)**

**Bandit the Alolan Raticate (Level 50)**

**Jewels the Alolan Persian (Level 51)**

**I think I got all that right XD**

**WPFOTD: If you hacked a Mew or Deoxys into Firered or Leafgreen, they were orogrammed to not obey you.**

**Welp, See Ya Next Chappie!!!**


	35. Watchful Worldkeeper

**Aaaaaaaaaand we're back, baby!!**

**Firelord: Ah, the...Tapus. Right. *Clears throat***

**I, in a way, have been...avoiding that, yeah.**

**Buuuuut, they'll actually be appearing in _Disaster Vacation, _so stay tuned.**

**Okay, ironically, I thought the same thing about Lele.**

**Dude, seriously, are you and I long-lost twins or something...?**

**Thorns97: Hey, welcome! Glad you're enjoying. Also, if you want to see my full on "Why I Hate Ash Ketchum" list, there's a pin on Pinterest where I went on a rant. Username's Dazzling Eevee.**

**Mega: (Yay, it finally happened!**

**Now we can move on and theorize about what Arceus was doing this entire time, how many windows were broken, when Nuzlocke-Destroyer -I mean Necrozma- is gonna show up (I haven't forgotten!), is the last chapter of "A Pokemon World" is canon in your universe, y'know, the usual...**

**Seriously though, the last 2 propositions may be worth thinking abou )**

**Necrozma killed him before he finished his review XD**

**PK: Me glad you likey.**

**lukekriebs: Thank ya. Same, honestly; it was fun driving Lugia nuts, but I'm glad we're done.**

**That being said, shall we?**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokémon, it would be a literal disaster._**

* * *

The legendaries passed out their congradulations to the happy couple, who had just broken the news to everyone.

"_Well, I'm not going to lie,_" Arceus began, "_It's about time, you two._"

"I agree completely," Lugia replied, Ho-oh nuzzling into him.

"_So, for your Marriage Band Ceremony, are we talking a big deal or..._"

"Oh, just a small ceremony, nothing major." Ho-oh piped up, shifting away from her mate.

She then frowned.

"We wanted the kids to be there, but...well..."

The birds glanced at each other uneasily.

Everybody became slightly confused.

"Y'all fight or somethin'?" Celebi asked.

"We aren't entirely sure," Lugia replied. "A couple hours after the initial..._propsal, _Zapdos and Mewtwo informed us that the seven of them had decided to take a vacation together and that we'd see them in a few weeks. Then they took off, and we haven't seen any of them since."

"They should be on their plane right now, actually," Ho-oh added, glancing at a nearby clock.

Arceus tilted his head.

"_So...shall you be waiting until they return, or..._"

"Again, not sure," Lugia sighed. "They didn't tell us when they'd be back. So we don't know how long we'd be waiting."

"And the banding ceremony is so magical!!" Ho-oh cried. "I remember Reshiram and Zekrom's. So beautiful...I wanted the kids to experience that, since it'll probably be a while before they have their own."

"_Well, in that case, I'll leave it up to you two._" Their creator conceded. "_Just let me know when you're ready--a week in advance, at the very least._"

"No problem," Lugia agreed, the two making their exit.

Everyone else slowly filed out.

Arceus turned, heading towards--

"Um, Arceus?"

The llama god paused, turning around.

"_Yes, Giratina?_"

The massive dragon shifted slighty, ruffling his wings.

"Where have you been? We haven't seen you around lately."

Arceus blinked.

"_Oh. That. Well, I've been trying to figure some things out about this 'Rainbow Rocket' business._"

This sparked the devil's interest.

"Really?!"

Arceus nodded.

"_I'm trying to keep as close an eye on them as I can, and see how strong they are. Hopefully, we can obliterate them immediately if need be._"

Giratina tilted his head to the side.

"You sound..._unsure _about that last part."

If Arceus could bite his lip, he would've.

"_Sadly...I am. To an extent._"

Giratina flapped his wings.

"Why? Did something happen??"

The white beast looked away.

"_...A long time ago, yes._"

"Huh?"

Arceus sighed.

"_Do you know about my mother, Giratina?_"

This took the dragon by suprise.

"Um...kinda. She was a Mew, right?"

A nod.

"_Is that all you know?_"

"Um...she created you, and helped you make the universe, right?"

Arceus closed his eyes.

"_In a way, yes. She helped me create **earth.**_"

He turned, floating to a nearby window.

"_H__ave you ever been to space, Giratina?_"

"Um...not myself, no. But Palkia goes a lot. Well, not much recently, but you get the idea. But he's brought back some pictures--oh, the selfies with Deoxys are funny, he hates it when Palkia shows up."

"_Oh, he probably secretly likes the attention._"

"Heh, probably. But, uh, those pictures are really awesome."

"_Of course._"

He turned back to Giratina.

"_You see, Giratina, when my mother...passed, what was left of her powers that weren't passed down to me--in addition to my own, of course--spread out amongst...well, essentially everything that isn't earth._

"_Space wasn't created by me, but by what was left of her. Her powers created everything that I didn't. But..._"

Giratina leaned in.

"But...?"

"_Her powers not only created, but they also, as I've found, 'infected' what was already created._"

Giratina blinked.

"Infected...?"

"_Indeed. It happened over the course of the millenias, slowly enhancing Pokemon and Humankind alike.The very planet itself, as well._"

Giratina felt a feeling of dread fill his gut.

"...You mean...the humans are stronger than us?"

"_Not on their own. And not entirely. But, with them working together, and combining minds as polluted and evil as theirs, I myself am unsure of what exactly could happen._"

He turned around again, facing the window.

"_And, as was brought up before, they will probably want to come after us as well._"

The dragon's mind flashed back to a few years ago.

Forcing the memories away, he took a step towards Arceus.

"But, like you said, we can just blow up their bases and them, right? Isn't that what Mewtwo did?"

Arceus paused.

This would have been a perfect time to purse his lips. Oh well.

"_Mewtwo...Mewtwo is another story, Giratina.__ And he merely blew up the lab, not all of Team Rocket._"

He turned back to the dragon.

"_The humans could just use their own strength against us...__but you and I both know that won't happen._"

Giratina gave a solemn nod.

Arceus walked back towards the devil.

He did something unexpected; he put his foreleg around Giratina's shoulders and pulled him into a small hug.

"_If the worst comes to pass, Giratina, all we can do is our best._"

He broke away, stepping back.

"_Perhaps you should head on out; I wouldn't want to keep you hoveled up in here, listening to an old god's paranoia._"

All the dragon could do was nod, stepping back as well.

"Um...thanks, Arceus. For...warning me."

"_Of cours__e_."

Giratina turned, starting to walk out.

"_Oh, Giratina? One last thing._"

He paused, turning to his creator.

The beast gave him a solemn look.

"_Remember: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer._"

* * *

Giratina entered the distortion world, his form changing.

Cyrus was waiting for him...

"...Why's your fur pink?"

The ninetails sighed.

"I wanted lemonade. I tried to make lemonade. I wanted _pink _lemonade. _Jupiter _used to make me lemonade. Jupiter made me _pink _lemonade. I do not know how to make lemonade."

He rose, stalking off.

Giratina watched him go.

_*Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.*_

**Short chapter, I know, but I wanted to give some insight as to what Arceus has beem doing this past while. We haven't seen him in ages.**

**Plus, answers to questions about the Legendaries powers and such.**

**PKM Sun Progress: I BEAT THE ELITE FOUR, caught Tapu Koko (he has been dubbed "Almighty Z"), Lillie ditched me and Hau, and Kukui still won't put on a stupid shirt.**

**WPFOTD: The oval stone, and evolutionary stone in the games, can only be used on one Pokémon.**

**Happiny.**

**Also, you have to have Happiny _holding _the stone, during the day, and leveling up.**

**.****..I'm gonna evolve the stupid things and sell the rest of the stupid stones.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	36. AKWAAAAAAAAARD

**Wazzup.**

**Anon Omega: Thanks!**

**lukekriebs: You're on the right track...**

**PK: *Gets splattered with lemonade* Ah, yeah, the lemonade. Cyrus literally could have just asked Giratina to take him to the nearest vending machine and he could've bought one. Plus, it would have tasted all the more sweeter since he's a Pokemon now.**

**Mega: YOU'RE BREAKING MY MIND FURTHER AND I DON'T LIKE IT. NECROZMA, GET 'IM!!!**

**Firelord: "Pokéfiles". That's...that's pretty clever.**

**Welp, who's ready for a reeeeeeaaaaaally reeeeeaaaaaally awkward chapter full of pent up tension, romance, complete idiocy, Latias shenanigans, and Keldeo sitting in the back of the room at all times with binoculars and dressed as a wizard?**

**Oh, and idiot waiters. Gotta love the idiot waiters.**

**Warning: chapter contains innuendos, slightly suggestive themes, and uncomfortable talk about Ditto and Pokémon hormones/breeding/preferances. It's not the main focus though, so don't worry. (Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing...feel free to be dissapointed)**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk_."

* * *

"So...where we headed?"

Mew floated along with Celebi, the two heading to the double-blind-date Lugia had agreed to set up.

"Ya know 'bout them secret 'underground' rest'rants owned by actual Pokémon?" The fairy replied.

Mew stopped mid-air.

"Don't tell me we're going to a _pub_\--"

"Naw, naw. Girl, you think Lugia's ever set 'is high-brow claw in a pub? Heck naw. It's an actual fancy place; some Slowkin' owns it. It's in a cliffside overlookin' the ocean, so there oughta be actual windows!"

"Oh, that's good," The cat exhaled.

Her friend raised a brow.

"You feelin' alright, Mews? Ya love goin' to the pub--"

"Heysowhatarethesebandsforagain??" The sweating mythical spluttered quickly, changing the subject.

Indeed, the two were wearing brightly colored bands; seafoam green for Mew, and rouge for Celebi.

"Oh, 'e said to know who's suppos'a be datin' who," The onion replied. "My guy'll be wearin' pink, yours'll be wearin' green."

"Oh, alright."

As they floated on, Mew couldn't help but feel a sense of dread creeping up on her shoulders.

* * *

"This is so weird."

Victini thought aloud as he and Shaymin traveled towards the restaurant.

Shaymin, in his sky form, bounded along on the ground, looking up at him.

"Not gonna lie, yeah. It is. I mean, all the dude said was that he agreed to set some girls up on double dates and that we were probably the best candadites."

"That...that's really sad, when you think about it."

"It is. Not as bad as you and Keldeo, though."

"Hey, don't insult my best friend!...But, yeah, you're kinda right."

The males then looked at their bands.

"So...whoever I'm supposed to be dating is wearing pink, and whoever you're supposed to be dating is wearing green?" Victini wondered.

"That's what he said, I think," Shaymin replied.

"...Do you feel a little scared? I feel a little scared and I'm not sure why..."

"Well, I'm a little nervous--I'm about 85% sure that he saw me and Latias watching him and Ho-oh that one time, so I really hope it's not some crazy ditto or something."

"Yikes. Ditto are...yikes."

"Amen, brother."

A question then popped into the fire type's brain.

"Hey, speaking of which, it's Friday in this universe. Aren't ya supposed to be with Latias?"

"Eh, I told her to go on without me 'cause I got a thing. Don't you normally hang with Keldeo? Like, always?"

"Eh, I kinda did the same thing as you. We were gonna binge on "Lord of the Plates" Movies, but he said we could do it next week."

"Huh."

They continued, but then paused, looking at each other.

They then looked behind them.

And up at the sky.

Seeing nobody, they continued on.

* * *

Latias released her breath, peeking back over her cloud.

She had to act fast when they turned around; she did not want Shaymin to know she was following them.

She then caught a glimpse of something blue, purple, and sparkly creeping in the bushes.

Confused yet intrigued, she floated down, parting the bushes.

Keldeo shrieked, jumping backwards.

The female dragon tilted her head to the side.

"Uh...what's with the wizard getup?"

Indeed, he was clad in complete wizardry; an oversized cloak that obscured his entire body (save his chest and forelegs), his infamous wizard hat, an odd scarf with an emblem in the middle, and a weird looking bag.

His entire outfit was covered in sparkles.

"I'm following Victini, duh."

The horse tilted his head to the side.

"What's with the Drill Seargant getup?"

Indeed, Latias was dressed in a drill seargant's getup, complete with the helmet, outfit, and badly-smeared paint. She also had a shotgun strapped to her back.

"I was doing something for Groudon and didn't have time to change!!" She huffed.

"Oh."

An idea popped into his head.

Digging into his bag, he pulled out a set of hankercheifs, some very-expensive looking cosmetic items, and a sparkly dark-purple cloak.

"Here ya go!!" He dumped the items into her arms.

"Eh--huh??"

"To clean off!! Don't worry, I'll look away. Curtesy, y'know? Oh, also, instructions are on the back of the bottles and stuff."

He turned around, pulling out a book to read.

Latias blinked.

* * *

"Oh. My. Arceus. My scales are literally so smooth it puts Moltrés to shame."

"See? I don't have way to many products for nothing!!"

The two had somehow managed to make their way to the restaurant, beating the dateés.

Once getting a table as far in the back as blatantly possible, the two had, inevitably, blabbed that they were spying on their friends.

Now, various Pokémon waiters were glancing at the door, awaiting the incoming disaster their gods would bring.

Latias continued to feel her face while Keldeo held the binoculars up, watching the door.

Suddenly, he dropped them, face paling.

This caught the dragon's attention.

"KK? You good?"

The pony snatched up the binoculars again, using rather profane language under his breath.

This confused her even more, as he was on her "Top Ten People I Doubt Use Curse Words" List.

I mean, he was number 8, so it wasn't too bad.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

He shoved the binoculars into her claws and pointed at the two that had just entered the establishment.

"Mew and Celebi just came in. And they're wearing the date bands."

Latias was overtaken by confusion.

"So, that's bad because..."

He gave an exasperated whistle, placing a hoof on his forehead.

"You know about Mew and Victini's history?"

"History?!" She spluttered. "I thought he liked her!!"

The horse glanced at the door, biting his lower lip.

"Well, I can't tell you all of it, because it's not really my story to tell, and I don't know all the details, but...yeah, they were a serious thing. Like, serious serious."

There was a glint in her eyes.

But, when she turned back to the doorway, she frowned.

"Don't tell me they..."

"Mew broke it off," He sighed, leaning back. "Vic...he'll deny it to the Distortion Realm and back, but he...never really got over her. He still isn't."

The dragon's eyes widened.

"Lugia--"

"Whether or not Mew's his date doesn't really matter, either way this is gonna be SUPER awkward."

Latias placed a claw to her chin, giving a "hmm..."

"Well," she began, "I wouldn't really say it doesn't matter at all, because if they're here to see other people, or each other, it'll create different kinds of awkwardness for the whole night."

"Huh...yeah."

They looked at each other...

"Entei really picked a bad week to go to Alola."

* * *

**Melemele Island...**

"We picked the perfect week to come to Alola!!" Entei cheered as he snapped various pictures at Kala'e Bay.

* * *

**Now, back to our story...**

Mew and Celebi spoke to the Slowpoke at the counter, informing him that they were two for Lugia's reservation.

The pink male jotted that down, not quite registering that he was currently speaking to, essentially, his gods.

Mew turned to her friend, who had begun examining the interior of the establishment.

"Cozy," Celebi murmured, bobbing up and down. "Wooden interi'a, nice, wonder how they gots it in the cliffside...pretty bannas, nice, nice..."

Mew tapped her.

"Celbs, we can go to our booth while we wait."

"Oh, 'kay."

A well-dressed Kadabra came, escorting them there immediately.

"_Would you require drinks, ladies?_?" He asked politely.

"Nah, we can wait, cutie." Celebi winked.

The psychic type, face turned a deep red, informed them that once the males had arrived he would be back.

As he left, Mew rolled her eyes.

"Celbs, you forget we're waiting on dates?"

"Hey, we dunno if this is gonna be a long-term deal or not, Mewsie. I'll take what I can get!"

Mew snorted, but didn't say anything else.

A few minutes later, two figures came bursting through the door, panting.

Several of the staff rushed to them, making sure they were alright.

When asked, this was their response:

"THERE IS A PACK OF OCCULT DITTO NEARBY AND THEY WANT SOME BABIES."

As disturbing as that was, once the two had calmed down and informed them why they were here, the Kadabra from earlier led them to the booth.

Upon seeing who was joining them, Mew froze.

* * *

Victini stared across the table blankly.

Mew stared back.

Upon figuring out that Victini was supposed to be with Celebi and Shaymin with Mew, they sat accordingly; Mew and Shaymin across from each other, and Celebi and Victini as well.

The tension in the air was so thick you'd need Excalibur to cut through it.

Shaymin, of course, was lost in his little world of _*I'M ON A DATE WITH MEW THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE* _and didn't seem to be coming down for the time being.

Celebi, on the other hand, watched her best friend and her best-friend's-ex have a blank staring match while waiting for the waiter to bring the wines she ordered.

From what she could gather, Mew was actually staring at Victini, mostly in disbelief, whereas Victini seemed to be staring into the void.

The fairy drummed her tiny claws on the table, impatiently wondering where her wine was.

She glanced over at Shaymin.

"Oi, ShayShay, you on Earth?"

He snapped out of his trance, looking confused.

"Eh--what?"

"Takin' that as a "no". Anyhow, whatcha doin' here?"

He gazed at Mew longingly, starting to ascend again.

"I'm on a date...what's it look like~?"

"Naw, I mean, where's yer frien'? The crazy dragon lady?"

He snapped back out of it.

"Oh, uh, Latias? Uh, I told her I had a thing and we couldn't hang out tonight. I'm suprised she didn't follow us, honestly."

"Huh. Where's his horse guy?" She jutted her thumb in Victini's direction.

"Same thing, really. At least, that's what he said."

Celebi glanced around the restaurant, her gut telling her that they were, in all honesty, probably being watched.

Keldeo and Latias noticed her gaze travelling around, so they did the most logical things they could think of:

The first things that popped into their heads.

Latias dived under the table, and when the onion fairy's eyes went to said table, Keldeo proceeded to yell:

"I CLAP MAH A*CHEEKS FOR A LIVIN'!!"

Chuck a smokebomb at the ceiling, and make a run for the bathroom in blind panic.

(We're going to ignore the fact that he ran into the girl's bathroom by accident.)

All attention in the restaurant was temporarily directed to the spot he had been in, but everybody eventually shrugged it off.

"Looked like some weird Ponyta," Victini muttered, looking down at his paws.

"Musta been Shiny, I saw some weird colors on there." Celebi added.

There was some silence before Mew awkwardly broke said silence.

"So...you guys...ran into some Ditto Cult?"

Victini's head snapped up, and Shaymin shuddered.

"We took a wrong turn and they captured us," The deer-like mon shuddered more. "Really uncomfortable ropes, roo. For some sort of..."

He gagged.

"...Orgy ceremony."

"THAT would be why we were LATE," the fire type growled. "I don't think they realize that Legendaries have breeding problems. And that some Pokémon have standards."

"Ya say that like ya've had this probl'm before," Celebi mused.

Victini's face was immediately buried in his hands, face reddening.

"Let's not talk about this."

Mew's eyes clicked to the side.

"...Are you sure you didn't enjoy that? Even a little...?"

His ears flicked, and he looked up.

"'Scuse me, what--"

"I mean, you know," she snickered. "Since you seem to have a...ahem...thing for pink Pokémon."

Across the room, Keldeo shoved Latias back under the table before climbing under there himself, covering his ears.

"KK!! What--"

"Neither one of us needs to be hearing this conversation."

Victini slammed his hands on the table

"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH--"

"If I may?"

All paused and turned to the Poliwrath standing at the side of their table.

"Oh...uh..."

"Your drinks, I mean," he continued. "I'm here to take your drink orders."

Celebi blinked.

"Uh, no 'ffense or whatever, but where'd Kadabra guy go?"

"Ah, there was an incident in the kitchen that we needed his help with." The water-type replied.

His head raised up from the pad he was writing on.

"Oh, were you all the lot who ordered the wine? I'm sorry, the incident involved several substances from our wine cellar, so I'll go fix that immediately."

As he walked away, the four stared at each other.

"...That was the most articulate Poliwrath I've ever met," Shaymin commented.

"Really though."

Silence reinged for a moment.

Shaymin morphed in a flash of light, now in his hedgehog form.

Mew didn't realize what she said next until the words had left her mouth.

"Aw, darn. I like your other form."

It wasn't a lie.

The flash of light that occured happened so fast that everybody was left wondering if it had actually happened.

However, proof that it did was found in Shaymin, back in his Sky form, blushing madly.

Latias facepalmed hard.

"Oh my Arceus, he's desperate. And it's painfully obvious."

Mew's eyes clicked away from his.

_*Aw crap, don't tell me he **likes **me...*_

The Poliwrath returned, delivering the wine at last.

"FINALLY!!" Celebi cheered, taking a swig and downing an entire bottle.

Mew rolled her eyes.

The Poliwrath also delivered their menus, giving the four some more time to decide.

Victini practically buried his face in his, praying for death--and something to choke on.

_*I **really **wish Keldeo was here to bail me out...*_

Across the room, Keldeo frowned.

"Uh, Lats? I think I should probably go bail 'Tini out--"

"But then they'd know we were following them!" The dragon, still wearing the sparkly cape he'd given her, wailed.

"Dude, _I think they were expecting it--_"

"But that doesn't mean we can't still stalk them!!"

"...Isn't that illegal...?"

Both heads turned to find a nervous-looking Cincinno, clad in a tuxedo, standing there with a notepad.

Upon being noticed, he gave a slight shriek and sank back.

"S-Sorry, my--er, my gods, I didn't mean to...uh...intrude..."

The two legends blinked, looking at each other.

"Nobody's ever called me a god before." Keldeo noted.

"Same here." Latias agreed.

They both looked at the Cincinno, who was now shrinking back even more.

"I'm, er, sorry, I didn't mean to offend--"

"Dude, it's fine." Keldeo dismissively waved his hoof.

"It...eh?"

"Yeah!!" Latias chirped. "That's nice of you!! Oh, and about the illegal thing, those two guys over there are our friends, and we wanted to watch them because we have no lives!!"

Keldeo smacked her over the back of the head.

"Ack!! Hey, it's true!! Why do you think I watch people date from a cloud every Friday?"

The Cinccino, confused, glanced over to the table in question.

"Oh, you mean the...um...double-date?"

"Yep!! Shaymin and Victini both had stuff to do, and we followed 'em!!"

She then began the dramatic anime cry sequence, blowing her non-existent nose.

"_I'm so proud!!_ He finally has a chance at love!!"

"Won't be much t' be proud of when Victini finally has a heart attack," Keldeo grumbled, looking into the binoculars.

The Cinccino, still a little confused, nodded.

"Well then...erm...are you two ready to order...?"

Back at the double-date table, Victini still hadn't looked up from his giant menu.

Celebi's claws suddenly appeared at the top, her peeking over.

"Ey, Vic'ni, you good?"

"HUH?!"

He snapped out of it, shaking his head.

"Sorry, what?"

"Ya good?" She asked again.

"Uh...sure. I guess. Swell. Great. Absolutely _greeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaat..._"

...He then proceeded to slam his head onto the table.

However, a thought entered his brain, causing him to lift his head up.

"...I'm not bein' a very good date, am I?"

Celebi blinked.

"Eh?"

"I mean," he started, "I've kinda been paying more attention to my ex--_who I pray isn't listening in right now_\--when I'm actually on a date with you. You don't, like, feel bad or anything, do you?"

Celebi blinked again.

"...Wow."

"...What?"

"Yer a _lot _nicer than Ah expected."

Victini's ears twitched.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah dunno, jus' expected ya to be, like, an inconsiderate teen or somethin'."

Now it was his turn to blink.

"What."

"Look, most o' my...uh...hearin's about yous is ya an' yer weird horse friend bein' stupid."

Across the room, Keldeo scoffed.

"I am a _pony, _thank you very much."

Victini opened his mouth, then shut it again.

"...Okay, fair point. But I'm not a brat!"

"Sheesh, I know now."

She looked him up and down.

"If ya was, at least yer cute."

His face turned a deep red.

"Wait, you think--"

"Excuse me, are you all ready to order?"

Once again, heads turned to find yet another different waiter, this one being a Zoroark.

"Terribly sorry to interrupt, but--"

"It's fine,'' Mew interjected, picking up her menu again.

Shaymin's ear twitched as he glanced at the waiter.

_*Why do we keep getting different--*_

He was broken from his thoughts by an abrupt jab in the side from Victini's elbow.

Said jab almost knocked him out of his seat, filled his entire side with pain, and probably left a bruise.

The girls confusedly looked at Victini, who gave them an "I'll explain later" look.

Glancing back at his menu, he raised a brow before ordering.

"I'll have the "HE NEEDS SOME MILK" Noodles, please."

"Gimme the "I Eat Pears" fruit salad." Celebi snorted.

Mew looked utterly disgusted as she stated, "What the heck is "Fre Shava Ca Do" supposed to be?!"

"Oh, it's a salad with a special kind of fresh avacados imported from the Hoenn Region, lettuce from Kanto, grapes from Alola, and topped with parmesan cheese from Kalos."

"I'll have that," Shaymin spoke up, rubbing his side.

Mew grimaced again.

"I'll just...have the...uh..."Deez Nuts" casserrole..."

The waiter jotted down their orders before leaving.

"Okay, I don't care how fancy this place is, whoever made those names has a serious problem." Mew complained.

"Speaking of _problem,_" Shaymin growled, turning to Victini, "What the _heck, _man?!"

"Huh?"

"_Whaddya mean, **huh?!**_" He snapped, showing off his forming bruise.

"Oh, that," Victini deadpanned. "Y'see, Keldeo and I get ourselves in so many bad situations, it's only a matter of time before one of us opens our big mouth and makes it ten times worse. So, over the years, we've become masters of the "Elbow Jab". But, since we tend to jab rach other in the same places, we've also developed a pain tolerance in those areas against elbow jabs. I forget not everyone has that, so sorry if I jabbed ya too hard."

The other three occupants of the table stared at him.

"...No worries," Shaymin replied slowly.

Latias put the binoculars down, looking at Keldeo.

"Is he serious?"

"Well, _yeah. _Why wouldn't he be?"

She stared at her companion, lips pursed.

"Here, I'll prove it. Jab me as hard as you can."

The pony lifted up his foreleg, allowing her free range of his side.

She shrugged and prepared to do so, but stopped.

"Wait, hang on."

She flew off to the girls bathroom, a flash of light erupting from it a few seconds after.

When she returned, she was Mega Evolved.

Keldeo gulped.

_*On second thought, this might actually hurt.__*_

"...Wait, but I was _thinking_," Shaymin countered. "How did you know what I was _thinking?_"

The other three glanced at each other.

"You two wanna tell 'im or should I?"

Celebi shrugged.

"Ya think out loud a lot more than ya realize."

Shaymin began blushing, glancing at Mew.

However, before any words were spoken, everyone in the establishment was distracted by a massive explosion in the side wall, leaving a giant hole.

A feminine scream accompanied by a purple blur flying out of it left everyone speechless.

"Darn, Keldeo would've gotten a kick out of that," Victini muttered dissapointedly.

"Latias probably would've had a feild day with it." Shaymin rolled his eyes.

Outside, Keldeo had dissapeared beneath the waters surface, Latias frantically flying around above it.

"Omygoshohmygoshohmygosh_Ikilledhim**hisparentsaregonnakill**__me_\--"

However, Keldeo's head burst from the water, him shooting water from his mouth.

"Huh, Johto water _is _clean."

Latias screamed again.

"**ZOMBIE!!**"

She then proceeded to summon an attack...which was taking a while to occur.

"Gah--I'm not a zombie, dude!! I'm a water type!!"

She paused.

"...Wait, what?"

"Well, water _fighting, _but you catch my drift."

She stared at him.

He tilted his head at her.

"What? Didn't know that?"

"...I thought you were a fire type."

He looked appalled.

"_What?!_"

"I've seen you shoot fire attacks!!" She argued. "And I thought fire types flocked together or something and that's why you and Victini were such good friends!!"

He stared at her...

Then let out a long, tired sigh.

"No. That's not how it works. At all. Like...not at all."

"...Eh?"

"Okay, so, like, you know about the elemental gems in Unova, right?"

"Kinda, but not really."

"Okay, so they boost the power of a Pokemon's move when you eat them. _But, _they only work for each specific typing."

He looked around, making sure nobody was listening in.

He leaned in closer to her.

"Victini and I have a giant reserve under our secret base. We didn't find out until a few years ago, but needless to say we freaked out.

"So, us being..._us, _wondered, "Hey, what would happen if we ate some gems that don't match our types?"."

Latias but her lip, having a bad feeling about where this was going.

"So, we decided to just try each others types, just to see."

He chuckled dryly, looking away.

"A giant mound of fire exploded out of my mouth and almost burnt the place down, and Victini almost died of a heart attack because of the water in his system."

Silence...

"I think you guys might actually be retarded."

"Hey--okayfineyoumightberight--but hey!!"

She tapped her Mega Stone, returning to normal.

"Anyhow, most of the other gems didn't hurt us too much--well, actually, I passed out for like a week when I ate a psyche gem--But they mostly gave us weird temporary attacks. Plus, they tasted pretty good. So sometimes--especially when we play our weird games or we're just really hungry--we'll eat some that aren't for our typings. _That's _why I was able to use that fire those times."

Latias was quiet for a moment.

"...You're a retarded _genious._"

Back inside, the food had finally been delivered.

Victini, who had been absentmidedly gnawing on a Fire Gem while the girls chatted and Shaymin was in Lala-Land, instantly brightened up, excited for his spicy noodles.

The Electabuzz waiter, unfortunately, was dyslexic, and was slightly confused from the writing on the notepad he had been given, as the previous waiter had terrible handwriting.

The four helped him out with it, earning several apologies before he made his exit.

"Poor guy," Shaymin muttered, taking a bite of his salad.

"Yeah," Celebi agreed, picking up her entire plate of food and shoveling it in her mouth.

Victini started slurping his noodles, but frowned after his first helping.

"Darn, these aren't even spicy! And it was the spiciest thing on the menu!!"

Shaymin glanced at the steaming noodles, them seemingly sparkling.

"...Can I, uh, try a bite?"

Victini shrugged, sliding him the bowl.

Shaymin ate some, feeling a slight tingle as he slurped.

Suddenly, Mew had an epihany.

"SHAYMIN NO--"

However, it was too late, and the poor, ignorant grass type spontaneously caught fire.

* * *

Shaymin awoke abruptedly, spluttering from the liquid splattered on his face.

Mew set down the full restore she'd been holding.

"Okay, he's good."

He blinked.

"What--"

"Ya caught fire from the noodles Vicky gave ya, so after we put that out, I used heal bell t' get rid of yer burns, but then we had t' use a revive, _then _Mew used a full restore on ya." Celebi explained.

He blinked.

"...Wow. Thanks."

He then turned to Victini.

"Why weren't those things spicy to you, though? If I could literally _catch fire, _I think they're pretty hot."

He clicked his tongue.

"Also, I can't feel the inside of my mouth. Like, at all."

Victini chuckled dryly.

"Fire Type Immunity. Sorry about that."

The deer blinked.

"Fire Type...?"

"Fire types are naturally pretty immune to spucy stuff," Victini explained, waving a paw dismissively. "However, we can still feel stuff if it's hot enough. _But, _the more spicy stuff you eat, the more your immunity builds. Me? I eat so much spicy stuff I'm number two on the most immune in the _world _list."

The three stared at him.

"...Who's the first?"

"Oh, Heatran, actually."

"Huh."

Silence reigned.

Mew snorted randomly.

"What?"

"That made me think of that time when we were dating and you took me to that Salsa Festival," She explained, taking a bute of her casserole. "You were all like, "_Come on babe it's not even that spicy!!_" and the next thing I know, I'm in a Pokémon Center for a week getting treated for internal burns."

Victini's face became extremely red.

"_Fine, _I forget about the immunity sometimes--"

"And then when I got out of the hospital, you made me pancakes as an apology, tipped off with those gem things from Unova. But you used the wrong kind, and I ended up _back _in the Pokémon Center because of food poisioning and internal bleeding."

Both grass types heads whipped to Victini.

"**_Internal Bleeding?!_**"

The fire type pulled his ears over his face.

"I accidently used fighting type gems."

The grass types looked at each other.

"...Oh."

"And _then, _when I got out of the hospital _again, _you tried to apologize _agai__n _by taking me to that special garden that had just opened up. Unfortunately, I'm highly allergic to Vileplume, and there were so many in there that I ended up _back _in the hospital with ten different sinus infections."

The grass types, whose mouths were wide open, stared at the accused once more.

"And then when I got out of the hospital _that _time--"

"How are you _this bad _at being a boyfriend?!" Shaymin exclaimed.

"NOBODY EVER EXPLAINED TO ME HOW TO BE A GOOD ONE!!" Victini screamed back, leaving his face covered.

"Wait," Celebi interjected, tapping her chin.

"I think I kinda 'member that one."

"...Wait, really?"

"Well, the inciden' _after _the garden one," She elaborated. "When ya got out of the hospital after the thing with the Whishcash."

Shaymin's eye twitched, his glare directed at Victini again.

"Y'see, yer brother an' I used t' be pretty good frien's, an' fer some reason he asked me fer advice on gettin' ol' Meloetta t' date 'im. Eventually we went off t' Unova to try an' hook 'em up."

She snorted at the memory.

"The dang trip was a disaster. A _complete _disaster. An' we all agreed to take it to our graves, so no details."

Shaymin pouted.

"Anyhow, when we got back, covered in status effects from head t' toe, we found y'all arguin' outside the hospital."

She giggled.

"Y'all were too busy arguin' to notice how torn up we were, an' ya started tellin' us aaaaaaaalllllll about yer experience. Hehe."

A thought then popped into her head.

"...Y'know, actually, that trip was the reason the paralysis effect was discovered."

Shaymin's jaw dropped.

"..._What._"

"Yeah, it was pretty bad."

Mew had gotten uncharacteristically quiet at the mention of her brother.

Shaymin noticed this, and gave her a sympathetic look.

"You okay, Mew?"

She blinked, exiting her stupor.

"Oh, I'm fine..."

Suddenly, two Pokemon came bursting in through the hole in the wall, bolting for the exit.

"SHARPEDO ATTACK!!!"

Everyone in the establishment looked at each other.

"Sharpedo--"

* * *

Indeed, several angry sharpedo had decided to destroy the restaurant.

One also ate the owner.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" An Octillery cried. "WHO'S GONNA SIGN MY PAYCHECK?!

* * *

The Legends and Mythicals stood outside, panting.

"What...in...the...world..."

"Author's gotta end this chapter somehow," Vitcini shrugged.

Shut up, Victini.

"Well, I'mheaded home." He stretched, turning to the shoreline.

"Seriously? Wait, how late is it?" Shaymin asked, looking around.

His eyes widened at the location ofthe moon.

"Oh man, it _is _late!! I better get home too!!"

Mew began to rise up.

"Well, by guys. Uh...thanks, I guess."

She flew off, Victini heading in the other direction.

Shaymin was about to go, when Celebi stopped him.

"Ey, ShayShay, hang on a sec."

He paused, looking up at her.

"What?"

"Eh, I was wonderin'..."

She looked away, rubbing the back of her head and blushing slightly.

"...You free next weekend?"

* * *

Victini flung the door to the secret base open, shutting it and then flopping down onto the couch.

Keldeo came out of the bathroom.

"Hey dude!! How was your thing?"

Victini tiredly looked up at him.

"We're going to Kalos tomorrow. Far, far away from Kanto and Johto."

He slammed his head back down.

He lifted it back up.

"Wait, did you stay here all night?"

"Actually, Latias and I hung out," He grinned. "Shaymin was busy too, so we kinda...flocked together, you could say. She's pretty fun."

"Oh, cool."

He slammed his head back down.

Keldeo tossed a blanket over him, bidding his friend goodnight.

* * *

**Well, was that a trainwreck or what?**** I blame Lugia.**

**Okay guys, I'm really sorry this took so long. It's just been...I dunno, I've been having motivation issues lately.**

**But, I won't bore you with the details.**

**Anyhow, this chappie was actually pretty different than how I first intended, but I still think it came out fine.**

**Now, update:**

**Okay, the reason _Disaster Vacation _is taking so long is because I've decided to write all the chapters at once and then release it. I might decide against it later, but that's the plan right now.**

**Unfortunately, that had also been affected by my motivational issues. But it should come around soon enough.**

**So, what did you guys think of this chappie and some of its exposition? Too akward? Not akward enough?**

**Oh, by the way, the whole Keldeo-Fire-Type-Thing actually sprouted from my own mis-typing on him. So, _my bad!_**

**WPFOTD: Mythical Pokemon cannot be traded through the GTS.**

**See ya next chappie!!**


	37. Mechanical Friendships

**Hey y'all.**

**Mega: Glad to be back! I figured you'd like the menu names XD.**

**Yeah, Shaymin can be pretty cute, can't he?**

**Firelord: Well, looking forward to your new one!! And the end of your current, I'm always checking to see if I missed a notification for it or something.**

**PK: Hmm...**

**Ri2: Yeah, it was pretty awkward, huh?**

**Shall we proceed?**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"_Telekinesis Talk._"

* * *

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Pokemon, Incineroar wouldn't be shooting Flamethrowers out of his diddlywhacker._**

* * *

"_So, where are we going again?_"

Magearna chirped as she skipped along with Volcanion, who walked steadily down the forest path.

"_Regigigas and I are going to do..."Cool Man Stuff", whatever that is,_" He half-sighed. "_You will be staying with his...'siblings' while I am gone._"

The mechanical bunny gave an excited gasp.

"_Like a **playdate?!**_"

"..._Sure. Like a playdate._"

Magearna squealed eagerly.

"_Oh, I remember when my princess and I would go to playdates--well, when she was younger, of course. There were always so many..._"

The man-made female continued to ramble as they made their way further down.

Well..._up, _rather.

The temperature began to drop, and the two eventually had to move through a cave system, which Volcanion plowed through like a boss.

Once exiting the other side, they were now on a mountain, covered in snow.

Said snow continued to fall as they continued to walk.

Making their way around Mt. Coronet, the two eventually found Snowpoint City.

They snuck through the nearby forest until they found what they had been looking for.

Snowpoint Temple.

* * *

The two came to a stop outside of said Temple, Volcanion looking around.

"_Hmm...he told me to wait outside. Something about me falling on the ice and "disrespectfully destroying a wall"..._"

"_Aww, he wants to be respectful? That's so sweet!_"

Volcanion shook his head at her naivety.

As no trainers were out and about the town yet, the two were free to stay in their natural forms; however, this made the small entryway a bit of a hassle for Regigigas to stand in, thus leaving him outside the steps.

Magearna tilted her head to the side.

"_Should we knock?_"

Volcanion looked around, tapping his massive foot impatiently.

"_Go ahead. If he doesn't answer, then we may as well go; I don't want you rusting from this cold._"

Giving a small "_Eep!_" at the thought, she hastily knocked on the old doors.

After a minute, one pushed open to reveal a Sneasel, looking incredibly nervous.

"Ah, hello? I heard--"

He cut himself off upon seeing who it was.

"_Hi there!!_" Magearna waved. "_Is Regigigas here yet?_"

"_We were **supposed **to meet him here,_" Volcanion half-sighed once more.

The Sneasel jumped.

"O-Of course!! I was--rather, ah, _we _were--warned--not _warned, _necessarily, as that would imply you were a terror--which you are _not, _of course--to mankind--but, ah, we were told you would be coming. Let me just...ah..."

He dissapeared back inside, sounds of his feet pitter-pattering following.

Magearna giggled.

"_He was funny!!_"

Volcanion rolled his eyes.

_*Nervous and a time-waster is more like it.*_A few minutes later, the doors pushed open all the way, the same Sneasel followed by Regigigas appearing.

Regigigas made a series of clicking sounds, waving.

Volcanion nodded.

"_Hello, Regi..._"

He trailed off upon noticing his attire.

"_...You're wearing a robe_."

Indeed, the massive chunk was adorned in a reddish-purple robe, swirling designs adorning it. The fluff around the edges was a deep gold.

Now that the Sneasel was in plain sight entirely, it was shown that he too was wearing one; his was a dark greenish-grey, a dull grey on the fluffs. However, his seemed slightly more feminine, treading into kimono territory.

Regigigas gave something of a nod, turning to the Sneasel and making a gesture.

"O-Oh, you want me to explain?"

Another 'nod'.

"A-Alright then. Well, you see, it is tradition that no Pokémon are to, ah, enter the temple naked. N-Not that nudity is a sin, necessarily, but considering the origins of our--_THE--_Temple, and the overall--what do you call it--_air _of the Temple, it was...instated, a time ago. The clothing isn't _required, _per se, to be robes, but that is what those of us who live in the temple tend to wear. Those who are visitors are allowed to bring their own clothing, or Pokemon such as the Onix or Steelix who live here can wear something else to..._accomodate _themselves."

Magearna looked intrigued, whereas Volcanion seemed even more confused.

"_But what sense does that make? I understand "traditions" and all, but what could possibly make Pokemon require clothes?_"

"W-Well, that would, ah, include _The Origin of the Ice--_"

However, he was prevented from continuing, as Regigigas held out an arm to prevent him from continuing.

"O-Oh, you, ah, want me to stop?"

Another nod.

"A-As you wish, Regigigas..."

The massive chunk proceeded to step out, removing his robe.

However, when it fell from his body, it landed on the Sneasel, burying the poor ice type.

"U-Uhm, Regigigas...? I-If I may..."

Regigigas turned around, and upon realizing his mistake, removed the massive garment.

The smaller Pokémon inhaled the freezing air gratefully, bidding his thanks to the Regi.

The Regi turned around again, making a series of clicks that insinuated "Shall we go?"

Volcanion, after making the connection, nodded, leaning down to Magearna.

"_I'll be back in a few hours. Please behave and don't go on any more "grand adventures" where I can't find you._"

"_Okay!!_"

She hugged his leg.

"_Love you!!_"

He sighed, embarrassed that they were doing this in public.

"_Love you too._ _Now go on with the..._"

He looked up at the ice type.

"O-Oh!! I'm a, ah, Sneasel..."

He nodded.

Looking back down at his smalper companion, who was still hugging his leg, he continued.

"_You can...go with the Sneasel, now. Regigigas and I need to get going._"

She let go of his knee with a chirp.

"_Alrighty!! Bye-Bye!!_"

She skipped off into the Temple, the Sneasel chasing after her shrieking "WAIT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY GARMENTS ON YET--"

As the two Legends began to depart, Regigigas made a cooing sound.

"_Shut up._"

* * *

After getting Magearna settled into a robe that managed to fit her, she and the Sneasel began the trek down the floors of the Temple.

Magearna was chattering about every little thing that she saw or heard, absolutely perplexed by everything around her.

"--_Oh, and it gets chillier the lower we go, doesn't it? Oh, and there's another Sneasel, like you!! Oh, but you said the females have shorter head feathers, right? Hi lady Sneasel!! Oh it smells so nice in here even though snow doesn't have a smell_\--"

She paused suddenly, turning to him.

"_Sa__y, what's your name?_"

This made him pause as well, and he turned to her, suprised.

"I...what?"

"_Your name. What's your name?__ I've been referring to you as "Sneasel" in my head and when I talk, but you have a name!! I mean, everybody has a name, even the same Pokémon!! Even if a human catches them and gives them a new one, they should've still had one before. So, what's **your **name?_"

He blinked.

"I...m-my name is Oswald..."

She giggled, clapping her hands.

_"Well, pleased to meet you, Oswald!! I'm Magearna!!_"

With that, she skipped off to the staircase they had been nearing.

Oswald felt his face heat up a little, his status changing to confused.

_*She...I...*_

_*...What just_ **_happened_**_?*_

* * *

Regirock angrily scribbled on it's notepad, flipping it around and shoving it in its sibling's nonexistant faces.

Registeel clicked, yanking up its own pad and scribbling on it as well.

It then slammed it on the floor, crossing its arms.

Regice made a motion that gave off the same air of rolling its eyes, letting a puff of air out of where its mouth might have been.

It too grabbed its pad, writing on it and nonchalantly tossing it by Registeel's.

The other two Regis looked at it, then immediately went into huffs, making clicks and other noises as they shook their fists.

However, their argument was cut short as the sounds of someone descending the final staircase reached their...nonexistent ears.

Their 'heads' all turned to find Magearna and their favorite Sneasel, Oswald, coming down; Magearna was still chattering nonstop.

Once this revelation settled into their (what I'm assuming they have) brains, they immediately flung the pads away.

Each one rose, moving to greet the newcomer; however, Regice tripped on its robe, landing with a CLUNK; thus leading its siblings to trip over it and fall as well.

Angry clicking and beeping ensued as they untangled themselves, prompting giggling from Magearna.

Once they'd freed themselves, they lined up, looking at Magearna.

She chirped happily, waving.

"_Hi there!! I'm Magearna!!_"

She skipped over, examining them.

"_Oh, I've heard lots about you three!! Well, not **lots **lots, like your favorite foods or your sleeping patterns, but I know a lot about you!!_"

She skipped to Regice.

"_You're Regice--_"

She skipped to Regirock.

"_You're Regirock--_"

She skipped to Registeel.

"_And you're Registeel!!_"

She spun a few feet away.

"_Your movesets are Hail, Blizzard, Thunderbolt, and Focus Blast for Regice, Flash Cannon, Iron Head, Hammer Arm, and Aerial Ace for Registeel, and Earthquake, Stone Edge, Drain Punch, and Rock Slide for Regirock!!_"

She gave a little twirl, her slightly-oversized robe spinning with her.

"_Oh, and you guard Regigigas!! So sweet!!_"

The three Regis stood there, staring at her, completely perplexed.

They, in unison, turned their heads to Oswald.

He shrugged, confused himself.

"_Oh, did I introduce myself??_" She gasped."_How rude of me!! I'm Magearna!! Oh, so that we're "even", my moveset is Fluer Cannon, Flash Cannon, Aura Sphere, and Heart Swap!!_"

She clapped her 'hands' together.

"_Oh, I'm just so excited!! You three just seem so nice!!_"

This would have been a prime time for stunned blinking, but when you don't have eyes that sort of thing just doesn't happen.

Oswald tugged at the collar of his robe nervously.

"Well, I-I, ah..."

"_EY, OSWALD!!_" Someone yelled from upstairs. "_GET UP 'ERE, WE'RE PLAYIN' A DRINKIN' GAME!!_"

Intimidated by one of his "roomates" yelling, he bid the four goodbye and scurried up the stairs.

This left the Regis alone with Magearna, who giggled and clapped her hands.

"_Oh, I'm just so excited!! What shall we do first?!_"

* * *

Regirock clicked and beeped in protest.

"_Oh Regirock, come on!! It's just a little mud, it can't hurt you!!_"

The protesting returned, the chunk of stone waving its hands about.

Regice and Registeel were busy slapping the mud on their faces, never having learned how to properly apply a face mask.

"_But I'm **sure **your type disadvantage won't cause you any problems!! Besides, look at Registeel!! They're weak against ground but they still put it on!!_"

This made Regice and Registeel pause, the former turning to the latter.

It wasn't able to completely see through the mud, but what it could see was Registeel having an existential crisis.

Suddenly, a horrible screeching noise echoed in the room, Registeel rolling around on the ground in an attempt to get the mud off.

Several crashing sounds ensued upstairs, followed by Oswald tripping down the stairs.

"Is every--***hic***\--thing alright?!"

When his vision settled and he examined the scene, he rubbed his face, tripping his way over.

"Registeel, ah, if you--***hic***\--would allow me--"

The screeching Regi was then dragged away by the Sneasel, them returning a few minutes later; Registeel, shaking, with a clean robe and Oswald still tipsy.

"If that-***hic***\--solves your--"

"_EY OSWALD, GET UP 'ERE!!! GARNET'S GOT A GOOD ONE__!!_"

He sighed, shaking his head and dragging himself up the stairs.

Regirock looked at Magearna.

While still not having a face, it gave the impression of someone looking skeptical with a raised eyebrow.

Magearna gave a nervous chuckle.

"_Perhaps only Regice and I can put on the face masks..._"

As she skipped over to help Regice, she embraced Registeel, giggling.

"_It's okay, Steely, at least you tried!!_"

After she broke the hug and skipped to Regice, Registeel spared a glance at Regirock.

It made a teasing clicking noise.

Angry and embarrassed beeps were its reply.

* * *

"_Soooooooo...does anybody have any..._"

She "inhaled" for dramatic effect.

"..._Cruuuuuuuuusheeeeeeees_?"

The four were surrounded by snacks, consisting of cupcakes, chips, pokeblocks, poffins, and the like.

Magearna, in her haste to make friends out of the three, had decided to go with what her princess and her friends had used to talk about at their sleepovers.

_O/O/O/O_

_"Princess Gabriella, thou shant believe what act sir Harold's Blaziken commited on Sir Anthony's Braixen not a fortnight ago!!"_

_"Spilleth the tea, Lady Bethany!!"_

-

_"Doth any of thee express feelings toward any maaaaaaaaaaaaleeeeees?__"_

_"Oh, Princess, thou art bluuuuuuushiiiiing--"_

_"Is it Sir George? What about Sir Anthony? Oh, how about--__"_

-

_"Thou would **not **believe it!!"_

_"Believeth what?"_

_"Lady Bethany's mother is pregnant once more!!"_

_"That shant be a problem--"_

_"But it is not Bethany's father!!"_

_"Ooooooooh--"_

_O/O/O/O_

Luckily, she still didn't understand that last flashback. Why would she want to give birth to her husband?

Anyways, both Regice and Regirock's head spun to Registeel.

While they still had no faces, you could feel the shit-eating grin energy radiating off of them.

Angry hissing metal sounds could he heard as the hunk of metal tried to blow them off.

It failed.

Miserably.

"_Oooooooh!!_" Magearna felt excitment bubble up within her.

She leaned towards Registeel, robotic eyes sparkling.

"_Who is it?! Who is it?!_"

The Regi spun its head back and forth, crossing its arms.

Magearna, while her face refused to let her pout, changed her stance and lowered her ears.

"_Pleeeeeeeeeaaaase tell me!! I can keep a secret!! I promise promise **promise **not to tell anyone!!_"

She leaned in closer.

"_Pleeeeeeeee**aaaaaaaase?!**_."

After a moment of trying not to look at her, Registeel gave up, looking away and quietly beeping something.

"_What was that?? I couldn't quite understand..._"

Beeping, but slightly louder.

"_Come again?_"

Finally, it gave up, practically yelling its beeps.

It took a moment, but eventually the revelation set in, and Magearna squealed.

Loudly.

"_THAT'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!_"

Registeel grumbled via mettalic hissing, thankful it was unable to blush.

"_Oooh, that's just the cutest thing!! Oh, and he's in this region, too!! Well, I don't know if you three go back to Hoenn or not, but still!! Awwww~_"

The other two gave off what seemed to be snickers.

"_Does Regigigas know?? I'm sure he'd be supportive!!_"

The snickers erupted into Morse Code laughter.

Registeel facepalmed, not wanting to remember how beeping in its sleep caused Regigigas to find out who it was.

The teasing was relentless for _days._

Magearna leaned in again.

"_So w__hen are you going to ask him??_"

A seemingly appalled aura surrounded Registeel, and its head whipped back to her.

"_Well that's how it was done in my time!! Or, at least that's what I saw..._"

_O/O/O/O_

_"Lo!! Our eyes hath connected, and that must meaneth that our fates be intertwined!! Let us marry on the morn of the summer solstice!!__"_

_Princess Gabriella was on one knee, arm outstretched to her chosen "suitor"._

_The messenger boy shook within his uniform, nervously looking around._

_"Y-Your Highness, I-I am b-but a s-simple m-messenger b-boy--"_

_"**Nonsense!! **This is true love at its finest!!"_

_"B-But...w-well...i-isn't the s-summer s-solstice tommor-row morn--"_

_"A minute detail, my love!!"_

_"B-But Y-Your H-H-Highness, I...I b-believe I am y-your elder..."_

_"And?"_

_"B-By a f-few years...a-aren't y-you eleven??"_

_"That is correct."_

_"I-I am s-seventeen..."_

_This made the princess pause._

_"Oh."_

_However, she sprinted away, dragging an older girl back with her._

_"Then marry my cousin!! She is eighteen!!"_

_"Y-Your M-Majesty--"_

_The older girl examined him, then nodded._

_"He will do."_

_"WAIT, WHAT?!"_

_O/O/O/O_

Magearna sighed wistfully.

The Regis looked between each other, slightly mortified.

"_So you see,_" Magearna continued, "_Love always works out in the end!! So you should at least try!!_"

Registeel stared at her for a moment, then looked away, beeping.

"_Aww, **maybe **later? Fine..._"

* * *

"_Which one of you owns **this property?!**_."

The four were now playing Monopoly, and the rare, angry side of Magearna was coming out.

Regirock snickered as it gestured, wanting its payment.

Magearna screeched, slamming the fake bills into its hands.

"_WHY WOULD YOU EVEN **BUILD ****HOTELS **ON **BOARDWALK?!**_."

The shit-eatin grin energy returned.

The mechanical bunny angrily leaped across the board, tackling the Regi with a battle cry.

Regice and Registeel watched with twisted amusement and slight fear at the normally peppy bunny's wrath.

Regice felt something pang in its chest.

Oddy enough, it felt nice.

* * *

"_Skip me one more time. Skip me **one more frickin' time, Icy. I dare you.**_"

Regice looked at her.

_"I will face Arceus and walk backwards into the underworld"_

It didn't know where it had heard that quote, but the ice chunk heard it echo in the back of its head as it laid down a 6th skip card, staring straight into Magearna's Soul Heart.

Now, it was its turn to feel her wrath, as she lunged on top of it with a war cry, sending Uno cards flying.

As it watched, Regirock felt the same odd pang that Regice did.

However, they were all distracted as Oswald came tumbling down the stairs, crashing into the wall.

All paused as they stared at him, watching him drunkenly try to untangle himself and walk to them.

He fell flat on his face.

Lifting it back up, he attempted to ask them if everything was, ah, alright, but it came out as slurred blabbers.

An Onix descended the stairs even less gracefully than he had, then proceeding to drag him away.

Once the scene had passed, Magearna looked back down at Regice.

At first, it expected/hoped she would be merciful, but at the unleashing of another war cry, it knew that was not so.

* * *

Volcanion and Regigigas stumbled up the pathway to the temple, worn out from the day's events.

"_That...that was probably the most insane day I've ever experienced,_" Volcanion mused. "_And that **is **saying something._"

Regigigas nodded, but radiated a smile's energy.

He gave several beeps, prompting Volcanion to look at him.

"_You...want me to participate again?_"

Regigigas nodded sincerely.

Volcanion rolled the idea around in his brain.

"_Well...I suppose...if your siblings don't mind watching Magearna some more, I could tag along again..._"

The master Regi clapped his hands together, beeping happily.

When they threw the doors to the Temple open, Regigigas fetched them robes.

As they progressed, they found various Pokémon who were living there scattered about, either passed out, doing some drunken activity, or trying to clean up the drunk one's messes.

Regigigas gave a snorting sound at the sight of Oswald, unconscious, trapped within the cuddling coils of Garnet the Onix, who was fast asleep.

As they descended, they could hear the voice of Magearna and the sounds of the other Regis.

Once reaching the lowest level, they found the four, huddled around an object, Magearna narrating.

"_T...A...K...E_..."

Regigigas stepped forward, but Volcanion stopped him.

"_If she has an Ouija board, it's best to stay back._"

"_A...N..._"

The Regis were shaking with anticipation.

"_I...O..._"

She then paused.

"_Take an IOU? Why? All we asked was if the heat death of the universe was real!_"

"_I'm not sure that it is, Magearna._"

The four's attention was redirected to the two giants, Magearna squealing and skipping over to Volcanion and hugging his leg.

"_Volcanion!! Did you have a good day? I hope so!! Oh, we had such a wonderful time--_"

As she babbled, the Regis floated over to Regigigas.

They looked up at him and clicked, gesturing to Volcanion.

Regigigas nodded, radiating happy energy as he gave a thumbs up.

Volcanion, eventually, spoke up.

"_Well, we best be going..._"

However, Regigigas dismissed him with a wave, referring to how late it was.

"_Well, we can't just--_"

The almighty chunk was having none of it, and insisted they spend the night.

Volcanion looked down at Magearna, who stared up at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"_Can we **pleeeaaase **__stay, Volcanion??_"

At that, he sighed.

"_Alright...I suppose we may as well._"

* * *

**I FINALLY, FINALLY, _FINALLY _WROTE A SUCESSFUL CHAPTER ABOUT THE REGIS.**

**IN YOUR FACE, _BRAIN._**

**Hehe...sorry.**

**Alrighty, a few things.**

**First, about Registeel's little cruuuuuuuuush:**** It's not Regigigas, in case you misunderstood that. It's somebody else. I will give you one hint, along with the two from this chappie:**

**Steel-Type Legendary.**

**Next, about that last scene with the Regis talking to Regigigas about Volcanion:****They were asking if Regigigas had managed to make friends with Volcanion, as he'd been wanting to ever since the Rainbow Rocket introduction chapters.**

**Also, Magearna's Princess is a distant ancestor of both Brock and Bonnie, hence why she proposed for herself then immediately switched to her cousin.**

**Another thing, NEW POLL:**

**At first, I had a perfect idea of where the ships in this story were going.****That plan was lit on fire and thrown out the window by chapter 10.**

**Anyways, new poll on the Shaymin shippings we have!! Yes, there is a fake, crackshipping vote, so I am allowing everyone to vote twice in case you vote for that and don't wanna waste your vote.** **Or you can't decide.**

**Instructions are as follows:**

Now, for my fellow mobile users, you'll have to go on the internet site (just go on Google or whatever engine you use), go to the bottom of the screen, and click 'Desktop Mode'. It'll take you to the computer/laptop version of the site. Then, go to my profile and it'll be at the top of the screen!

For you lucky computer users: Same thing pretty much, you probably just won't have to change versions of the site.

For my app exclusive users: it's unacessible via the app, you have to use the site. Don't like it? Hey, I don't run the site.

Now, it's a blind poll, aka only I can see the results until voting is closed.

**(Copy-Pasted from Chapter 29 XD)**

**And, finally:**

**BACKSTORIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEES!!!**

**I've been considering doing this for a while, and so I decided: Eh, Wynaut. Audino why I haven't done it yet anyways.**

**(HeheheKILLME)**

**Okay, so, as previously stated, I've been planning this sort of thing for a while. They're my takes on the backstories of the legendaries. Some stories will be long, some short, heck, some may even be dummed down to one-shots.**

**But most importantly:**

**Not all will have happy endings.**

**So! On the lookout!!**

**(I know, I _know, _I'm trying to write Disaster Vacation, I promise.)**

**WPFOTD: Black and White are the only Mainstream Pokemon games to get sequels instead of remakes.**

**Welp, see ya next chappie!!**


	38. Boredom Search

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back!**

**Mega: Have you never felt somebody giving you that look behind your back?**

**Ri2: Glad you liked it!!**

**...That's a good question.**

**Honestly, I've been trying to decide that since I saw their movie. Like, in some ways, Volcanion gives off that "Protective Boyfriend" Energy, but also kind of "Protective Brother" Energy, but the way I write them it's a bit of a combination of the aforementioned two but also "Protective Father" Energy. So...yeah, I dunno.**

**But, considering Regice and Regirock last chappie (and in the future), boyfriend may or may not be out of the question.**

**Anon: Eh, just depends on how I'm writing those three each day. Seriously, I just go with the flow and whether they seem more male or female just kinda happens.**

_*Thoughts*_

"Speech"

"Telekinesis Talk."

* * *

Latios groaned, crossing his arms.

He glanced at Bianca, who was planting some flowers.

"I'm bored, Bianca."

She didn't hear, nor did she understand; she had airpods in.

He huffed, floating over.

He nudged her, wanting somebody's attention.

She placed her hand on his muzzle, pushing him away.

He grunted in disdain, nudging her again.

She pushed him away, harder this time.

"Not right now, Latios."

He pouted, grunting.

Wiping some of the dirt from her hand off his face, he floated away, annoyed.

Normally, on a day like this, he'd go over to Kanto to bother Mewtwo and Zapdos; however, as they were currently in Alola, he essentially had nobody.

_*Maybe Rayquaza's free...we haven't discussed plans in a while...*_

Thus, he flew off.

* * *

As he was headed for the ocean (to get to Sky Pillar), a giant green snake-dragon went plowing past him, using Extreme Speed.

The smaller dragon was sent tumbling; when he regained his balance, he yelled out.

"Rayquaza--"

"DON'T GO NEAR THEM!! THEY'RE INSANE!!"

Confused, the younger floated to where Rayquaza had fled from.

He spotted Palkia, Groudon, Regigigas, and Volcanion, suprisingly.

He didn't understand until he spotted the T-Shirts: _The Cool Mans Crew._

"--And that's why I have maturity issues!!" Palkia finished proudly.

The other three stared at him.

"_You have...brain damage._" Volcanion added slowly.

"Yup!"

"_You have a chronic disorder...from brain damage._"

"Uh-huh!!"

"_From...your brother._"

"Yep!! During the big fight before dad banished 'im!!"

The other three stared.

"...What?"

"Uh...let's just spin the wheel again." Groudon added uncomfortably.

Latios' confusion didn't waver; that is, until the wheel finished spinning.

Groudon let out a "HELL YEAH!!" and began storming towards the ocean.

A glance at the board showed that it had landed on Kyogre; Palkia began chanting "FLIRT OR DIE!! FLIRT OR DIE!! FLIRT OR DIE!!" while Regigigas clapped his hands on beat, whilst Volcanion rolled his eyes.

Latios slowly crept away.

* * *

After escaping "Cool Man Stuff Day", Latios began roaming around again.

He stumbled into a clearing, where Phione sat, covered in moss, the ground under him soaking wet, and a camera in front of him.

"As you can see," He deadpanned, "the moss is slowly killing me, as I'm weak to grass, and my body is made of water. It's like a deadly poison, making me melt from the inside out."

Latios turned, floating back the way he came.

* * *

The small blue dragon found himself hiding in the bushes, spying on his sister and her best friend(?).

Shaymin and Latias sat on a cloud, talking to...some sort of shadow Pokémon.

It was strange; he couldn't recall seeing any Pokémon like her at all.

He was pretty sure it was a her, anyways. That's what the voice sounded like.

He couldn't figure out what they were talking about--not to mention that he had been late to the party.

Was she...asking for help?

Seemed so, because Latias excitedly agreed, whilst Shaymin looked pensive.

However, as they were starting to leave, the Shadow Pokémon looked Latios dead in the eyes.

Fear welled through him as her eyes flashed--

Wait.

_*What am I doing here again?*_

He looked around, unable to figure it out.

Shrugging, he flew off, hoping to find something interesting.

* * *

The bored dragon eventually reached Unova, descending in Pinwheel Forest.

He headed towards the sounds of arguing.

Reaching a small clearing, he found Terrakion, Virizion, and Cobalion engaged in an argument--well, Cobalion and Virizion were engaged, whilst Terrakion just sat on the ground eating chips and offering his opinion when he felt like it.

"At least the kid ain't here," he muttered to himself. "'Cause this'll be one awkward conversation."

Latios was confused at that comment until an odd scent hit his nose.

His face wrinkled as he looked in the direction it was coming from; as it turns out, it was coming from Virizion.

_*Oh...**OH. OH NO.***_

She spotted Latios just before he turned to leave.

The deer-like 'mon bounded over to him.

"Latios!! What are you doing here?!"

Slightly uncomfortable with how close she was standing, he backed away.

"I was wondering if Keldeo and Victini were around," He answered. "I'm having a rather dull day, and--"

"I'm afraid you're out of luck, Latios." Cobalion walked over, pushing his way between the dragon and Virizion. "Keldeo, Victini, and Meloetta are in Kalos on vacation."

_*Kalos can't be that far, can it?*_

However, he was snapped out of his thoughts by the sight of Virizion nuzzling Cobalion--and not in a simple sibling or friendship way, either.

Plus, she seemed to be pressing her whole body onto his and smacking their backsides together.

Latios became very confused and slightly disgusted.

"Aren't you three siblings?"

That made all three pause--Terrakion mid-chew.

They all groaned.

Loudly.

"Not this crap again," Virizion muttered.

"No, we aren't." Cobalion sighed. "Everyone seems to _think _we are, because we're a trio. But we're not."

"I'm too lazy to correct people at this point," Terrakion shrugged, dumping the rest of his chips into his mouth.

"And half the people forget or don't listen, anyways," Virizion muttered again.

"_And _we still gotta explain it to the kid, y'know--"

"**_LATER._**" Cobalion and Virizion snapped at their not-brother.

He rolled his eyes, looking at Latios.

"Wanna make $20?"

The dragon looked at him.

"Er...sure?"

The bull 'mon tossed a wad of cash at him.

"Go buy me another bag of chips. You can keep the change and I'll still give you the 20."

"Uh...alright?"

* * *

The trip to the nearby store was even _more _boring than everything else today.

He had to wait in line for an hour, deal with a slow and uncaring cashier, _and _he almost got shot in the parking lot.

...Okay, _that _wasn't as boring. More like _terrifying_.

Eventually, he returned to the clearing and received his payment from Terrakion.

"Ooh, BBQ. Nice."

The bull ripped the bag open with his teeth and began stuffing his face.

Latios suddenly found himself tackled and pinned down.

"Tell me Latios, are you a virgin?"

"_VIRIZION HE'S NOT EVEN FIVE HUNDRED!!_"

The in-heat grass type paused.

"Wait, you're not--"

A bright force filled her vision, blasting her away; when it cleared, a mega-evolved Latios shot away.

"**_THAT'S CLASSIFIED!!_**."

* * *

The Hall of Origin _always _had something interesting happening.

Unfortunately, most everyone else had scattered, as Arceus was on a "Creation Spree".

Latios had heard stories about those, mainly from his father; Arceus would get an idea, pull out an elemental plate or two, charge up his powers, and more often than not, turn most of whatever room he chose into a lab.

And then there were christenings and other sorts of strange things, but his father had never gone into full detail.

Currently, Arceus had turned the dining hall into a lava pit, and was shooting ice at it.

He then changed elemental plates, sending waves of water at it instead.

Humming, he floated a clipboard to himself, documenting his results.

Latios raised a brown, looking at the lava.

Even after being blasted by ice and water, it hadn't moved an inch.

Arceus' normally golden hooves and ring thingamajig changed from blue to green as he changed plates; he then fired a Leaf Storm at it...only for the leaves to smack into the lava and begin floating on it.

When the llama god began scribbling once more, Latios spoke up.

"Erm...Arceus?"

His Creator paused, glancing down at the small dragon.

"_Oh, hello, Latios._"

He went right back to scribbling.

Latios floated closer.

"What are you doing?"

Arceus set his clipboard to the side, detaching his grass plate.

He spoke to Latios absentmindedly as he shifted through the others, deciding what to test next.

"_I'm doing a lava study._"

Latios waited for him to continue; when he didn't, he spoke up once more.

"Lava study?"

"_Mhm. I'm creating a new type of lava._"

"...Why?"

"_For my new region, of course._"

Latios blinked, surprised.

"New region?"

"_Mhm._"

The dragon tilted his head to the side.

"Weren't you watching Team Rainbow Rocket?"

"_I **was. **But I got bored. So I took a little trip around the regions to unwind. During that time, inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks._"

"Inspiration...?"

"_Yes. So I'm making a new region, and this new type of lava is for the volcano._"

Latios scratched the side of his head.

"So...you can just make a new region? Just like that?"

"_I'm a god, Latios. I can do a lot of things 'Just like that'."_

Latios inched closer.

"Like, say...annihilate an entire criminal organization that threatens the world as we know it? Which includes my sister, possibly?''

That made Arceus pause.

He sighed.

"_No, Giratina. Implementing a new region into the timeline would have less of a drastic effect than doing that. It's complicated._"

When he turned his attention back to his plates, Latios made a confused face.

"I'm Latios, not Giratina."

Arceus paused again.

"_Yes...yes, of course. Pardon my mistake._"

Something else he had said caught the younger's attention.

"Wait, implement the new region into the timeline?"

"_Of **course, **Palkia. If it isn't implemented properly then you have an unstable mess, an angry Dialga, and two very pissed Celebi on your hooves._"

"...I'm Latios, not Palkia."

"_Yes, of course, my mistake._"

He selected his electric plate, firing a beam of lightning at the lava.

This time, the lava absorbed the blow, rather than deflecting it.

Arceus seemed surprised at that, instantly scribbling on his clipboard.

Yet another thing Arceus had said caught Latios' attention.

"Wait, _two _Celebi?"

"_Of course. You've probably never met the pink one, he lives in Orre._"

"...Which one's the shiny?"

"_The pink one, of course._"

"Figures."

Latios thought to himself, _*Which is worse, dealing with a crazy god or insatiable boredom?*_

After a moment, he spoke up, having made his decision.

"Would you like some help?"

* * *

Latios screamed as the lava consumed him, sucking him down in like a giant mouth.

Arceus scribbled on his clipboard.

"_Special Warning: Dragon Type Moves are highly discouraged in presence of and for direct use on lava._ _Specimen used currently is male, will find suitable female for testing._"

* * *

After (eventually) being rescued from being eaten by lava, Latios shot away from the Hall of Origin at breakneck speed.

Once far enough away to feel safe, he stopped, panting heavily.

He descended slowly, stretching out on the ground.

Rolling over, he stared up at the sky, trying to relax.

However, a voice from behind distracted him.

"_Latios?_"

The tired dragon rolled over, looking at the disturbance.

Cresselia gracefully floated towards him, concerned.

"_What **happened **__to you? You look horrible_\--"

"Arceus," He breathed out. "Arceus...happened."

The psychic floated above him, examining the damage.

"He said...the colour...would come back soon...a week, at most..."

"_And the burns?_"

"Two weeks..."

"_Hmm..._"

She closed her eyes body illuminating in a soft glow.

"What are you..."

The sky abruptly turned to night, the moon glowing brightly.

Latios realized that a shining orb had appeared in front of Cresselia; the sparkles from the moon descended onto it.

The sky changed back to day, and the orb vanished, revealing a glowing lunar wing.

It floated over, descending, landing on his chest; it fused into his chest, instantly curing his burns and relaxing him.

The dragon looked back up at her, surprised.

"Erm...thank you?"

The psychic..._thing_ nodded, floating back, giving him room to get up.

"_I combined Moonlight with one of my Lunar Wings,_" she explained. "_That cured your injuries, and should keep those nasty nightmares you've been having away for a while._"

The dragon froze.

"How did you know about..."

"_I can see dreams,_" She elaborated. "_It's part of how I feed; I can feed on the energy from good dreams, just like Darky and nightmares._"

She shook her head.

"_Unfortunately, I can't create them like he can. I can only get rid of nightmares through my Lunar Wings as well._"

"...Huh. I didn't know that."

She looked behind herself.

"_Speaking of Darky,_ _how would you like to join us for lunch? Considering you flew all the way here from the Hall of Origin, you must be hungry._"

He opened his mouth, only to be cut off by his stomach answering for him.

The crescent moon giggled, pulling him along.

* * *

Darkrai was waiting at an elegantly set up table, complete with a tea set, cake, and an assortment of different fruit salads.

After consuming an enigma berry, he looked up to find Cresselia and a grey-and-white Latios coming to the table.

"_**That's **what came flying down here?_" He asked, consuming a pecha berry.

"_Mhm. The poor dear got roped into one of Arceus' crazy creation schemes._"

"_Oooooh._"

He looked at Latios.

"_I thought your sister may have gone on a crazy rainbow spree again._"

The younger male shuddered.

"We don't speak of that."

"_Anyhoo, I invited him to join us._" Cresselia interjected. "_That's fine, right dear?_"

Darkrai shrugged.

"_Fine with me._"

He fetched another chair for their visitor.

Latios hadn't realized how hungry he was until he had devoured an entire bowl of fruit salad and was speedily working through the next one.

Darkrai reached over and patted him on the back.

"_Don't forget to breathe._"

He coughed a little when he obeyed; his lungs were gratefull, however.

Darkrai shook his head.

"_You eat like your father._"

The younger paused, looking at him.

"You knew my father?"

Darkrai chuckled.

"_Oh yes, we were good friends back in the day. He even hosted my bachelor party._"

Latios furrowed his brows.

"Wait, bachelor party? As in, before you get married...?"

Cresselia laughed.

"_Of course!! Our wedding was actually where your father asked your mother out for the first time!_"

Latios jaw dropped.

Then he tilted his head to the side.

"Wait, so you two are..."

They nodded in unison.

"...Huh. I should probably tell my sister before she does something stupid trying to get you two together."

Darkrai shuddered.

"_You'd better. Your grandmother was bad enough._"

All sorts of confusion overtook him.

However, the first question that slipped out happened to be "How long have you two been married? My grandparents died _years _before I was

_conceived!!_"

Cresselia laughed again.

"_Oh, we'll have been married for 1,126 years next month._"

His jaw dropped again.

"How old was my dad?!"

Darkrai somehow snorted.

"_He was actually the longest living Latios on record. Guy just wouldn't stop kicking!_"

"_Quite literally,_" Cresselia added. "_Your mother, too. Those two were the most stubborn Eons I've ever met!_"

"_Granted, we always had them beat, us being original eggs and all,_" Darkrai continued. "_Plus, he may not be as old as you think--how old are you again?_"

"417," Latios replied. "My birthday already passed this year, so..."

Darkrai thought for a moment.

"_Right, I think he'd just hit 650 at our wedding_. _Shaymin and I were always older than him, but he was surprisingly mature for his age._"

"_So 650 plus...what, 700?_" Cresselia thought aloud. "_Subtract a few years from our anniversary for Latios and his sister being born..._"

"_It's a rough estimate,_" Darkrai conceded, "_But it seems he was roughly around 1500, possibly 1600. Eons like you usually only last around 1000, and in some instances 1200. But, like we said, your parents were stubborn._"

The sudden realization that he was slowly nearing the halfway point of his average lifespan shook Latios to the core.

_*I'm wasting my life chasing an impossible girl and making stupid bets with my best friends, aren't I?*_

"_That is, assuming you don't die abruptly or anything_."

That snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Pardon?"

"_Oh, you know_..." Darkrai paused, somehow taking a sip of tea. "_You could be in an accident, get assassinated, get accidentally assassinated, decide to end it all yourself--_"

"_Darkrai!!_" Cresselia swatted him over the back of the head.

"_Sorry, but it's true. Or you could get executed, straight up murdered for no reason, or--oh, why don't we just talk about methods? Freezing, starvation, decapitation, hanging, stabbing, burning, slicing, dicing, drowning--_"

"_**Darkrai. **You're scaring the poor boy__!!_"

Latios was indeed shaking in his seat, eyes wide, pupils dilated.

Cresselia gave him a nudge.

"_Latios..._?"

"_Oh, don't tell me he's a thanatophobic--_"

A large blast of pink and purple filled their vision; when it dissipated, Mega Latios went shooting all the way back to Hoenn.

Cresselia glared at her husband.

He sweatdropped.

"_Oops..._?"

* * *

Latios collapsed in Bianca's backyard, groaning.

_*What a day...__*_

"Latios!! You got a postcard in the mail!!"

He lifted his head as the girl approached, extending it to him.

He reached out and took it.

A gorgeous picture of Hano Grand Resort's beach at sunset sat on the front; upon flipping it over, he found two messages:

_We're having more fun than you ever will!!_

_-Zapdos_

_Try not to get too bored without us._

_-Mewtwo_

_P.S. Articuno says hi._

The dragon snorted, shaking his head.

"No promises."

**Holy crap.**

**Guys, I legit didn't realize I hadn't updated in like 6 months until a couple weeks ago. Seriously, I am _so sorry _about that. I'll try to do better, promise.**

**I could go on and on about my motivational issues, but nobody cares about that, so let's just move on.**

**This chapter is symbolic; Latios' boredom represents us in quarantine and having nothing to watch on TV. His search for something interesting is us channel surfing, and each situation is a different program.**

**Rayquaza is the sibling yelling at you not to watch a weird program, and the Cool Mans Crew is the weird program you're scared of watching that gives a weird reveal when you pass by it and you have no context.**

**Latias and Shaymin are the program that looks cool but you can't remember what channel it was on and you don't know the name of it.**

**Cobalion, Terrakion, and Virizion are the program that's in place of the one you want to watch and is really weird and gross.**

**Arceus is the science program you don't understand but it looks cool because of the weird experiments, but then is something really strange.**

**Cresselia and Darkrai are the nice, chill thing you're enjoying until it turns really dark and horrifying.**

**The end scene is when your faraway friends text you that they're thinking about you and miss you.**

**Yes, Latios is thanatophobic. If you don't know what that is:**

**thanatophobia-a form of anxiety characterized by a fear of one's own death or the process of dying. It is commonly referred to as death anxiety.**

**Aka, fear of death.**

**Let's see who can figure out who that Shadow Pokemon was from the scene with Latias and Shaymin.**

**Uhh...yeah, I'm not sure if I need to say anything else.**

**Oh, for updates, I think for now, this story will be every other week for a while. I have other stories I'm working on, so I am gonna need extra time for those. And as CotA nears its end...**

**Welp.**

**Also, SHAMELESS PLUG TIIIIIIIME!!!**

**I have two other accounts on other sites: AO3 and Fimfiction. More to come.**

**There's not too much on my AO3 right now, but more will be coming soon; if you want exclusive, not-found-anywhere-else MLP content, check out my Fimfiction! You may just be supriiiiised~**

**Also!! You like Fnaf? You like long fics? Check out NIGHT LIFE, which has made a big return!! Both on AO3 and here!!**

**More Fnaf will be coming as well :)**

**One last thing and I'll shut up:**

**Thank you all for sticking around and supporting me, I really appreciate you guys. Writing is one of the few things in life that keeps me going and makes me stick around, so thank you. Love you guys :)**

**All right, See ya next Chappie!!**


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